Love Ridden
by Heather11
Summary: With Willow's influence, Buffy & Spike come together but when tragedy strikes, it tears them apart. Can another tragedy bring them back together? AU
1. Default Chapter

title: **Love Ridden  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none, another au/fantasy fic. Some things borrowed from the Buffyverse to suit the story  
disclaimer: All bow down to Mutant Enemy, which I, unfortunately, have nothing to do with.  
summary: Having lived next door to Spike for the last two years, Buffy sees him for who he truly is; an obnoxious, snarky, loathsome boy. But behind all this, her good friend, Willow sees a spark in her that Willow knows she's right about. Spike has never been able to figure why Buffy hates him and decides he's going to find out. Finding their way to each other, they figure out more about themselves than they ever thought they would but when tragedy strikes and tears them apart, can another tragedy bring them back together?

a/n: Just thought I'd let you know that although Buffy still lives at Revello Drive, I took some liberties with her room to suit the story. So don't say that's not how Buffy's room is. I know this, I simply changed it. :)

**Prologue**

"So..." she tapped her fingers nervously on the table.

"Yeah..." he sighed, slumping down further in his chair.

"Well, spit it out. Don't just sit there."

"Don't just tap there."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes. She laid her hands flat on the table but the silence was driving her to the brink. She began to tap again, only louder. She heard him groan out of frustration and she smiled internally.

"You always were a hell on the old skins," he smirked.

She dared to look at him, albeit briefly. She ducked her head back down to hide the small smile that formed on her lips. "We just need to-"

"I'm done talking about it," he announced, getting up from his chair, striding over to the table with purpose. He placed his palms on the table and stared at her until she hesitantly looked up, her eyes wide. "Are you happy?"

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it instead and looked away from his gaze.

"Well, that's answer enough for me," he gritted out. He walked around the table and towards the door.

She shot out of her chair, causing it to crash to the hardwood floor which stopped him. "Please, like you are. Don't you dare go laying blame, acting like a wounded puppy who had to retreat. Don't even go there."

He spun around and took in her stance. It was so classically her and he felt his heart break just a little bit more. Her hands on her hips, shoulders squared, lips puckered in anger, the look of annoyance and anger and the tiniest hint of something that he would never understand or ever touch that caused her to act this way.

"No, Buffy, I'm not happy," he said, quietly but with force.

"And whose fault is that, Spike?"

"Ours." And with that he opened the door and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Chapter 1**

Two Years Prior

"Seniors! It's just too cool!" Willow said excitedly.

"Yes, we know, Will. Leaving campus for lunch has its perks but its not the all-time best thing ever, " Buffy said, shaking her head at her friend's happiness.

"No, that's reserved for when we actually leave this hell-hole," Xander grumbled, taking a seat on grass. His girlfriend, Cordelia, sat in between his legs and nodded in agreement.

"I don't care what any of you say. This is going to be a great year. Mark my words," Willow told them, none her giddiness subsiding. She felt the comforting touch of her boyfriend's hand on her shoulder. "See, Oz agrees with me."

"Oz didn't say anything," Cordy snipped.

"This is Oz's second go...maybe he knows more about the fantabulousness that is senior year than we do," Buffy offered.

"No, the fantabulous is walking this way. Do I look okay?" Cordy asked, smoothing her hair.

"Hey!" Xander objected. She turned her head and flashed him a smile.

"Great!" Buffy exclaimed, sarcastically. "I'm out of here."

"Do you know him?" Willow asked, confused.

"Hello? We all know him. William Alden...you know the thorn in my side."

"What the hell happened to him?" Xander wondered.

"He had an accident with a bottle of peroxide and cow hide," Buffy answered, snidely as she watched him coming closer.

"William? No way. He was all floppy and goofy with the curls and the glasses," Cordy tried to explain.

"Well, I guess a summer away in England does a body good," Xander said. Everyone looked at him, eyebrows raised. "I didn't mean it like that. I, I meant-"

"We know what you meant and I don't think he looks any better. He's still the same asshole he's been for the last two years since he moved here," Buffy interrupted.

"I've never understood the animosity between you two. He's always been nice to the rest of us," Willow stated.

"He doesn't live next door to you. You don't get to see the daily annoyance that is him."

"But he was so shy and reserved. You practically had to beat a sentence out of him," Willow said.

"That's what I liked about him," Oz threw in.

"Sure, shy and reserved...you know that's what they say about serial killers when the police interview the people who knew them," Buffy said as she got off the grass. "I'm leaving before he gets here. If it's even possible, he is more obnoxious than he was before the transformation."

"There's still another twenty minutes of lunch, Buffy. Just sit. What's the worst that could happen?" Willow asked.

"I could murder a man and be sent to jail for the rest of my life."

"I think you're exaggerating," Cordelia told her.

"I think you don't know what you're talking about. He's completely different at home than he is here at school. You guys have no idea what an inane, hideous pers-"

"Must be talking about me."

Buffy spun around and smiled. "As a matter of fact, I was." She didn't like how he was looking at her. All full of bravado and smirking, not trying to hide his blatant once over of her. She rolled her eyes and took a step back, away from him.

"Now, now, pet...didn't any of that seething hatred for yours truly go away over the summer?"

"No." She walked around him and made her way back to the school. She stopped, turned and yelled, "Don't call me pet!"

Watching her retreat, Spike laughed to himself and shook his head. He turned to the others and said, "This is going to be a great year."

"That's what I've been saying!" Willow agreed, her excitement renewed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I flat out refuse to call him Spike. I mean, what the hell is that?" Buffy asked Willow, taking yet another break from studying.

"You know, if we haven't figured it out with the last ten times you've asked that question, we probably never will. And since we have fun chem to study for-"

"There has to be a reason. You don't go from being and looking like a William to being and looking like a Spike."

"If you're so curious, just ask him," Willow suggested, knowing full well her friend would never do it.

"Yeah, right. Like I would willingly have a conversation with that dip. I think not." Buffy went back to her book and looked at Willow was pretending to study, as she knew she would just be interrupted again. "Something must have happened."

"You know what?" Willow asked, putting her pen down on the table. "I'll go ask him. That way I can actually study in peace." She got up from the table and made her way to the front door with Buffy following her quickly.

"You can't!" Buffy yelled, grabbing a hold of Willow's arm.

"I most certainly can and plan to," Willow told her with a nod of her head. She shook her arm from Buffy's hold. "You're too strong," she added as she rubbed her arm.

"Sorry," Buffy said, meekly. "Didn't mean to hurt you."

"Well, you did," Willow said, just to bide time for Buffy to back away from her so she could open the door and run out without receiving another vice-like grip on her arm.

When Buffy moved away from Willow, resting her back against the door way, Willow quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, taking off to the Alden's house. She heard Buffy scream her name and she laughed but quickly calmed herself as she made her way to the front door. She rang the doorbell, waited, rang it again, waited some more and then began to knock. She knew he was home. She had seen him drive out of the lot at school with the black car that was now parked in the driveway. The door opened, startling Willow and she saw Mrs. Alden who was smiling at her.

"Willow? My goodness, I almost didn't recognize you. You've cut you're hair. It looks lovely, darling."

"Oh, thanks," Willow said, her fingers going to the now short locks. "Is William home?"

"Don't you mean Spike?" Mrs. Alden asked with a smile. "Come on in. He's up in his room...brooding. I never thought I would have a typical teenager."

Willow couldn't help but laugh as she entered the house. "I didn't think Will-Spike knew how to brood. He's just not the type."

"That was true. Now, he is. I'm regretting the day I allowed him to go back home," she said, laughing lightly. "You remember where it is?" Willow nodded and made her way up the stairs. The layout of the house was very similar to Buffy's house. She smiled as she remembered the shouting matches that the two would get into out of their windows that faced each other. Neither having a care in the world that the entire neighborhood could hear them yelling at each other about nothing other than the fact that they both existed. She took a breath and knocked on Spike's door.

"Go away." She knocked again, a smile playing on her lips. "Mum, I don't want any sodding shortbread," he growled as he opened the door. His face rose up in surprise at seeing Willow. She offered him a meek smile as her eyes went past him to scan over his room. She was surprised to see that he had painted his walls black. Spike saw what she was doing and stepped in front of her view. "Red...what are you doing here?"

"Okay, there's no easy way to ask this so I'm just going to ask." Spike looked at her expectantly. "What's with the make-over?"

Spike chuckled and shook his head. "Stick up her ass send you over here to ask?"

"What?" Willow practically yelled, inwardly kicking herself when she felt her face flush. "No! It's for me...I'm curious...and nosey...and don't call her 'stick up her ass'."

"It didn't seem like anyone pulled it out over the last three months so..." He saw Willow's face switch from embarrassed to anger and he held up his hands. "Alright, sorry about that. But you have to admit that when it comes to me..."

"Yeah, okay. I'll give you that," Willow conceded, smiling softly. "We're just wondering, that's all. 

Spike reentered his room and Willow followed, taking a seat on the chair in the corner. Spike sat on his bed and began tapping his feet on the floor. "There's not much to tell, Willow. Went home, met a bird, got into a scene and came back."

"Well, that's not very interesting," Willow grumbled. Spike chuckled at her reaction and felt some of his tension ease off. "By bird you mean girl?"

"Yeah, right crazy she was but I fell-" Spike cut himself off not wanting to divulge any information about that.

"You fell in love?" Willow asked, her voice wistful.

"Now don't you go telling people about that, especially Miss Holier-than-Thou. I'll never hear the end of it."

"No worries. My lips are sealed," she gave him a reassuring smile and asked, "So where'd Spike come from?"

He looked at her, a mischievous glint in his eye and a wicked smirk on his mouth. "Where do you think?"

Willow's features were marred with confusion until her eyes went wide with realization. "Oh my god! I can't tell Buffy that you got you're new name from...from...I can't even say it." She knew she was as red as thought she was and Spike's constant grin wasn't helping matters.

"Tell her I killed a whole slew of people with a railroad spike. She'll believe that," Spike offered.

Willow smiled and nodded in agreement. "You're mom seems to be taking the transition well."

"Good 'ole Anne."

"And your dad?" Spike's expression hardened and Willow saw him clench and unclench his fists. "You know what? Never mind. Curiosity killed the kitten, right?" He looked at her again, relief flooding his face without his knowledge. She gave him a small smile and got out of the chair. "Okay, well...I should head back. Chem to study for and a Buffy to deal with."

"Alright, then. Have a good time with that," Spike told her as the atmosphere in the room shifted from friendly to uncomfortable. Both noticed it immediately and silently wondered why. Spike decided he wasn't going to let it go. He let a lot of things go this summer and he wasn't going lose the people he had become friends with since he moved here. "Hey, Red...thanks."

Willow turned to look at him, her brow furrowed. "For what?"

"For not taking this," he swept his arm over his body, "at face value. For wanting to know."

She smiled and a small laugh escaped her. "Still have a little bit of William in there, after all."

"Hey, now-"

"Spike, it's not a bad thing," Willow said quietly. She waved goodbye and left, leaving Spike to mull over what she had said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Willow could open the door to the Summers' house, it flew open to reveal a very agitated Buffy standing there.

"First off, you tricked me. I thought I actually hurt you. Bad Willow. Secondly, get in here and tell me what happened right now or I will really hurt you."

"If you got out of the way, I could," Willow said, trying to contain her smile. She walked to the table, sat in her chair and began to study again, knowing all the while that she was driving Buffy insane.

"Willow!"

"Yeah?" she asked, not looking up from her book.

"Tell me!"

"Buffy, if you wanted to know so badly, you should have gone over and asked him yourself."

"Nooo...that's why you went over."

"I went over to find out for me. I never said I was going to tell you anything." She heard Buffy sigh heavily and whine a bit before she looked over at her friend. "There's not really much to tell. He went, he saw, he changed. Pretty much the it."

"No, there has to be more than that. No one just goes on summer vacation and comes back looking completely different."

"Have we forgotten what happened between our sophomore and junior year? You came back to town all blonde with about seven inches taken off. You changed your look. He changed his."

"Well, at least mine was subtle. He's just screaming 'look at me, look at me'! It's annoying."

"So you keep saying," Willow muttered, studying her friend. "Have you ever wondered why all you do is complain about him?"

"Uh, yeah, because he's the bane of my existence," Buffy said, the expression on her face relayed to Willow what a stupid question Buffy had thought that was.

"That we all know, but why? I mean, he moves here and right from the start it's all argh with the fighting and the scowling. You didn't even give him a chance."

"I did, too! Mom dragged me over there and I said hello."

"Wow, you're so giving," Willow said, sarcastically.

"He's the one who barely got out a response. I mean, who can't say hi back? Extremely rude, if you ask me. He has no...manners," Buffy explained, knowing her excuse was as lame to Willow's ears as it was to hers.

"Oh my god!" Willow yelled, making Buffy jump in her seat.

"What?"

"You **love** him!"

"No, I **loathe** him!"

"You want to kiss him and have his babies," Willow teased.

"I'm going to vomit," Buffy said, quickly, getting out of her chair and running out of the room.

"Oh, Spike! Kiss me! Love me!" Willow called after her friend, all the while laughing hysterically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy slammed her bedroom door and threw herself onto her bed. She heard loud music wafting through the open window and raised her head to see Spike laying on his bed, reading a magazine, and tapping his feet on the bed. His free hand on his thigh tapped along to the same rhythm. She couldn't see all of him, just the black jeans and his shirtless torso, which gave her enough of a reason to pause. She briefly wondered why she moved her bed over to this window instead of where it had been for the last three years of living there.

"Better...breeze from this window," she justified quietly. "Willow's insane." She watched him as he turned to his side, laying the magazine on the bed. She unconsciously licked her lips at seeing him from this angle. She tried to will her eyes not to dart down to his stomach or notice that his jeans rode so low on his waist that she could see that lovely pelvic line that led to parts she would never admit she thought about. Buffy watched as he reached over to his bedside table, his muscles tightening at the movement, and grabbed a cigarette.

"Gross. To add onto everything, now he's a walking advertisement for throat and lung cancer. Yeah, that's sexy." She couldn't look away, however, as he lit the cigarette and let it dangle from his lips as he scratched his head, causing his hair to curl in a most delicious fashion. "Argh...I need to do something and this isn't...helping." Her mind went blank as she watched him lazily scratch his stomach. "Oh god...I'm sick. I'm a voyeur. I need help." She threw her head down on her mattress, throwing her arms over her head to keep it there.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow said as she opened the door to her room. Buffy yelped in surprise and jumped from her bed. "Sorry didn't mean to startle you."

"No! It's fine, really!" Buffy exclaimed, waves of embarrassment washing over her.

"About before, I didn't mean to give you vomit-y feelings and I wanted to...wow," Willow whispered as she looked out the window and saw Spike. "Hey, when did you move your bed?"

"Uh, what?"

"Your bed? When did you move it over here?" Willow asked, innocently, even though her intent was to add more validation to her Buffy loves Spike theory.

"Better breeze..."

"Oh, is that what it is?"

Suddenly, Buffy turned and went to the window and yelled, "Can you please turn that shit off? Some of us are actually trying to study!"

Spike shifted his body and ducked his head down to look out the window. He smirked, got up and went to the window. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You and that crap you're forcing the rest of us to listen to."

"The Ramone's are not crap. Been to any good Dido concerts lately?"

"At least she can sing!"

"Joey has more talent in his pinky nail than any of those wankers you listen to, Blondie."

"Whatever!" Buffy screamed, rolling her eyes. "Just turn it off."

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? Turn it off, William."

Spike narrowed his eyes and opened the screen to the window so he could lean out further. Buffy did the same and Willow stood there with a bemused expression on her face. Buffy's eyes once again refused to cooperate with her brain as they roamed over the expanse of his chest, taking in the way his shoulders were hunched in anger, the muscles in his arms twitching from how tightly he grasped the windowsill. And, of course, Spike did the same thing, although there was no inner debate within him. He wanted to look at her, liked the view down her already low-cut shirt, enjoying the way her hips moved slowly back and forth as if she were getting ready to pounce. A pouncing Buffy...that brought a smile to his lips.

"What are you smiling about?" Buffy yelled.

"I just love to piss you off."

"Screw you, William."

"Come on over, then. It's not nice to offer and than take it away."

"You repulse me. I wouldn't touch you with a-"

"Ten foot pole?" Spike interrupted.

"Oh, so you've heard that before? See how surprised I'm not."

"You know you want to put your hands on my hot, tight little body, Summers." He ran his tongue along his teeth for added measure.

"Put a shirt on. I feel like I might retch."

"Not what it looks like to me, luv."

"ARGH!" Buffy screamed, slamming the window closed. She heard Willow snickering behind her and she whipped around to glare at the girl she thought was her best friend. "Say anything and die." Willow held up her hands in supplication. Buffy stormed past her and down the stairs.

"This really is going to be a fun year," Willow said to herself as she bent down a bit to look out the window. Spike was there, laughing and gave a small wave to her before shutting his own window. "Fun, fun, fun," she muttered as she headed back to studying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike had only been home for a week and in that time all he could do was sleep. He had barely seen Buffy, just a glimpse here and there. The plan that had formed over the summer was completely diminished after her reaction to him at school and this afternoon. He had no idea why she hated him so much but he was making it his mission this year to find out. He had never done anything to her. He kept to himself, far too nervous to talk to her anyway. The other's had been so welcoming of him when they moved here. All except her. He could never figure it and he tried not to let it bother him but after two years, it did. He hated that it did and when he left for England, he was bound and determined to get it out of his mind.

With that, he set out to change, to find something to sink his teeth into, so to speak. When he met Drusilla, he thought it was perfect. She was beautiful, dark and seemed to understand him within the instant that they had met. He never left her side, enraptured by her from the start. She cut his hair and dyed it, found the leather duster that became his second skin, showed him how to let go of his inhibitions and find the man he had always wanted to be. In two short months, he was certain that he would be with her for the rest of his life. He asked her to look into a student exchange program so they could be together over the year and she readily agreed. Life, he had decided, was looking up. He would take his dark princess home and rub it in her blonde, goody-goody face. Buffy would see the man he had become under his love's tutelage and she would go mad with jealousy. Yup, that was the plan...except, Spike thought ruefully, this being his life, it didn't turn out that way.

By the beginning of August, he had slowly noticed the quirks that he had found so endearing in the beginning were starting to border on insane. She was the jealous sort, practically scratching out the eyes of any girl who dared look at Spike. Even that hadn't bothered him. In fact, he got a kick out of it and loved the feeling of getting his ego stroked. What he soon realized was what was Dru's was hers, what was his was hers and any of the rules that she implemented did not apply to her. He found that out when he took a walk around the park and found her making out with a big, burly type on a bench. He felt like he'd been punched in the chest and his heart was torn out on the withdrawal.

She had told him she needed to find her pleasure somehow and he railed against that saying that they were both perfectly satisfied. Granted, he hadn't had sex with her but there had been plenty done that wouldn't leave a person wanting. He smiled at the image of Willow's shocked face at his blatant lie about where his new name had come from. He just wanted to see her squirm. He had never taken Dru's prattling to heart or taken it seriously, to be perfectly honest. The idea that he had once found her talk of faeries and the stars whispering delicious secrets to her intriguing made him think that he was the crazy one. But that night, in the park, airing their issues to any passer-by, she had said that the stars told her about the other one. The one he was surrounded with, the one he tried to get away from, the one he was waiting for. He tried to explain that she was off her bird, that she had no idea what she was talking about but then she held up her hand, looked him in the eye and said one word. Glowing. And it knocked him for a loop as he realized that maybe she was just a little bit psychic. There was no other way she could have known. It wasn't like he talked to Dru about Buffy. He certainly would never have told her that the first time he saw Buffy, that was the only word that came to his mind.

In the end, he walked away. Didn't confirm nor deny, he thought it best not to what with her claw-like fingernails and her propensity for threatening to gauge out people's eyes with them. He sulked at his grandmother's for the next two weeks, biding his time until he got on the plane that brought him back to a place he didn't want to be. When his mother had picked him up at the airport, she merely looked him over, gave him a small, but amused smile and hugged him fiercely. He knew it was killing her not to ask what had happened...other than the sudden split of his father from their lives and there would be a blizzard in Sunnydale before he admitted that any of this had anything to do with him. Anne accepted calling him Spike from now on, although she did frown at the name, she didn't push or prod and he knew it was her subtle way of waiting until he went to her, which he undoubtedly would do eventually.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the light on Buffy's room go on and he turned in his bed to see her pull down her window shade. He wasn't too upset that he wasn't getting a free show because the shadow of her body was imprinted on it. He felt more than a little creepy for watching her undress but he couldn't tear his eyes away as he saw her shadow lift her shirt over her head. She turned to the side and he could see the outline of her breast. He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes, conjuring a non-shadowed image of her.

His eyes flew open when he heard a loud crash and swearing. He looked back to her window and saw that the light was out, the shade was up and her window had been opened. He saw her hobbling around near her bed, holding her foot up and fighting back tears. She bent down and picked something off the floor, replacing it on the vanity.

"Stupid bed with your stupid bed legs," he heard her grumble. He smiled at what she said. It was just so her and although he usually didn't find butchering the English language a huge turn-on, there was something in the way that Buffy did it, that he could find no fault with. She got into bed, leaving one bare leg over the covers and that alone made him think that she knew he was watching and she was slowly trying to kill him with torture.

A question suddenly occurred to him and he smiled, not knowing the answer but looking forward to figuring it out. Why had she moved her bed closer to his window?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"School stinks," Buffy whined as she sat on a bench in the courtyard.

Willow sat next to her and smiled, "You say that after every period. There's not one class you like?"

"Lunch count?"

"So did you talk to Spike yet?" Willow asked, taking a bite of her banana.

"No, I haven't talked to William and I'm not planning on it so whatever little idea you have running around in that over-worked brain of yours, just let it go." She glanced around the area, making sure he wasn't there and added, "Did he say anything about his dad?"

"Not so much but the muscle spasms on his face led me to believe that it was a subject that shouldn't be brought up," Willow told her, sadness in her voice.

"I still can't believe it. Poor Anne."

"And Spike," Willow added.

"Yeah, well....whose father doesn't leave them now-a-days, huh?" Buffy asked, rhetorically. Willow glanced at her friend and saw the faraway look in her eyes. She was hit with an overwhelming need to hug her, to give Buffy some comfort. And so she did. Buffy laughed softly. "What's that for?"

Willow released her hold and shrugged. "Just didn't want you to get lost in memories. Enjoy the one period of class that you like."

"Who is that with Michael and Amy?" Buffy asked, nudging her chin in the direction of the three teenagers.

"Oh, she's staying with Michael. She's an exchange...oh my god, I wonder..."

"You wonder what?" Buffy asked, looking at her friend who was staring at the girl, wide-eyed, mouth agape. "Will? Wonder what?"

Willow saw Spike come out of the door and stop dead in his tracks as he saw her. She knew by the look on his face that this was the girl he had told her about. Willow felt her blood start to boil at the girl's audacity for actually showing up. She didn't know what had happened between them, but if the look on Spike's face was any indication, it couldn't have had a happy ending. She could hear Buffy impatiently asking for answers but she was too busy watching Spike make his way over to the two girls.

"Willow, I'm not kidding. What's going...oh, great," Buffy said as Spike approached them.

"You okay?" Willow asked, her concern evident.

"Yeah, will be. Best not talk about it in present company," Spike said, pointedly looking at Buffy.

"Excuse me?" Buffy yelled. "You are such an-"

"Asshole, yeah. Got it the other hundred times you told me. Look, Summers, I need a favor."

"Well, since you asked so nicely...no."

"It would actually kill you to do something for someone else, wouldn't it?" Spike asked, letting anger take over his hurt of her brush-off.

"Helping you? Uh, yeah." She turned her attention back to Willow, who Buffy couldn't believe had her most sympathetic face on for Spike. "Okay, what is going on? You're all with the woe-is-Spike face and you look like you're about to explode."

"Buffy, just help him out," Willow told her. "I promise it won't hurt."

"Yeah? And you know that how?" Willow only shrugged in response. Buffy sighed heavily, making sure they both knew she was not on board. "I am so self-sacrificing. What do you want me to do?"

Spike didn't answer, just grabbed her upper arms, hauled her off the bench and kissed her hard. Buffy made protesting noises and grabbed onto his arms, digging her nails into his skin. Spike loosened his hold and wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her closer to his body. He removed his mouth from hers and looked at her.

"Good to know that's how to shut you up," Spike said.

"Let go of me," Buffy growled.

He put his mouth next to her ear and whispered, "Thanks, Summers. Much appreciated." He let go of her and walked away.

Buffy glanced around the courtyard, hoping that no one had seen that display when she saw Xander and Cordelia staring at her, shocked. Buffy groaned and sat down on the bench. She turned to Willow, who was smiling smugly and she had to refrain from smacking her best friend.

"Just so you know, I'm never talking to you again," Buffy told her, matter-of-factly.

"Well, it worked. She looks like she's ready to attack," Willow smiled, nodding her head in Dru's direction.

Buffy looked at the girl, who was shooting daggers at her and turned back to Willow. "I was used as a pawn?" She didn't wait for Willow to explain. She grabbed her bag and took off in the direction that Spike went.

"Please tell me that what I saw was some elaborate joke," Xander pleaded as he and Cordelia came to a stop next to Willow.

"It was nothing," Willow told them and then added, smirking, "But you never know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy saw him, walking into the science building. She was no one's game piece and she sure as hell was going to let him know that. She ran into the building and heard his heavy boots on the stairs above her. She quickly followed and came to the second and only other floor in the building. She opened the door and yelped when she felt a hand wrap around her arm.

"Come back for seconds, Summers?"

"You wish. Get off me," Buffy said, pushing him away from her. "What the hell was that?"

"I asked for a favor and you said yes."

"No, a favor is like 'can I borrow your notes' or 'can I get a quarter'. It's not kissing me in front of the whole school just to make some girl jealous."

"The whole school wasn't there. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Practically there and don't refer to my knickers," Buffy told him, crossing her arms over her chest. "You could have asked first."

"Oh, yeah, right. You would have so willingly gone along with that," Spike huffed, leaning against the wall.

"I might have...I've been meaning to do some charity work lately. You're as pathetic as it comes." She saw him flinch at that and she softened her position. "You could have told me. I know a little something about getting your heart stomped on. I would have understood."

"You? What happen to the magnificent poofter?"

"He left for college and we decided- Hey, it's none of your business," she said, as she joined him against the wall.

"You wouldn't have done it even if I had explained."

"Maybe but it probably would have looked more realistic if I weren't trying to scream no against your mouth and drawing blood."

Spike laughed and pointed to his arm. "Looks like you succeeded."

Buffy made a face and mumbled, "Sorry."

"An apology from Buffy Summers? Am I dreaming?"

"It's probably the only time you'll ever get one so don't ruin the moment by being you," Buffy said, a small smile on her lips.

"I'm guessing Willow told you what that was about, then."

"Pretty much. Did you meet her when you went home?"

"Yeah and that's all I'm saying about that."

"Fair enough." The bell rang and Buffy groaned. "Looks like I'll be late for history yet again. Thank god Mr. Miller just expects it of me by now." She walked over to the doors and said, "Don't do that again." Spike merely nodded and watched her walk away.

"That went a lot better than I expected it to," he muttered to himself as he made his way to his own class. He saw Xander sitting at their table and smirked, knowing he was going to be asked questions. "Whelp."

"William," Xander answered back. "So, macking on the Buffster, huh? Very nice."

"No one should be allowed to use the word macking," Spike said. "And it wasn't so nice. The red welts on my arms can attest to that."

"Who cares when there was lip on lip action?"

"If it wasn't so damn painful, it might have been a more pleasant experience."

"You'll just have to try harder next time," Xander joked. "It'd be funny just to see her kick your ass for trying that again."

"She is abnormally strong," Spike agreed, absently rubbing his arm. "I'm not testing the fates again. I got off way too light."

"Spike..."

"Balls," he muttered and turned in his chair to see Drusilla standing there. "Dru."

"Now, now, we're not going to pretend to be angry still, are we?" Dru asked as she came closer to their table.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking this class."

"Not what I meant. What are you doing in this bleeding country? I hoped that when it ended, the idea of you coming here ended as well."

"You've been naughty. I saw you with that girl."

"Yeah and I saw you with that no-neck on a bench. Your point being?" Spike asked, trying to remain as calm as he could.

"She's not yours yet and I've come back-"

"Dru, stop your prattling. It will never happen."

"Hey, I'm Xander," he interrupted, seeing the telltale signs of his friend about to lose his temper. Drusilla looked him over and shrugged as if he was inconsequential. "Oh-kay..."

"I think I'll ask the teacher if you can tutor me as I'm probably very far behind..." Dru said as she walked away. Spike was out of his chair in an instant, grabbed her arm and brought her into the hallway. "That wasn't very hard. You'll always come back to me." She ran her hand through his hair and he shook her off.

"I'm not going to tutor you, I'm not going to talk to you. You stay the hell away from me. You destroyed us. You live with the consequences," Spike spat before releasing her arm and striding back into the classroom.

"So, what was that about?" Xander asked.

"Stupid bint," Spike muttered as she walked past him. "Is this day over?"

"Sorry, still have about three hours of hell left."

"Oh, goody," Spike retorted sarcastically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Spike! Hold on a second!" Spike heard someone call to him. He turned and smiled when he saw Willow give Oz a hug and quick kiss goodbye before running over to him. "Sorry about that but I wanted to talk to you."

"No problem, ducks. What's on your mind?" He pointed to the parking lot and she nodded, following him over to his car.

"About what happened at lunch-"

"Ah, coming in as the scowling best friend," Spike interrupted, smirking. He pulled out a cigarette and leaned against his car.

"I don't think you're supposed to smoke on school property," Willow chided him lightly. "You could get in trouble."

He smiled at Willow's fake sternness and drawled, "Trouble's my middle name, Red."

"So that's why you kissed Buffy?"

"See, that was merely for experimental reasons to drive Dru even more over the edge."

"How'd that work out for you?"

"It worked but I didn't get nearly enough satisfaction from it."

"Well, that's disappointing," Willow lamented. "So you like her, right?"

"Who? Dru?" Spike asked, confused.

"No, Buffy."

"Are you insane? No, we have a very nice hate-on for one another. I'm not going to ruin that."

"Right, so out of all the girl's here at school, most of whom would have been very willing participants in your little charade, you picked Buffy, whom you hate?" Willow asked, eyebrows raised to show how much she really didn't believe him.

"Don't take this wrong way, Willow, but bugger off." He threw his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. He went to open his car door but Willow stepped in front of it. "Look, Red, I'm not exactly sure what it is your trying to start up but I can guarantee you that I don't want anything to do with it."

"The two of you are stupid," Willow told him. He looked at her, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing but nothing coming out. "I'm going to break this down real slow for you. Buffy likes you. You like Buffy. She thinks she hates you and you think you hate her. It's all very juvenile. I'm here to tell you to get over it."

"Tell her. Now get out of the way."

"No. I'm telling you. I'm sure you've noticed just how pig-headed the lovely Miss Summers can be."

"That's one way to describe her. I'd go with another but hey, this is apparently your time," Spike said, leaning back against his car again, resigned to the fact that Willow wasn't going to move until she was finished.

"She moved her bed."

"I noticed," Spike said quietly, instantly groaning inwardly for the tone of his voice.

"You don't think that's suspicious? I mean, for the last three years her bed has always been in the middle of her room. You go away for the summer and she switches her entire room around and now sleeps under the window where the two of you have gotten into many a shouting matches."

"Detective Rosenberg," Spike grumbled. "It doesn't mean anything. There's probably a very good reason for her-"

"She said there was a better breeze. Lame."

"That was her excuse?" Spike asked, not containing the smile that came to his mouth. Willow nodded, smiling herself. "And so what? Now she likes me? I come back looking completely different and now she wants to get to know me?"

"Moron."

"You're awfully vocal today, Willow. I don't think I like it."

"Two of my good friends like each other but are far too stubborn and dense to see it or admit it or whatever you people are doing. I'm annoyed." Willow moved away from the car and stood in front of him. "It's not because you got a new hair cut, lost the glasses and bulked up a bit-"

"So that's noticeable, huh?" he asked, puffing up with male pride.

Willow rolled her eyes and laughed. "Yeah, she noticed it a lot yesterday afternoon." Spike's smile grew wider and she shook her head. "Ego stroking...it's all it takes. You're all so easy."

"Like you lot don't like to be told you're goddesses who lead us around by the nose," Spike argued.

"Okay, okay. Nothing gets my stomach flopping quite like when Oz tells me I'm cute as a button and stop trying to get me off track."

"You're just guessing at all this feelings crap, Red. She's a looker, I'll give you that but personality wise? I'd rather hit myself with a hammer...repeatedly."

"You...William, Spike, whatever...you are the only thing she practically talks about. She never talked about Angel as much as you. It was always William this and that and how annoying you are and how she wished you'd move back to the Mother Country."

"Yeah, that just speaks volumes of love," Spike commented snidely.

"Come on, Spike. Didn't you ever slap a girl playfully or spar with...her...verbally..." Willow's eyes widened as she realized that she described every moment ever between the two.

"Get that look off your face. Just because I fight with Buffy and she fights with me doesn't mean we're hot for one another." Willow quirked her eyebrow in disbelief and Spike rolled his eyes, sighing audibly. "You're relentless."

"Yup."

"She'll kill you for doing this."

"Probably."

"We could kill each other for you doing this."

"Likely."

"So now that I'm nudging a bit, you're not going to speak actual sentences?" Willow nodded in the affirmative and Spike smirked. "Well, if I had known that, I would have just given in and been able to do something less irritating with the last half hour."

"So..." Willow prompted.

"You're the one in charge here. You tell me what you're going to do," Spike acquiesced, hoping he didn't regret this.

Willow smiled wickedly and said, "I'm going to help you get the girl."

+++++++++++++


	2. 2

**Chapter 2**

Buffy looked out her bedroom window and saw Spike in his backyard, helping his mother with the yard. A look of annoyance past over her face as she watched his sweat covered muscles flex under his arms as he dug a hole. She was going to put an end to this right now. For the last week or so, he had acted differently around her. Not nicer, exactly, but just different. She couldn't pinpoint what it was and that bothered her. Their little conversation in the hallway after the misguided jealousy attempt hadn't been enough to put the last two years behind them, at least not for her. And she wasn't about to let him think that because of one moment in time, that all was fine between them.

Buffy bounded down the stairs and looked in the dining room to find her mother buried by paperwork. "I'm going next door. I'll be right back."

"You're going where?" Joyce asked, not sure she heard her daughter correctly.

"Next door. You know, over there," Buffy said, slowly, pointing.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Very funny, Mom. I'm laughing on the inside. I'll be back."

"Honey, be gentle with William. You know all too well what it's like for him now with his father gone."

Buffy's eyes cast down and she felt a twinge of guilt pass through her. "I'll be on my best behavior." Seeing Joyce's doubtful look, she smiled and added, "I promise. I won't hurt him...too much." She ran out the door before her mother could say anything else. As she walked across the front lawn, she felt a tightening in her stomach and chest. She didn't like it. Buffy remembered the first few dates she and Angel had gone on, she had this feeling but not as strong as it was now. She knew what it meant then and she liked it. She didn't know or didn't want to acknowledge what it meant now and she didn't like it one bit.

She undid the latch to the gate and stepped inside, her eyes instantly going to Spike's back. She shook it off, pushing the word lickable that popped into her brain right back out again. Buffy saw Anne near the porch and she reprimanded herself silently. When she had left her house, Anne had gone inside, giving Buffy the perfect opportunity to chew Spike out. However, that plan now went down the proverbial toilet. She walked over to her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. Anne turned and smiled, surprised to see the eldest of the two Summers girls' at her house.

"Hello, dear. Is something wrong?" Spike turned around when he heard his mother speak and he did a double take at seeing Buffy standing in his yard.

Buffy gave Anne an embarrassed smile, quickly trying to think of an excuse for why she would be there. "No, nothing's wrong. It's, uh, see, with the...Green's moving, we don't have Steven to do the lawn anymore. So, um, my mom was wondering if William could do it. She would pay him, of course." She briefly looked at Spike and started when she saw him watching them.

"Well, that is something you would need to talk to Spike about, honey, but I have no problem with it," Anne told her with a smile. "Why don't I let you do that and I'll get us some ice tea? Spike, luv, come over here. Buffy has a proposal for you." Spike's eyebrow shot up and he licked his lips slowly, making Buffy's breath hitch in her throat. "You two discuss and I'll get refreshments." She smiled once more at Buffy and went into the house.

"Proposing already? I'm touched."

"Look, we need someone to mow our lawn. Will you do it?" Buffy asked, putting on her best annoyed voice.

"What's in it for me?" Spike asked, giving her the once over. Buffy gawked at how brazen he was and decided that he wouldn't get the better of her. She could give it back as good as she got it.

She stepped closer to him, taking her time to look him over as well, cursing the word lickable that wouldn't leave her brain. "Oh, I don't know. I'm sure you could work something out..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she agreed. She took a step back and put her arms across her chest. "With my mother."

Spike smirked, knowing he set himself up for that. He put a disappointed look on his face and said, "Got my hopes up for a minute there, Summers."

"Hopes?" Buffy asked, screaming internally for the way her voice hitched at the question. Spike scratched his eyebrow with his thumb and the butterflies in Buffy's stomach went crazy. She really needed to get out of there. Like now.

"Sure, thought maybe you were coming to your senses." He took his pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and lit one.

"How do you mean?" Buffy couldn't stop watching him smoke. She had no idea how he could make something so not appealing look like the most wonderful experience in the world.

"Thought maybe you were going to stop being a bitch to me all the bloody time."

Buffy's eyes widened at that and she scowled. "What the hell are you doing?" Spike looked at her, confusion running through his eyes. "You have been acting very strange lately. We didn't have some sort of break through last week, you know. It was just a minute of understanding between two people who can't stand each other. It happens."

"Understanding?" He grabbed her hand and put it on his arm. "I still have marks from our 'understanding'."

It took all of Buffy's might not to squeeze the arm, to feel the muscle beneath. It took willpower she never knew she had to not run her hand up and down the length of it and feel the sweat and dirt under her fingers. She wrenched her hand free and said, "You deserved it."

Spike didn't miss the look in her eye when she touched his arm. That was something he could work with. Willow told him what he had already known; look to her eyes to gage her reaction to things. Everything she felt and thought flowed through them and at that moment, he saw something that made him go hard at the thought of it. Lust. Pure and simple lust.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Buffy looked at him, surprised. "Probably not the best way to get your lips on mine."

"Uh..."

He stepped closer to her and brushed her hair behind her shoulder. "I'd rather not receive injuries when I kiss someone. But I should have known better...you do have a very violent nature."

"The hell I do," she yelled, shoving him away. That, she realized too late, was her first mistake. He grabbed onto her hands and kept them against his chest. Her fingers, apparently possessed by the devil, Buffy concluded, dug into his skin just a bit, just enough to feel him. Her eyes were fixed to that spot and she didn't notice Spike clenching his teeth, trying to regain some composure. He had no problem setting the scene but he was not making the first move. It was all on her.

She slid her hands down his chest to rest at his stomach. With Spike's fingers still clamped around her wrists, it made her exploration a bit more difficult to maneuver but what she was getting was fine by her for the time being. She lazily ran her thumbs up and down and was startled when she heard Spike gasp. She stepped closer, her body barely touching his and kissed him quickly in the space between his pecs. He watched her lick her lips, tasting the salt of his sweat and he made the decision to bugger all the plans that he and Willow had made.

He let go of one of her wrists and brought his hand under her hair, cupping her neck and head. She moaned softly as he rubbed his fingers against her scalp and he smiled slightly at her reaction. Her eyes finally rose to meet his and she knew there was no way this wasn't going to happen. Even she, despite all her protestations, wanted it. Needed it. Had to know if it would be as good as she imagined it would be. She only hoped two years of fantasizing about this moment didn't ruin it in any way. She leaned up on her toes, her chest resting against his. He slanted his head and moved in, mouth opened just a bit which she thought was incredibly sexy.

"Here we are!" Anne called as she came through the door. Buffy snapped her head away instantly and spun around, losing her balance. She fell on the ground and she thought she definitely broke her tailbone.

"Buffy, are you alright?" Anne asked, putting the tray on the table and running down the stairs.

Spike knelt beside her and looked at her, concern in his eyes. "Luv?"

"Don't call me luv," she said with a smile. He grinned back at her and held out his hand, lifting her up. "This is why I was never able to fulfill that dream of becoming a ballerina."

"Can you walk?" Anne asked.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just broke my butt, is all."

"Oh, good," Anne sighed, turning to go back to the porch. "So, did you two get everything worked out?"

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, a small smile on both their faces. "We're working on it," Buffy answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, I want details," Willow said as they sat down with their mochas at the Espresso Pump. Buffy looked at her friend and shook her head. "Okay, how about a vague account? I don't need to know every single thing but something would be nice."

"You have just been waiting for this, haven't you?" Buffy asked, smiling.

"Me?" Willow said, feigning innocence.

"Don't bat those lashes at me. I'm not Oz. I don't fall into a big pile of goo at the sight." She paused, taking a sip of her drink, trying to collect her thoughts about what had happened the afternoon before. "It was just..."

"What?" Willow pressed.

"Well, look who's the eager beaver now? How quickly the tables can turn," Buffy teased. "It was one of the most electrifying experiences of my entire life."

"With lips like his, I completely believe that."

"We didn't kiss."

"Uh, what?" Willow asked, confused.

"I think we were about to but his mom came out and interrupted us and then I fell, broke my ass, and went home," Buffy explained.

"So you haven't seen him since then?"

"No and now that the moment is over, I think it should be kept at only that. A moment," Buffy decided, the tone of her voice betraying her words.

"But you don't want to do that," Willow said, instantly picking up on Buffy's sadness.

"Will, I know you're all gung-ho for something to happen here but just because we're apparently physically attracted to one another, it can't be based on that. Give me a William, dressed in his new uniform of black and not shirtless and glistening in the sun and he's still the same annoying person he's been since I've known him. The nakedness is what distracted me."

"Glistening, huh?"

"Lickable," Buffy answered, with a wry grin. "But there will be no licking because that would be bad."

"Bad, why? Angel's gone, probably moved on, thank god," Buffy shot her friend a dirty look and Will gave her a small smile to cover for her slip, "and you are obviously lusting after Spike so-"

"I am not lusting after him!"

"Wow, you have seriously set up shop in denial, haven't you?" Willow asked, rhetorically. "I think if you actually got to know him, you would be surprised. There's a lot going on in there."

"That may be but I'm not going to find out, Will, so let it go, okay?" Buffy practically begged.

"I don't understand it. Attraction? Number one thing, I don't care what anyone says. If you don't find them pleasing to the eye, nothing else is going to happen. It's not like you can see a caring nature or their brain from across the room." They giggled at the mental image and Willow continued, "And it seems to me that you two have the attraction thing in spades. 'Most electrifying experience of my life'? And you want to throw that away because..."

"Because I am perfectly content to dislike him. I get his lips and other parts involved and that could shift my current opinion of him."

"And that's of the good!" Willow said, exasperated. "Buffy, I know you love to hate him but maybe you could, I don't know...love to love him?"

"I really don't see that happening, Will," Buffy said, apologetically. "There's simply too much friction."

"And that wouldn't work."

"Nope."

"Right, I understand. I'll let it go."

"Thanks, Will." Buffy smiled at her in appreciation. "So shopping?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spike? It's Willow."

"I've been expecting to hear from you."

"We have a problem."

"Not from where I'm sitting. Everything is going along-"

"No, it isn't," Willow said, sadly.

"What do you mean? Didn't she tell you about yesterday? Isn't that what you chits do? Gossip about all of us?" Spike asked, hating the anxious sound in his voice but not being able to help it.

"She told me, but unfortunately she saw it as a moment of weakness due to your nakedness."

"Is that what she said?" he asked, grinning.

"You do know I'm breaking every code in the best friend manual by both telling you all this and helping you."

"I'm well aware. You only told me twenty times the other week. Need I remind you that this was all your idea?"

"I know, but I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. I feel like I'm betraying her..."

"Sorry, luv, but you are," Spike told her.

"You were supposed to say something other than that. You know, something encouraging and something that doesn't read you suck as a friend between the lines," Willow grumbled.

"Again, I say sorry but I call it like I see it." He heard Willow sigh and he added, "Red, I know you're feeling guilty but like you said before, you're doing this to make her happy. I promise you that I can do that. I will not waste our time with this."

Willow's frown disappeared at his words and she found herself nodding. Realizing he couldn't see her over the phone, she said, "I know you won't."

"Good, so where does that leave us?"

"Well, since Plan A didn't turn out the way I expected it to...I guess we go on to Plan B."

"I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed that my ruggedly handsome mug didn't get the job done all on it's own," Spike half-joked.

"Almost, Spike, almost. She did say it was the most electrifying experience of her life," Willow told him, kicking herself for it but at the same time, wanting to give him some hope.

"No fucking way," he exclaimed. "Oh, sorry, Red."

"I'm not offended. If you tell her, I will cut off all your parts. Are we understood?"

"Crystal clear and I have a scary visual to keep it from slipping."

"Good. I don't know exactly what happened, other than you were interrupted-"

"Never wanted to hit my mother before that moment," Spike muttered.

"And what are you doing trying to kiss her? That wasn't part of the plan...you were only going to build it up."

"Yeah, well, man here...can only take so much."

Willow smiled and said, "Now that she's aware of the attraction, you can bet your bottom dollar that she'll be even nastier or she could ignore you all together. It's a fifty-fifty shot."

"That's not fair. Shouldn't she be more willing? Unresolved sexual tension and all that rot," Spike argued.

"Maybe for a normal person but we're talking about Buffy here. I know her and I know that she will lock up those feelings that came to the surface yesterday."

"So you're telling me I'm going to have to start over with knocking that wall down?"

"I guarantee it. Better put your thick skin on because you'll need it," Willow warned.

"Now for Plan B. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, you might not like it too much but just remember that she also used the word lickable..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was extremely proud of herself. She had thwarted Spike at every turn this past week and hadn't had to speak to him once. She was grateful that he didn't pursue her when she would take off but at the same time, she couldn't deny that nagging question in the back of her brain of why didn't he come after her? Maybe it was just a moment as she kept telling herself. Maybe the both of them were simply lonely and transferring feelings. Try as she might, though, the transferring part didn't exactly work for her, as she was well over Angel by the time he left. Sure, it hurt just as it does any time someone leaves you but she was looking forward to senior year all on her own, no one holding her down, having the ability to go out with her friends without having to call her boyfriend first to make sure he didn't want to do anything. She was free from all that. So why, she wondered, did she want it? And why when she did let her brain think about it, was Spike the man in the equation?

Shaking her head, she closed her locker, thanking the powers that be that it was Friday and she wouldn't have to be here for a whole two days. She turned and crashed into a body, dropping her bag on the floor. Buffy bent down to pick it up and mumbled an apology to the person.

"It's alright, dearie."

Buffy rose to a standing position and took in the sight of the girl from the courtyard. "I...I didn't see you."

"That can happen when things dance through your head."

"Um, yeah. Excuse me," Buffy went around her but Drusilla grabbed a hold of her arm. "Could you not touch me?" Buffy yanked her arm free and sarcastically said, "Thanks."

"You do, you know."

"I do what?" Buffy asked, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"Glow, just like he said you do." Dru took a step closer, wiggling her fingers in front of Buffy's face. "But he likes the darkness, you see. You do best to stay away from him."

"Look, crazy lady, I'm not near him," Buffy told her. "Well, I live next door to him but-"

"He'd go into your light if you let him," she whispered. Buffy's eyes went wide and her breath caught in her chest. "But I am his salvation-"

"Get bent, Dru." Both girls turned to look at Spike who was leaning against the lockers. "Let me amend my threat from before. Stay away from me and the people that I know." He walked to stand beside Buffy and she felt herself relax a bit.

Dru studied them for a moment before a wicked gleam passed through her eyes and her mouth curved into a smile that sent shudders down Buffy's back. "Together, you're...what's the word?" She paused, her eyes roaming over Buffy's face. "Electrifying."

Buffy's face flamed red and she began to sputter but no words came out. She quickly looked at Spike and saw the shock on his face. He turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting hers and he saw the confusion, as well as the embarrassment, swirling in them. She looked at Dru one last time before turning and running off down the hall.

"Buffy, wait!" Spike yelled and turned to run after her.

"Never say I didn't do anything for you, Spike," Dru said, laughing.

He turned, his eyes narrowing. "You go near her again, I'll throttle you myself." He took off down the hall and stopped when he saw Buffy talking to Willow. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he could see that Buffy was visibly shaken. He heard Buffy yell "I can't believe you" and watched her run off again, leaving Willow to look after her.

"Red?" he asked as he approached her.

"What the hell happened? Are you not a fan of your parts because I remember a very specific threat I made to them if you ever-"

"I didn't, I promise you, I didn't say a word," Spike interrupted. "Dru...she said some things that upset her."

"Well, duh, Spike!" Willow screamed, fighting back her tears.

"Where'd she go?"

"I'm not telling you another thing!"

He grabbed onto her arms, making her look him in the eyes. "Where did she go?"

"Home. I think she went home. Oh, god, Spike, she's never going to talk to me again." At that Willow broke down and Spike could do nothing but wrap his arms around her until she was all cried out.

"I'm going to go after her."

"Shouldn't be too hard. She lives right next door," Willow joked through her last remaining tears.

"Someone must be feeling better," Spike said, softly, running his hand over her head in a comforting gesture.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

They looked to see Oz standing there, the usual stoic expression on his face but his body language told a different story. Willow moved from Spike and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and nodded into his shoulder.

"There was a bit of a misunderstanding," Spike tried to explain.

"Will?" Oz asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm a terrible friend," Willow cried. "She's going to hate me forever."

"No, she isn't, luv. She's just shook up is all."

"I'm thinking I missed out on a lot things," Oz ventured.

Spike nodded in agreement and said, "I'll talk to her. I'll fix this, Willow."

"You better or say good bye to your parts," she said, removing her head from Oz's shoulder to give him a small smile. He nodded in understanding and left.

"How about a drive down to Breaker's Woods?" Oz asked, pushing hair out his girlfriend's face.

"Okay...can we get some ice cream?"

"We can get anything you want."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike fell onto his bed, glad the day had finally come to an end. He grabbed his alarm clock and set it for 10. He grumbled at having to get up so early on a Saturday but Anne had insisted he do so and he had no other choice but to do it. He ran his hands over his face, scrubbing it roughly. He was tired, aggravated and worried. He couldn't find Buffy anywhere. If she was home, she didn't answer the door or the phone. No one had seen or heard from her, either. Willow was beside herself, taking all the blame for what had happened. Both Spike and Oz, she had told him, tried to convince her otherwise but she would have none of it.

"Ow."

Spike shot out of bed and went over to his window. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to open the screen but I slipped. A little help please," Buffy whined. He opened the screen and grabbed her hand, helping her inside. "Thanks."

"Good way to get yourself killed, Summers."

"Yeah, well, there's a ledge thingy. I didn't expect to slip..."

"Easy to do when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk!" Spike put his finger to his mouth to tell her to be quiet. "I'm not drunk!" she whispered loudly. He rolled his eyes and sat on his bed. She sat next to him and sighed. "I'm tired."

"Alcohol does that. What were you drinking?"

"Wine. Mom had wine. I had wine."

"Where is your mum?"

"Gallery trip. Very convenient for Buffy." She moved closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "How did you date that freak?"

Spike chuckled and said, "Sorry about her, luv. She's a bit-"

"Crazy?" she interrupted.

"One of many descriptive words," he told her. "You should really call Willow. She's worried."

"I'm not talking to her just yet. I'm dealing with you first." Buffy moved her head so her chin rested on his shoulder, she breathed in his scent and let it out, tickling Spike's neck with her breath. "You've been ignoring me."

"I seem to recall you doing the running whenever I came near."

"But you didn't follow," she whined. He smiled at that. "Aren't you supposed to come after me?"

"You've made it fairly clear that isn't how our friendship works."

"We're not friends."

"Which would be why I didn't follow," he told her, the tension in his voice evident.

She ran her finger down his cheek to his jaw. "You're pretty."

"What every man loves to hear," Spike muttered.

"I miss your curls and glasses," Buffy whispered, putting her head back on his shoulder. He felt his stomach flip and he closed his eyes to calm himself. "What are you and Willow up to?"

"What?" he asked, his eyes flying open.

She sat up straight and turned to sit Indian-style on his bed. "You, Willow...what are you two doing?"

"I don't know what you mean." He hoped that playing dumb was the right way to go.

"That ex-bitch of yours and what she said...did Willow tell you?" She didn't look at him. Instead, she picked at nothing on his comforter. Her brain was beginning to get less fuzzy and that didn't make her all that happy. She didn't know if she could have this discussion with her inhibitions back in their proper place.

"Where is this all coming from? Dru is a loon, which I'm sure you could tell. She thinks the stars tell her things."

"She told me that I glowed. Does that mean anything to you?"

Spike's jaw clenched in anger. "No."

She looked at him, surprised. "No?"

He rolled his eyes up and she giggled. "What are laughing for?"

"When you get mad, you're muscles in your face spaz out."

"And that's funny?"

"When I'm tipsy, it's funny."

"How much did you have to drink?"

"A glass. I'm a lightweight. I didn't want to be drunk and I'm not. I just needed to loosen myself up a bit."

"For what?"

"For this. To talk to you. I didn't want to be that other Buffy. I wanted to be the one that was in the backyard last week."

"You were tipsy then?" Spike asked, not believing her.

"Not in the literal sense," she answered quietly. "Do you like me?"

"You're not so bad. You can be right annoying at times but you have your moments."

"Wow, my heart's fluttering," she said, sarcastically.

"Yes."

"Huh?"

"Do I like you? Yes, I do."

"Oh," Buffy gasped, taken aback. "Good."

"Good? We've done nothing but fight for two years-"

"Yeah, but we can stop doing that, can't we?" Spike nodded, not able to find his voice. "So you and Willow-"

"You're not letting that go?"

"I can be just as tenacious as Will when it comes to things I know I'm certain about."

"That's obvious," he mumbled.

"Aha! I knew it." Buffy let her smile fade as she remembered that meant Willow had to have betrayed her. "Willow told you everything, didn't she?"

"No, not everything." He knew lying could create a problem but he didn't want this tentative beginning to ruin her relationship with Willow. He would not be the cause of that.

"I don't believe you."

"That's your prerogative."

She placed her hands flat on the bed and leaned forward, leaning into him. "Do you want something to happen...with us?"

"You're drunk," Spike said softly.

"No, I'm not. I have complete control over everything I do and say." She looked down, took a deep breath and lifted her gaze to meet his. "Don't you want me?"

He couldn't stand the look in her wide, glistening eyes. She looked so...he wasn't sure. There was something there that he didn't recognize, didn't know what it was. It was something deep in her, something she didn't let anyone else see. But he could see it. Whether it was the alcohol that allowed it to show through or just the moment, he could see something that he instinctively knew no one, not even Willow or her mother, had ever seen.

He lifted his hand, running the back of it down her cheek and offered her a small smile. "More than anything, Buffy."

She let the smile pass over her lips before she sat back on the bed, away from his touch. "If that's the case, you'll tell me everything. I won't be lied to."

"What's the point? Whatever happened, it got you here."

"Yeah, but I can just as easily leave again," she threatened lightly. "Spike, please, I want to know. I won't be mad." She saw his mouth drop open and his head tilt, a look of awe in his eyes. "What?"

"You called me Spike."

"Did I? Huh...I like it."

"Thought you hated it."

"Yeah, thought I hated you...looks like I was wrong about that, too." She had seen many faces of Spike, mostly all that pissed her off to no end but the look he had now was one she didn't think she'd ever seen before. Happiness. A great smile erupted on his face and his eyes twinkled in a completely different way than when he was being an ass. She decided she liked it. She wanted to see more of it. "So you'll tell me?"

"Sure, I'll tell you but I get to keep all my limbs and you have to call Willow first thing in the morning."

"We have a deal," she said with a smile, holding out her hand. He slowly placed his hand in hers and she could feel the goose bumps rise on her skin from his fingers grazing over her palm. She wondered if he felt it to or if it was all in her head. She ran the tip of her index finger along the inside of his hand and he sighed. She smirked. It wasn't just in her head; he noticed it as well.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Buffy announced. Spike's eyes went wide and she smiled. As she leaned towards him, she said, "You have about five seconds to stop me." When Spike made no move to do so, she licked her lips and her breath hitched when she saw him open his mouth again. It looked like he was about to devour her and she couldn't wait. "Is your mother going to interrupt us again?"

"Buffy..." he breathed out in frustration. She was toying with him, whether she was aware it or not, she was. Her lips only a mere inch away, her wine-tinged breath on his face and her scent enveloping him, that perfume that always sent him into a tailspin whether she was attached to it or not. She moved one leg over his lap and straddled him. She ran her fingers through his hair and sighed.

"It's so soft. You'd think with all that gunk in it and the bleach, it would make it coarse." She barely placed her lips on his cheek and he felt his lower half spring to life. She moved her mouth along his jaw, continuing the torture. She moaned in contentment and he surprised himself with the amount of self-control he was in possession of.

"You smell nice," she whispered, nuzzling his neck. She sat up and looked into his eyes. "This could change everything."

"You think highly of yourself if you think one little kiss could change-" He was cut off by her smashing her lips to his. She lightened the pressure when she was sure he wasn't going to continue talking. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip and up along the opening of his mouth. She bit his lip gently and he moaned in response. Spike's hands wrapped around her back and gently massaged up and down, causing her to shiver against him. She absently grinded herself down in his lap and he pulled away, breathing heavily.

"We're done kissing?" Buffy asked with a pout.

"Not even close," he said, swooping in to recapture her lips.

++++++++++


	3. 3

**Chapter 3**

Willow stood outside of the door, raising her hand and putting it down so many times, she had lost count. She didn't know what Buffy was going to say to her. She was thrilled that her friend had called and asked her to come over but now that she was there, she was petrified. She didn't know what to expect. She didn't even know if Buffy had spoken to Spike. If there was one thing Willow Rosenberg didn't like, it was not knowing what was going on. She took another deep breath, raised her hand yet again and jumped when the door flew open.

"You've been out here for ten minutes," Buffy told her, trying to contain her smile.

"I'm nervous."

"Why would you be nervous? Have you done something that would make you nervous to be here?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I was just trying to help and you were being so stubborn-"

"You know when apologizing, it's best to not insult the person you're apologizing to," Buffy interrupted. She walked out the door and put her arms around Willow. Willow exhaled the breath she had been holding and smiled, hugging her friend back. "It's okay, Will. But you're going to come in here and we're going to talk about this whole thing, okay?"

"Absolutely," Willow agreed enthusiastically. They moved into the foyer and stopped when they reached the doorway to the living room. Willow's mouth dropped when she saw Spike sitting on the couch. He gave her a small, not all too reassuring smile and she sighed. "We're all going to-"

"Sit and chat," Buffy told her. She knew she should feel bad about the amount of joy she was experiencing at the conspirators discomfort but she just couldn't. Buffy took a seat in the chair across from the couch and motioned for Willow to join Spike. "So, when exactly did the two of you start Operation Spuffy?" Off Willow and Spike's confused looks, she added, "You know, Spike...Buffy...Spuffy." They both nodded and opened their mouths in a silent 'oh' and Buffy rolled her eyes. "Anyway, when did this begin?"

"Two weeks ago," Willow answered, quietly.

"Two weeks? I think I gave in way too quickly, in that case," Buffy muttered. Willow looked up from the floor, her eyes wide in surprise. "And how did this all come about?"

"Willow came to me the day I kissed you at lunch."

"Okay, Willow, how much information have you given him?"

"Uh...not that much..."

"Willow," Buffy warned.

"Okay, okay! All of it. I told him all of it. Please, just shun me. I'm not fit to be called friend. I know what I did was wrong but I was only trying to help because the two of you were just refusing to see what the rest of us could and I tried talking to you about it but you were all 'he makes me want to vomit' so I thought I'd give Spike a try-"

"Willow, breathe. You're not passing out before I get through with you," Buffy said, her tone of voice light.

"I made you want to vomit?" Spike asked.

"That's an exaggeration," Buffy backpedaled. "That statement has been taken out of context."

"Is it, Red?"

"Uh-"

"Willow, do remember that you're **my** friend and the balance of said friendship is already teetering due to your back-handedness so think really hard on how you want to answer that," Buffy jumped in.

"Oi, you can't blackmail her with friendship!"

"I most certainly can, William. I'm the hurt party here. I get to set the rules," Buffy argued.

Spike stood up and pointed at Buffy. "You're a piece of work, Summers."

"Thank you," Buffy said, brightly.

"I didn't mean it as a compliment, you bint."

"Again, I say my rules and I took it as one." Buffy furrowed her brow and got up from her chair. "What exactly is a bint, may I ask?"

"Not a compliment," Spike leered.

"Hey, guys," Willow tried to interrupt.

"You think you can insult me, twice, and get away with it?" Buffy asked, her anger growing.

"I thought you took the first one as a positive."

"I've changed my mind. I have the ability to do that as well."

"Oh, right, because you're the great Buffy Summers and never mind what anyone else is doing or feeling or-"

"I take the people that I like into account. That, fortunately for me, does not include you!"

"You seemed to like me just fine last night."

"I was drunk," Buffy justified, weakly.

"You were drunk?" Willow asked, knowing she would be ignored.

"Ah, I get it. Now that that it's over, we'll just go back to playing these same, tired games. Well, you do that. I'm done," Spike said.

"I was done as soon as your lips left mine. I'm still reeling from the displeasure of it all," Buffy snapped back.

"Displeasure? You were practically purring in my lap so don't hand me that bullshit, Summers. You were begging for it."

"Begging?!?" Buffy screamed.

"Yeah, that's right. Begging," Spike agreed smugly. He stepped around the coffee table and stood in front of her, their bodies only a couple of inches apart. "And if you think I won't get a phone call from Willow later on, wanting to implement Plan C, you're even more of a chuffer than I thought you were!"

"Sitting right here!" Willow yelled, waving her arms. Buffy and Spike looked at her briefly and turned back to stare at each other. "Why am I even here?"

"You are by far the most annoying individual to ever be placed on this planet. And if you think for one second that Willow will continue this farce, you're the chuffer!"

Spike barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "You don't even know what means."

"I don't have to know, as long as it gets my point across."

"I really wish you two would stop arguing," Willow said, meekly. "This isn't what I wanted to happen. It's not like I expected little heart doodles but I thought you would at least stop arguing."

"I told you, Will, there's too much friction. He's an ass...and he can't kiss for shit."

Spike's mouth dropped open. "I give as good I get so if I was a bit unresponsive it was because you were like a cold fish. Just like you are every other minute."

"Oh, no, you're not blaming this on me. You're whole stiff-upper lip British thing has apparently carried over to your kissing abilities. You're supposed to move your mouth, you know. Open up a bit, not hold your lips together."

"I was trying to keep that prying tongue of yours away," Spike retorted.

"I don't really need to be here for this part of the discussion," Willow said, getting up.

"Sit," Buffy ordered and Willow did with a grumble. Turning her attention back to Spike, she said, "Are you inferring that I overuse my tongue?"

"And she catches on," Spike muttered. "Liberal use of your tongue would be fine...for other activities but I don't fancy almost choking on it."

"Well, too bad for you that you won't ever experience those other activities. Believe me, I've had no complaints."

"That's not what I heard the football team saying after gym the other day."

Buffy sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes narrowed. "Are you sure they weren't talking about you and your lack of," she looked down, "assets?"

"You seemed to have no problem drooling over said assets when I was glistening in the sun the other week. A bloke can't even do a spot of gardening without being fawned over-"

Buffy turned to Willow and said, "You told him about the glistening?"

"And lickable," Spike added, running his tongue between his teeth.

"And that?" Buffy shouted.

"Well, I-" Willow began.

"Don't go blaming Willow because you have no self control when it comes to me. It's understandable."

"If I didn't have self control, you would be pushing up daisies right now, William."

"You don't have the stones!"

"Oh! I so have the...stones!" Buffy grabbed the back of Spike's head and brought him down to her lips.

"Um, okay..." Willow said, confused. She looked at them, greedily kissing each other and shook her head. "I'm just going to...yeah." Willow got off the couch and went into the kitchen.

"Mmm," Buffy moaned. "Spike lips. Lips of Spike." She kissed him again, licking her lips after.

"Where'd she go?" Spike asked, with a nod to the couch.

"Huh...think we went overboard?"

"Thought that was the point," he said, nuzzling her neck.

"Well, it wasn't undeserved. That tongue comment was a little uncalled for, however."

"You insulted my kissing," Spike explained.

"I'm not really a cold fish, am I?" Buffy asked. He saw that look flash through her eyes again.

He tightened his grip on her waist and pushed her into him. "Does that feel like I think you're a cold fish?"

Buffy tried to clear her lust-addled brain by shaking her head and realized that it wasn't working. She had never been made into a mush by a kiss. It had definitely thrown her for a loop. Not twenty-four hours ago, she was ducking him at lunch time and now, she was practically mauling him in her living room. "I better find Willow."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Surprisingly, no," she told him with a smile. "You're dangerous, you know."

"Meaning?" Spike asked.

"Meaning that all I want to do right now is liberally use my tongue."

Spike's mouth fell open but he quickly recovered, turning his shock into a cocky look. "I have no objections."

"I bet," Buffy mumbled, smiling. "Take a seat. I'm going to go talk to her. There's been enough fun and games for the last two weeks, I think." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and he watched her go. He happily threw himself on the couch, thinking that if he were to smile any wider, his face would split in two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey," Buffy greeted as she took a seat on the stool next to Willow.

"Hey."

"So...about what happened in there-"

"It was done for my benefit, right?" Willow interrupted.

"Payback's a bitch as the saying goes."

"I am sorry, you know."

"I know and I think I was angry for all of an hour. And then I actually kissed him and it was forgotten quickly."

"Are you guy's a couple now or what?"

"It's only been a few hours, Will. Nothing's even been discussed."

"Probably because your lips have been fused together," Willow joked.

Buffy laughed and gave Willow a light swat to the arm. "Well, we do have two years of pent up frustrations to get out of our systems."

"You didn't...sleep with him, right?"

"Oh god, no. Just good old fashioned making out. I do know we're not looking to broadcast it right away. We're still in the beginning stages of things so can you not say anything? Even to Oz?"

"I won't breathe a word of it, even if torture is involved."

"I can't believe you told him about the electrifying comment..."

"His morale was down, it was the only thing I could think of," Willow tried to explain.

"It's okay. Just really embarrassing."

"Did you ever find out how his ex knew about that?"

"According to him, she thinks she's psychic and after yesterday, I would have to agree. It was freaky. I still can't get him to fess up to the glowing comment."

"Glowing comment?" Willow asked, confused.

"She said that he said I glowed. Weird, right? But he said he didn't know what she was talking about."

"You don't believe him?"

"That would be a big no. What does that mean? I glow? Glow how? Just an odd thing to say about someone, isn't it?"

"I think it's romantic. You glow...makes you sound all ethereal or something."

"Oh, yeah, I'm a goddess," Buffy snorted. "I've been nothing but a bitch to him for two years because I liked the way he looked and didn't want to acknowledge the fluttering feeling in my stomach every time he came near me."

"I knew it!" Willow cheered.

"Yeah, you're always right, blah blah blah..."

"So what now?"

"Now? You go home and I go attack him." Willow looked at her with a smug smile but her wide-eyes gave away her shock. "Hey, it's a plan. A good plan, even."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike pulled his mouth away from Buffy's and rested his head on his pillow. She moved towards him again but he tightened the grip on her waist, pushing her a bit to stop. He saw the shock pass through her eyes and he hated that he felt bad but something had to be done and now was the time. She wouldn't be able to stop him from getting what he had to say off of his chest. No matter how much she pouted and tried to grind against him.

"Luv, let's go out."

She looked confused and then shrugged. "Okay, but grab a blanket because grass can be icky."

"Speaking from personal experience?"

"Um, I-"

"Never mind. Don't particularly want to know," he interrupted. "And I wasn't talking about snogging outside."

"Color me confused again."

"On a date, Buffy," he said, quietly.

"I see..."

"Your reaction is a great comfort," he grunted as he tried to unwrap his legs from hers.

"Ow!" Buffy exclaimed when he his foot clipped her shin harder than he meant to. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get away from you."

"Do you have to kick me to do that?" He mumbled an apology and finally released his limbs from hers. He stood beside the bed, hands on his waist and Buffy thought he never looked more gorgeous. As much as she wanted to just grab him and yank him back to the bed, she had the feeling he was in a talking sort of mood. She kneeled on the bed in front of him, her eye level at his lips and moved a bit closer so they were only inches a part. She heard him take in a deep breath and she put her head down to smile. "Talk."

He smirked at her command and looked at her bowed head. "You have to look at me."

"I don't want to."

He never knew a simple statement such as that could send a pain as sharp as the one that had just shot through his chest. "Why?"

"Because you'll look at me with those blue eyes and I'll be a willing slave, ready to do whatever at your beckon call," she answered quietly.

He put a finger under her chin, lifting her head up. "That would be a satisfying statement if I wasn't so mad." He offered her a small smile, which she returned, before he continued. "It's been a month-"

"I know. I thought things were fine. You weren't complaining."

"Things are fine, grand, actually...except I don't like feeling the way I do." She furrowed her brow, hurt in her eyes. Seeing that, he quickly went on, "I feel like I'm a secret. That what we do is fine as long as it stays between the two of us."

"No-" Buffy began.

"Yes," Spike cut in. "It'd be all well and good if I didn't want more than that but I do. I want it all. I want to hold your hand at school, I want to be able to brush that pesky piece of hair that always falls in your face away without worrying if anyone saw me do it and I want to tell people. Someone besides Willow, who you know this is killing." Buffy smiled and nodded. "Don't you want...?"

She settled back on the bed, looked at him briefly before opening her mouth to say nothing. She closed it again and told her yes shouting heart and body to shut up. "Spike...I thought we were...just having fun."

"Get out."

"What?" she asked, her voice hitching in panic. Dizziness washed over her and she closed her eyes to steady her slightly swaying form. "You, you want me-"

"To go, yes. I'll help you." He grabbed her shoes and then her arm, pulling her off the bed. He held onto her as they walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs to his front door. She was too stunned to say anything and by not saying anything, it fueled Spike on. He roughly gave her her shoes, opened the door and guided her out. She turned to look at him, the look on her face giving him pause but he knew what he had to do. "And don't come crawling in my window drunk, either."

Finally finding her voice, she said, "Spike, this is-"

"Save it, Summers," he snapped. She flinched like she had been struck and he softened his demeanor. "If I can't have you...all of you...I don't want any of you." He closed the door before she said or did anything else. His forehead banged against it and he sighed. He could feel it coming, but he was fighting it for all he was worth. The burning behind his eyes, the tightness of his chest, the ragged intake of breath...he was not going to break down over another woman.

As Spike was doing his best not to cry, that was all Buffy found herself doing as she stood on the porch outside his door. The first tear fell when he shut the door and when the finality of it hit her, she let all the tears fall. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. She had meant to say something, she had wanted to say something. She simply didn't know how. His intensity scared her and she didn't know how to react when confronted with it. Letting her fear take her over once again, she was on the outside, wanting so desperately to go back in. She stepped closer to the door, placing her hand on it and wishing that it would open up and he would be there, ready to sweep her back into his arms. She waited and hoped and nothing happened. Knowing she could either stand there forever, go home or go back in and tell him what she couldn't manage to before, she made a decision.

She turned the knob, pushed the door open and poked her head through the space. She quickly looked around and softly called out his name. Not seeing anyone or getting a response, she entered the house and shut the door. She quickly made her way up the stairs to his bedroom, smiling slightly at the loud music blaring from his closed door. She didn't bother to knock before she entered and she found him lying face down on his bed, a pillow over his head. She walked over to the bed and slid in next to him. She felt his body jump slightly but he made no other move to acknowledge her presence. Buffy moved as close to him as she could get and draped her arm across his naked back. She absently ran her finger tips over his skin, letting the calm that the simple movements provided wash over her. She placed a kiss on his bare arm before moving her head under it. The pillow covered the top of her head and he hadn't moved his arm to a more comfortable position. It was currently lying across her throat and her first thought was that her little attempt to get even closer to him failed miserably, which quickly led to the fact that she could suffocate if she didn't move his arm away. She gently lifted it, moved her body up a bit and placed his arm below her breasts. She lay there for a few minutes, listening to Aaron Lewis contemplate the depressing state of life in general and lazily scratched his arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Spike mumbled into her ear. She shivered at the low, roughness of his voice and his hot breath against her skin.

"We weren't done." Spike went to say something but she stopped him by continuing, "You didn't let me get a word in. You just took my silence as gospel and I had something to say."

"Maybe I don't want to hear it."

"Maybe I don't give a shit. I'm telling you." Spike moved the pillow and rolled over onto his back, grabbed the remote to the stereo and turned the music down. "Thank you."

"Be quick about it. I have things to do."

"Like what?"

"That's none of your concern, now is it?" Spike asked, bitingly.

"Stop being an asshole, Spike! I'm trying to do this and you're making it impossible by continuing to prattle on and you're really making me want to just hit you repeatedly and leave rather than tell you that I don't ** want** to leave. That I'll get on the phone right now and call every single person I have ever met and tell them that Spike Alden is my boyfriend and that despite the fact that he is completely right about what he said earlier, he doesn't know me well enough to just fly off the handle yet and you have to give me time to adjust to certain things, okay?" Buffy finished, gasping in breath.

Spike's eyes had gone wide during her diatribe but by the time she ended, his mouth had formed into his classic smirk and his disposition had loosened. "Did you say prattle?"

"Maybe..." Buffy said, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Did you say boyfriend?"

"Yes," she answered quietly. "Spike, do you want to go out with me?"

As an answer, he wrapped an arm around the small of her back and rolled her. She put her leg over his and moved closer to him, half her body on top of his. His hand left her back and both hands cupped her face, burying themselves in her hair. He moved her mouth to his and tried to convey his feelings by way of kissing. His words seemed to put her on edge and this was the only other way he could think to get his point across. She moaned against his mouth, her hand sliding down to his side, gripping him tighter to her.

"Is that a yes?" she asked against his mouth. She giggled when he could only shake his head and began to kiss her again. Her hands moved to the button of his jeans and unlatched it. She was startled when Spike's hand grabbed hers, stilling her movements. "What? What is it?"

"Date first, luv. We've already blown the first kiss. Let's at least do the date and the rest properly."

"You're such a hopeless romantic," she teased. She wrinkled her brow and asked, "We blew the first kiss?"

He let out a chuckle and shook his head. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, pet. But as far as date, kiss, sex goes, we've done things a bit backwards with the kiss, date and, well, you know what I'm saying," he finished shyly.

"Lots of kissing."

"Lots and lots-"

"Of snogging," she giggled and he joined her.

"Right so I want to have a date or hopefully more than one before I get my leg-over with you," he explained.

"But I have my leg over you. See?" He smiled and shook his head. "You not going to call me daft or a bint, are you?"

"No...and bint isn't as bad as I made it sound that day. I was only trying to t you off even more."

"Well, it worked and I'll be able to carry the look on Will's face for the rest of my life." She gave him a quick kiss and smiled. "Thanks for that."

"Anytime, luv, anytime," he said, stretching out beside her.

"When will your mom be home?" Buffy asked, slightly tickling him as she ran her fingers up and down his side.

"Not 'til seven."

"So we have plenty of time for a-"

"A bit of the old slap and tickle?"

"Even **I** know what that really means," she laughed. "I was going to say nap, smart ass."

"Oh, yeah, that, too. I am fairly knackered. You wear me out."

"Ah, what every girl loves to hear."

++++++++++


	4. 4

**Chapter 4**

Spike knocked on Buffy's door and took a deep breath. He had no idea why he was nervous. He'd been with her for a little over a month now. First date jitters should not be happening. It was ridiculous, really. But here he was outside her door, shifting from foot to foot, his hands knotted together behind his back and his heart was racing.

"William!" Joyce greeted. He looked startled to see her so Joyce tried to reassure him by smiling. "Come on in." After he entered and she closed the door, she asked, "Do you prefer Spike? You must if you've changed it. Forgive my not remembering."

"It's fine, Mrs. Summers. Whatever you want to call me is fine."

"I'll call you Spike if you call me Joyce."

"Okay," he agreed shyly.

"Hey," Buffy said, coming down the stairs. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"I just got here," Spike told her, averting his eyes quickly as he didn't want her to think he was staring. It's not like he had never seen her in a dress before. In fact, he saw her in it last week at school and admired it but now it was here, touchable and tangible, not just some distant fascination. Seeing her like this was simply different than any other time because it was for the date; for him. He couldn't help but smile.

She nudged her shoulder against his arm, smiling. "Something funny?" He shook his head and she shrugged. She turned to Joyce and said, "I don't know when we'll be back. Not too late, though, okay?"

"No later than one," Joyce told her.

"One? Really?" Buffy asked excitedly.

"It's Spike...I know where he lives if you don't come home," Joyce teased. "Have fun, be careful...all those usual mom-isms."

"One o'clock curfew because I'm going out with you," Buffy said as she closed her door. "If I had known that would happen, I would have done this a long time ago."

"So you're just using me for a curfew?"

"And some other things..."

He opened the car door for her and then got in on the driver's side. "I didn't know what you would want to eat. Mum tells me there's a good French place hidden away off of Main but I wasn't sure-"

"Let's do the relaxing dinner instead of the overly romantic, bound to uncomfortable one," Buffy broke in.

"Uncomfortable?" he asked, confused.

"I don't know...it would seem like we're playing grown-up or something. We're barely eighteen...little French bistros are kind of beyond me at this point."

"What do you suggest?"

"How about Harry's? Good pizza and other things, then we can go see Oz playing at the Bronze."

"So no two of us activities, then?" Spike asked, a bit disappointed.

"I thought we'd do the date thing first..."

"That's not what I meant-"

"I know," she interrupted with a giggle. "We get some food, listen to some good music and then I have a plan for just the two of us."

"You're going to tell me?"

"Nope! It's a surprise. It borders on lame but it's just an idea I had."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you have a hat or something?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah..." He got off the bed and rummaged in his closet. "Here you go."

"Baseball hat? I don't remember ever seeing you wear a baseball hat."

"My dad...took me to a game once. I think it's against the law to not buy massive amounts of useless shit when you go."

"I know what you're talking about. My dad used to take me to the ice show."

"Like figure skating?"

"Brian Boitano can change your life," she said with laugh. She put the little pieces of folded paper into the hat and shook it around. "You want to go first?"

"What's the point of this again?"

"We don't know each other...at all, really. This is how we're going to start."

Spike sighed. "You go first. And I have to answer it, too, right?"

"Yup." She put her hand in the hat and pulled out a piece of paper. After she opened it, she read aloud, "Why did you go back to England? Oops...I guess I can't really answer that."

"Why'd you put a question in there that you knew you couldn't answer?" he asked, his voice light.

She smiled and shrugged. "I really wanted to know."

"Fine, answer this instead. Why'd you move to Sunnydale?"

"Mom and Dad broke up...we had to go somewhere."

"I thought this was an exercise in getting to know the other better." Buffy nodded. "Well, what you told me, I had already figured out."

"I think Dad was cheating...I never heard anything concrete, but I think he was a little too fond of his secretary. They were fighting all the time, I wasn't even in the running for best daughter of the year and Dawnie was just...she got nothing but ignored. Makes me forgive some of her more annoying attributes."

"Okay...I went back to get away from here. Obvious answer, I know but there isn't a whole lot to it. My father split and as much as I wanted to stay here with Mum, I wanted to get as far away as I could get. I went and stayed with my grandmother and tried to escape but then I only ended up wanting to escape being there."

"Did you want to come back?"

"That's not part of the question," he joked and she rolled her eyes in that cute way of hers. "Yes and no. After Dru, yes...Had to get the hell out of there. But I wasn't looking forward to coming back here and dealing with a weepy Anne and all the manly responsibilities because Dad skipped out."

"Your mom seems to be doing really well, though. Our mom's spent a lot of time together over the summer. I think they started some sort of 'Left Wives Club'," she told him with a small smile. His hand cupped her chin, his thumb absently ran over her bottom lip. She quickly licked her lips, the tip of her tongue hitting his thumb, and waited for the kiss. She knew she looked surprised when he put his hand back on the bed and didn't make any other move but that. Then she smiled. He was behaving. They were behaving. They could actually sit and talk without pawing each other within minutes. Maybe they could do this, after all.

"My turn?" Spike asked. His smile left his face as he read the question to himself.

"See that's why I just read it. What does it say?"

"Uh...how many people have you slept with? What is with your bloody questions, Summers?"

"It's a valid question. If we were to...I mean, when we...or whatever...look, when that happens, I'd like to know..." Buffy stuttered, slightly embarrassed.

"None."

"What?" she asked, even though she had heard him.

"Zero."

"You and Dru..."

"No."

"Why?"

Spike sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"But...you've never and I've...None? Really?" She could feel her face flush and breathing was a little harder than before.

"Truly. Now you."

"No way," Buffy told him.

"Answer the question. You made me, I'm making you." When she still didn't answer, he said, "I know you and Angel...He used to talk about it."

"With you?" she asked surprised. "I didn't even think you knew one another."

"We didn't. Locker room talk."

"He used to talk about us in the locker room? Was he bragging? Giving details?"

"I shouldn't have said anything. It's not important-"

"It sure as hell is important. God, I can't believe him! That's just...grrrr!" Buffy threw herself back on the bed and sighed. "How could you not have said anything to me?"

"We weren't exactly friends, Buffy."

"But you can sit there and listen to him talk bullshit and not think 'hmm, Buffy might not like this'?"

"I'm sure you would have been like sunshine if I told you the things Angel had said," Spike scoffed.

"What kind of things?" Buffy asked quietly.

"I don't think you want-"

"What kind of things?" she repeated, strongly.

"Pet, the past is the past, right? Leave it there."

"No! He's lying...whatever he said, it was a lie."

"So you never...?"

"We did...once. It's a...I don't want to talk about that tonight. Let's just drop this. Shouldn't be talking about these things on a first date anyway."

"So, none and one. It should be interesting," Spike joked.

"Two," she corrected softly.

"Oh."

"This was a stupid idea. I'm going to go." She quickly got off the bed and grabbed her shoes. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"For...I don't know. I just am."

"Let's finish. You don't have to be home for another hour."

"You think the other eight questions will be that awkward?"

"We can hope," he said with a smirk. She rolled her eyes and sighed before sitting back on the bed. "Your turn."

Buffy pulled out a piece of paper, read it and smiled. "Why did you hate me? Wow, subtle."

"Well, I try."

"Hate's a strong word. I didn't hate you. I didn't even dislike you...that much. Sure, that's what I told everyone because it just made things easier."

"I don't follow, Buffy."

"You move here from England, right? I'm just this stupid California girl and you're all bookish and brilliant and you have an accent that pretty much confirms that," Spike laughed and shook his head, "and when we went over to meet you all, you couldn't even say hello which really pissed me off. Then all my friends embraced you and that made me kind of angry. It's all completely irrational."

"Sounds like," he agreed and she playfully slapped his shoulder. "I couldn't say hello."

"Couldn't, wouldn't, whatever-"

"No, I mean I wanted to. In case you failed to notice, I was fairly shy when we moved here. I didn't exactly talk to girls. Most probably viewed me like you do-"

"Did."

He smiled. "Fine, did. I thought you were the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

Buffy blushed and ducked her head down. "Thanks. I thought you were very cute. Boys in glasses..."

"I'll wear them more often, then." They looked at each other and smiled.

"You have to answer, too. I'm not the only one who's going to look like an idiot for acting the way I did," Buffy told him.

"Didn't I just?" She shook her head and he shrugged. "I followed your lead. You didn't seem to like me at all and so I thought that I shouldn't bother trying. Once I started hanging about with your lot, you were so easily rattled and annoyed by everything I said...I ran with it. I was determined to be the most annoying person you would ever meet."

"Job well done, then." She held the hat out to him and he picked.

"Why did you break up?"

"You actually asked that? Huh, I'm surprised. You definitely have to answer," Buffy said, a bit too cheerfully for Spike's taste.

"Yeah, I know. Serves me right for being so bloody nosey. She cheated on me."

"You couldn't have been together that long and she cheated?"

"I met Dru about a week after I went over and we were together the whole summer until right before I came home. So, yeah, she didn't wait too long and it gets a bloke wondering if she was like that the entire time." Spike gestured for her to answer and she took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

"After Angel and I...well, you know...after that, things just fell apart. He became mean, said I was bad in bed and any other hurtful thing you can think of. And when I would get angry enough and try to break it off, he'd do something nice to make me forget. That's how it went for the last six months. Back and forth, back and forth. He told me he was moving before he started school to become more familiar with the area and I told him to have fun." She shrugged after she finished, trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. She turned on the bed and faced him, tucking one leg under and stretching the other out.

"So that's how it ended?"

"Pretty much. He tried to keep his hooks in me but by the middle of the summer, I told him to leave me alone. I was surprised that he actually listened but I'm not complaining. He's gone for good."

"Why would you put up with that?"

"I loved him...and I thought he was right."

"So is that reasoning behind number two?" Spike asked, resting his hand on her outstretched leg. It had been hurting him not to touch her in some way. He didn't want her to think that they couldn't just sit and talk but in that moment, he had the overwhelming need to feel her, even if it was in the smallest way. He was pleased when she didn't move away or tense up at his touch and he continued to run his thumb lightly over her skin while his other fingers rested softly against her calf.

"Yeah, but that's still a story for another time," Buffy reiterated. She reached for another question and read it. "One of mine. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Jesus, Summers," Spike mumbled.

Buffy flashed him a large smile. "They can't all be personal, you know."

"What do you want to be?"

She laughed and said, "I don't have a clue."

He nodded in agreement. "Neither do I."

"Oh, thank God. Willow has this seven year plan and it's rather irksome." Buffy glanced at the clock and frowned. "Time for one more."

He read the question and quirked an eyebrow. "What is with your questions?"

"Is that rhetorical?"

"If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?" Spike scratched his head with his free hand, wondering if he should be a gentleman and not answer honestly or if he should just take the chance. "I'd be kissing you." Well, he never liked to lie anyway.

Buffy's breath hitched in her throat from her surprise. She didn't think he would take the bait. Even with the last month and the grope-fest that was them, he would still be shy about certain things. Buffy smiled and touched his hand; the hand that had been driving her crazy for the last five minutes with its light caress.

"Your turn, pet."

"Ditto."

"Looks like we're on the same wavelength, then."

"Looks like," she said. Her face lit up and her lips formed in a goofy grin as he leaned towards her. "Do you feel abnormally nervous or is it just me?"

"Bloody hell, Buffy. Don't you ever not say anything?"

"I was only comm-" She was cut off by his lips closing in on her mouth. She obviously knew he was moving closer and closer to her, she knew it was going to happen but she still made a noise of surprise when his lips found hers. There was that bit of time right as their lips touched that she felt her stomach twist around and the butterflies kick themselves into high gear. The happy thought of this is what a real kiss does to one's body floated through her mind and she smiled into the kiss. He inched his body closer to hers and she moved her leg from under her and placed it across his lap. Her hands went to his hair, languidly running through it. His hand moved higher on her leg, dipping under the hem of her skirt and he squeezed her thigh lightly, which caused her to gasp. She hooked the back of her foot into the side of his leg and pulled herself closer to him. Buffy slowly twisted herself onto his lap and locked her feet behind his back.

"Spike, are you still oh my god!" Anne cried out when she walked into her son's room. Buffy and Spike stopped kissing immediately but out of shock, fear and a little more than a lot of embarrassment, neither moved or unwrapped themselves.

"I...I should have knocked. Lovely to see you, Buffy," Anne stuttered awkwardly before she quickly turned and left the room, closing the door as she went.

They both let out the breath that they had been holding and leaned their foreheads against each other.

"I better get going," Buffy said, reluctantly. She didn't want to move. She wanted to stay here where it was warm and surprisingly comfortable.

"Don't want to be late. It might ruin future curfews," he teased as he lightly kissed the tip of her nose.

"Yeah..." Buffy bit her lip nervously and asked, "Is your mom going to be mad or not let me come over anymore?"

"I'll talk to her. It'll be fine," Spike reassured her, although he really didn't know what was going to happen. "I'll walk you."

"It's right there, Spike. I think I can manage."

He tightened his hold on her waist and pushed them off the bed. Her legs squeezed around him harder and he involuntarily groaned. Buffy's eyes went wide and she felt this odd feeling sweep through her. Pride or something pretty damn close to it. She wasn't exactly sure what it was. It was new, she knew that for certain.

"What you smirking at?" Spike asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Nothing. I should probably unhook myself from you."

"Yeah, don't think Mum would fancy me walking you back home this way."

"She's no fun," Buffy grumbled and Spike laughed softly. She unwrapped her legs and slowly slid the rest of the way off his body. She slipped her sandals back on her feet and placed her hand around his. "Ready?"

He looked at their hands and could only nod his head. They made their way down the stairs, both grateful that Anne was nowhere to be seen and walked across the lawn to Buffy's house. He walked her to the front door and she leaned against it. She moved their linked hands back and forth out of nervousness. She wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"Tomorrow night...can I take you somewhere?" Spike asked, tentatively.

"I have to work at the gallery until seven. After that?" She saw the small smile appear on his lips before it left and he nodded his head. "Where are we going?"

"Not telling."

"You're not planning on chopping me into bits and leaving me somewhere, are you?"

"Bugger, how'd you know?" She loved it when he smirked at her. "So...I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Count on it," she answered. She grabbed his shirt and yanked him down to her mouth. She felt his lips move into a smile before he kissed her back and the fluttering feeling reappeared. It was a nice feeling; a strange combination of nervousness and arousal. When it began to spread from the pit of her stomach, she moaned. She found herself wondering if this was normal. She hadn't had this before or if it had been, it was too dull for her too notice. This shot through her and she welcomed it, wanted it, wanted more.

"Buffy, is that oh my god."

Buffy and Spike broke apart and she spun around. She gave a nervous smile to her mother and turned to Spike, "Um, I'll see you tomorrow?" Spike nodded, turned on his heel and quickly walked home. Facing her mother again, she said a meek "hey" before walking past her into the house.

"No, no, missy," Joyce said, grabbing her daughter's arm. "Sit. We're talking."

"I wasn't late," Buffy tried to reason lamely. Off Joyce's look, she rolled her eyes, sighed and headed to the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spike, come here and sit a spell with me." Spike rolled his eyes and went and sat on the couch with his mother. "I think we need to talk about something."

"Mum, it wasn't what it looked-"

"I'm not mad, dear. I'm surprised. I didn't think you liked each other very much," Anne began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We didn't," Buffy explained. "It's...new."

"New? Do you usually almost devour new friends on our front porch?" Joyce asked, sweetly but not masking the sarcasm that was there.

"It was only a kiss..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A kiss? Buffy straddling your lap is just a kiss?" Anne asked.

"See, you just happened to walk in at the wrong moment. There's a good explanation for that," Spike stalled.

"I'm eagerly waiting to hear it."

"She asked me to crack her back for her and so to do that...I had to get a hold around her back so I could you know," Spike explained, putting his arms in a circle in front of him and moving it towards him. Anne raised an eyebrow in much the same manner that he always did and he added, "Completely innocent."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Granted, my shock made my vision a little hazy but it didn't look that innocent, Buffy."

"It was a kiss!" Buffy exclaimed, thoroughly exasperated and tired of discussing this topic.

"Raise your voice again and you will be coming straight home after work tomorrow."

"Sorry," Buffy mumbled.

"How serious is this thing with you and William?" Joyce asked, resting her hand on her daughter's shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not very, Mum. It was our first date."

Anne let out a pfft sound and Spike clenched his jaw. "On your first date, a date I'm still surprised that you went on due to the fact that the two of you have done nothing but bicker for the last two years, you...crack her back?"

"Yeah?" Spike replied. Where was that hole in the ground when you needed it?

"William..." Anne warned.

"You caught on to my deception. I wasn't cracking her back. Good on you."

"You will watch that tone with me."

"Sorry," Spike mumbled. Spike sighed again and decided the best thing to do was to be honest. "The snogging isn't new, just the date."

Anne's mouth dropped open and Spike quickly regretted his decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let me get this straight, Buffy. The two of you have been doing whatever it is that you've been doing but tonight is the first time that you've gone on an actual date?"

"Yes."

"Are you sleeping with him?" Joyce asked, trying to remain calm.

"No, I'm not."

"Not yet."

Biting the bullet, Buffy said, "No, not yet."

Joyce's mouth dropped open and Buffy quickly regretted her decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike looked at his alarm clock. 3:30 a.m. and he wasn't the least bit tired. Buffy's light was out and he wondered how she could sleep if she got even half of the lecture that he had. That question was answered when he heard the scraping of the screen being lifted. He smiled and got out of bed and lifted it up the rest of the way.

"You're right. Much easier when you don't have an alcohol brain," Buffy said as she climbed through. "Were you sleeping?"

"Not at all. Actually lying here thinking how you could sleep," Spike told her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Not really. A bit of a lecture but Mum can be cool when she wants. You?"

"Big lecture all about the pros and cons of dating and sex and kissing on the porch. It wasn't fun."

"Oh, we were telling the truth, then? I think we got the same lecture," he amended with a chuckle.

"Is there a book or do you think they got together and discussed prior?"

Spike shrugged and asked, "Are we still going out tomorrow?"

"Yup," Buffy answered, stifling a yawn. She looked at him shyly and they smiled at each other. "I didn't think I was tired..."

"Get home. I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her softly and when he pulled away, Buffy pulled him back to her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you think there's more to this than our lips?"

Buffy smiled and put her hand against his cheek. "I think that I'm very willing to find out."


	5. 5

**Chapter 5**

Buffy opened the door with a frown. "Come on in."

Spike gave her the once over and smirked before entering the house. "You wearing that?"

"No, but you failed to mention where we were going so I didn't know how to dress. Fancy or casual or-"

"In your bathrobe is," he tilted his head to get a better look, "a nice statement."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So what should I be wearing for this thing?"

"Jeans, sneakers...whatever's comfortable for you. You can stay like that. I don't have any problems with it."

"You're all talk," she joked, expecting Spike to at least smile at her. When he didn't, her frown came back, not knowing why he wasn't responding. "I'll, uh, go get ready." After a quick nod from him, she ran up the stairs and quickly put on her most comfortable jeans, a t-shirt and her sneakers. She grabbed her hooded zip-up and left her room.

"All ready," she said as she entered her living room to find Spike sitting on the couch. He looked over at her and she smiled. "Who says girls can not be in ready in five minutes or less?"

Ignoring her question, he asked, "Where's your mum?"

"Seattle. Dawn went with her. It's all about the gallery lately," Buffy told him with a shrug. He was becoming accustomed to her shrugs and how they worked. They weren't all shrugs saying "I don't know" but more often than not, they were used to make everything seem lighter. She used them as a defense mechanism just as he often found himself doing. So he knew instantly that it hurt her more than she let on. By shrugging, she was trying to brush off the pain but he knew that no matter what you tried, the hurt stayed.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Sure." Another shrug. "Are we going?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hiking? You really know how to woo a girl, Spike."

"There's not that much hiking. Have you been through these woods since you moved here?" He held out his hand to her and she grabbed it. He hoisted her onto the rock and looked down at her, smiling softly, before turning and heading up.

"No and is it dangerous? Are there bears? Or mountain lions? I have this problem with nature."

"What would that be?"

"Nature." They laughed softly as she ducked under the branch that Spike was holding up. "See when you walk, you should not have to dodge things."

"It's good for you, Summers. As far as I know there are no lions, tigers or bears."

"Oh my..." Buffy mumbled.

Spike snickered. "A little patience...that's all I'm asking for."

"You're such a pot."

"Yeah and you're my kettle." Her fingers tightened around his at the statement and he had to shake off the feeling that went through him. How did she do that to him? How could one little gesture put him both at ease and on edge all at the same time? Was that even possible? He quickly glanced behind him to see her to looking at the ground, watching where she was walking. Did she even know what she could do to him?

He saw the red material tied around a tree and turned to the right suddenly, making Buffy stumble a bit. Her hand quickly went to his lower back to steady herself and he turned to her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just tell me when you plan on turning abruptly."

"Well, if it's abruptly, there probably wouldn't be time to tell you."

"Then don't do that again," she said with a smile. "Are we close?"

"Very," he told her as he began to walk again. She slid her hand down a little lower until she felt the top of his jeans. She hooked her thumb through a belt loop and let her fingers rest along his waist. As they walked, her fingers moved slightly which caused those little sparks to run through him. The slightest of touches were all it took to make him want to prove to her that he wasn't all talk. "Stopping."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to stop walking. Didn't want you to crash into me."

"Thanks for the warning," she said as they stopped about five feet away from a cave. "Please tell me that's not where we're going." She pointed her flashlight in its direction.

"That's where we're going."

"It's a cave..."

"Well, look at Miss Observant," Spike teased. "There's something through there you need to see."

"My imminent death?"

"I've been in there more times than I can count and I'm fine," Spike reasoned.

"That's still up for debate." He pushed his body against her lightly and she giggled. "There's nothing living in there that will want to make us a meal, right?"

"If there is, I'll be sure to throw you in front of me and run like hell."

"And we wonder why you didn't have a girlfriend until Dru..." She looked up at him and stopped smiling. Damn, she did it again. When had she turned into Cordelia and lost her ability to be tactful? "I didn't-"

"Let's go." He started walking towards the entrance. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze which soothed her nerves somewhat but she was still kicking herself for even mentioning the crazy ex. Why didn't she just laugh at the joke? Tonight she had inadvertently hurt his feelings by kidding about his inexperience. Not that she found him to be but she assumed that he thought that he was due to his reactions. If they hadn't done the q & a the night before, she would have still been under the impression that he had been very experienced. Just from the way he held her, touched her and most importantly, kissed her, she had thought she was just the newest girl in a long line of them. She, obviously, had never been more wrong. Now, instead of being worried that she would be the one lacking, she found herself worrying if he thought she was too experienced. That definitely wasn't the case. Buffy made the decision to tell him the truth about her two, not at all memorable experiences when the time was right...or when he asked. However, she hoped he would ask because she really didn't want to bring it up.

They were at the entrance of the cave when he stopped again. He turned to her and asked, "Do you trust me?"

How the hell was she supposed to answer that? They were about to walk into a cave for Christ's sake and no one knew where they were if something were to happen to them. The fact that she barely knew him flittered through her mind but she dismissed it because that's not where her hesitation came from. She knew without any question that he wouldn't hurt her. However, telling him that she trusted him...that was taking another big step. Was she ready for that? Should she go with her gut instinct of yes or should she actually take the time and think about the repercussions from saying yes? Trust was as important to her as love was. Without it, she didn't understand how you got to the other. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his gaze and her breath caught in her chest. Maybe to the outside observer, it would appear that Spike was merely looking at her but she saw it in his eyes. The moon's light made them dance with his anxiousness and hope. Definitely hope. She nodded her head and he sighed before leading them in.

So she didn't say it out loud. It didn't mean she wouldn't one day.

"We need to walk through the cave to get there. You good with that?"

"Our two little flashlights aren't exactly cutting it. I can barely see."

Spike chuckled and said, "I'll lead you. Five minutes blind, tops."

"Fine but you so owe me." He body began to tingle when he pulled her to his body. He moved behind her and the sound of disappointment she made was out of her before she had the chance to stop it. He placed one hand on her hip and he nudged her a bit to get her to start walking. He moved his flashlight around the cave, making sure there was nothing there. They walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither feeling the need to say anything.

"Almost there," he said, trying to calm her nerves.

She turned her head a bit to look at him. "The shadows are very disconcerting, you know. Plays tricks with your brain." She heard a noise in the distance and her body grew tight. "What's that noise?"

"It's nothing...a few more feet," he reassured her.

"What is that?" she asked quietly, more to herself than to him. He tightened his grip on her hip and stopped her. The air felt different here, like there actually was some and she saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Are we going through there?" she asked, pointing to the small opening that was two feet in front of them. She tried to get a better look outside but couldn't see anything but trees through the hole. "Are we even going to ** fit** through there?"

"Yes and yes."

The light breeze from the opening felt nice on Buffy's heated skin. The air was damper, misty almost. She furrowed her brow trying to figure it out when she felt Spike lean against her back and his breath against her ear. She shivered slightly and waited.

"Close your eyes."

"I definitely won't be able to see then," she immediately said and grimaced from the stupidity of the statement. He stood in front of her and looked at her in _ that way_ before she rolled her eyes and closed them. He took her hand and led her to the opening. Spike hoped that she wouldn't jump to any conclusions about why he brought her to this place. He only wanted to share a place that had been able to drive away many a crazy moments for him. He slanted her body and led her through to the outside.

"We're here," he whispered and it took a lot of her might not to kiss him senseless because that was really all she cared to do at the present moment.

She opened her eyes and her mouth fell open in a silent gasp. She looked at him quickly and turned back to take in the surroundings. She looked up and could see slivers of moonlight through the tops of the trees.

"This is...wow. Can you go in there?" She walked over to the good sized body of water and let her eyes roam over it. How could she never have known this was here? Leave it to Spike to find a hidden pond in Sunnydale. She moved her flashlight around and saw the small waterfall from the rocks that were about ten feet away. The water led to the pool and flowed out into a brook that went down the side of the cliff.

"It's like bath water. I've had no weird side effects since I've been coming here so I think it's safe."

"It this from a natural spring? I didn't think they really existed. Thought it was a myth, you know? Propaganda from the spring water companies," she said with a laugh. "How did you find it?"

"I went exploring a few months after we moved here. Came across the cave-"

"Which you just went into without thinking if maybe some big nasty lived there?"

"Yeah, well, if I see something that strikes my interest, safety be damned." A smile flickered across his lips as he thought the cave could work as an analogy for his time spent with Buffy as of late. "I had a flashlight to see and I have two legs to run on if something started to chase me."

"Sure, if it didn't bite them off first."

"Anyway, I came in, walked all over and found this opening."

"How deep is it?" she asked, bending down to feel the water. Amazing. Just as Spike had said; it was like bath water. Perfect, actually.

"About six feet."

"So you just float around? Doesn't that become uncomfortable after a couple of minutes? You should get a raft or something! Or one those hideous pool chairs that have the cup holders in the arm."

"Not really big enough for rafts, Buffy. Besides rocks stick out all over so you can sit and relax."

"I'm starting to think only you could sit on a rock and relax. So you don't know where the water actually comes from?"

"There's a good sized mountain about fifteen miles up, maybe it starts from there and runs down. With all the earthquakes California has, I thought maybe it ruptured the earth here and caused the water to surface." He shrugged. "I'm not exactly a natural water formation specialist."

"Have you followed the brook down?" Buffy asked, pointing to it.

"Yeah, ends up in the park's lake and then where it goes, nobody knows."

"Wow, it's just so cool. Too bad you didn't tell me where we were going. I would have brought a suit and a towel..."

"You could still go in. You are wearing under garments, aren't you?"

"Have you ever walked a long distance with wet clothes under dry ones? Not comfortable," she answered. "I suppose I could just not wear them on the way back..."

"Or not wear them in." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I am, of course, kidding."

"No, you're not! You are completely serious," she said, laughing. She stood up from the pool of water and walked over to him. "Has anyone else ever come here when you've been here?"

"No."

"I will if you will," she offered. It was his turn for the wide-eyed look. She giggled and felt her face flush at her own brazenness. "I'll make you a deal." He nodded for her to continue. "There's no looking until we get in the water and even then, we will both need to try our hardest not to stare at the other."

"Sounds fair," he barely said.

"That's not all of it. I want you to tell me something-"

"Anything," he said a bit too quickly and Buffy had to stifle her laugh at his eagerness. She wasn't looking to go for her third round-a-bout insult of the night. "I mean, yeah, sure, whatever."

"Oh, because that was so much better," she kidded and was relieved when he gave her a shy smile. "Whatever I ask, you'll tell me."

"Any subject?" She nodded. "And I have to answer it?" She nodded again. "Do you know that it's something I don't want to talk about so you're using this opportunity to get me to tell you?" She smirked and nodded yet again. "Tricky."

"Me? I'm beginning to think you knew exactly what was going to happen when you brought me up here."

"No, I only wanted to show-"

"I'm sort of kidding with you, Spike," Buffy interrupted with a smile. "So you really didn't have any plans of the skinny dipping variety?"

"I hoped, but I didn't expect it to happen," he said, quietly. "Can I ask you a question, too?"

"Absolutely," Buffy answered without hesitation.

"I believe we have a deal, Summers."

"Okay," she said nervously. "Turn. No peeking." Spike turned and Buffy undressed quickly. She went to the water and slowly moved her way in. "Now you're sure there's nothing in here that's going to try and eat me, right?"

Spike choked down his natural response and just said, "No. You done?"

"Yup and I'm facing the other way so I can't see you."

Spike turned around and couldn't help but smile when he saw Buffy facing him. She blushed and slowly turned in the opposite direction. She felt her heart speed up when she heard the soft noise of the zipper coming undone and the rustling of clothes coming off. She wondered if he had the same reactions to it. She knew she was treading on a fairly dangerous path but she realized rather quickly that her time spent with Spike had been all about the moments. If she hadn't acted on the first one in the backyard all those weeks ago, she would not be here now. If she hadn't gone back to his room last week, she would be sitting at home, berating herself for her being scared. Seize the day she thought with a smile.

"I'm coming in," Spike announced.

"Mm-hmm." She squeezed her eyes shut and her entire body tensed when she heard the splash of water. "In?"

"In."

She opened her eyes and was surprised to see him wading in front of her. She looked all over, willing herself not to look at him. She was afraid that if she dared to even look at his face that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from lowering her gaze. Spike, however, didn't seem to be having the same problem as she could feel his eyes boring through her.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" Spike asked, confused.

"Staring at me. It's throwing me off."

"I'm not looking anywhere besides here," he told her, lightly touching her cheek.

She finally looked at him and sighed. "Yeah, that's the problem. Can't you do what I'm doing?"

"What? Searching around frantically for something else to look at? No."

"Isn't this entire situation freaking you out in the slightest?"

"This was your idea, Goldilocks," Spike pointed out and tried to not to laugh.

"I was all loopy from the high altitude!" Buffy screeched, flinching at her own high pitched voice.

"These excuses of yours get better all the time. We can always leave but we're here, already in the water..."

"Already naked." Her eyes went wide and she snapped her mouth shut. Instead of saying anything or waiting for him to say anything, she ducked her head under the water and pushed herself down.

Spike looked down but couldn't see anything. He was starting to wonder what exactly they were playing at being here. He had thought they'd sit and talk or stick their feet in. He didn't think he'd be floating in the water with the both of them naked as newborns. He wasn't about to complain but it was a strange situation. He hadn't answered Buffy when she asked, but he was definitely, as she so eloquently put it, "freaked" out.

Buffy's head popped out of the water and she breathed in deeply. She looked at him shyly and said, "I resisted pulling you under. All I could think of was _Jaws_ but I refrained."

"Thanks ever so." His face broke out in a wicked grin and he went under the water.

"Spike?" she asked, knowing it was fruitless. She felt a brush against her leg and hesitantly touch along her calf until it reached her ankle. His fingers wrapped around it and she took a deep breath before he tugged her down.

He broke the surface first and swam backwards towards to the side of the pool. Buffy resurfaced and smiled when she saw him relaxing against the side with his arms stretched out. She put her head back under the water and stuck her hand up on top of her head, simulating a fin, and swam slowly towards him. He laughed out loud and watched as she came closer to him. Buffy lifted her head out of the water, pushing back the hair that stuck to her forehead and smiled. She moved his legs apart and moved between them.

"Buffy," Spike began only to stop when Buffy shook her head. 

"Why didn't you sleep with Dru?"

Spike groaned and put his head back against the rocks. "So that's the question, huh?"

"If it's too personal-"

"No, we have a deal. You've held up your end quite nicely."

"Well, I try..."

"I'm not really sure how to explain this..." Buffy waited patiently for him to continue. "Can you sit over there or beside me? It's very distracting with you between my legs."

Buffy blushed and ducked her head. "I'm sorry...I didn't realize..." She began to back away when he reached out his hand to hers and stopped her. "I thought you wanted me to go."

"There's room here, beside me."

"I can't." He tilted his head, the unspoken question in his eyes. "The rock is too high. The water won't cover me." She moved her hand back and forth in front of her chest. Spike's mouth formed in an o-shape as he realized what she meant. "I don't think you realize how lucky you men have it."

"Then stay where you were."

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Wait right there then," he told her and left his perch. He swam around, touching the wall of the spring, ducking under the water every other minute. He turned to her and said, "We can both sit here."

She paddled over to him and felt blindly for the rock that he was already sitting on. She grabbed his leg by accident and she heard the small sound escape him. When she finally found the edge, she moved her body to it and took a seat. The water was just below her collarbone and she smiled.

"How'd you do that?"

"I'm brilliant," he answered, slyly.

"Oh, yeah." She slapped her head playfully. "I forgot. Forgive me?"

He nodded and sighed. "Are we going to do this?" Her eyes went wide and he laughed lightly. "Another question and answer period."

"Oh...right. So what happened?" Buffy felt her body relax considerably. 

"First off and I'm not sure you even want to hear this but Dru and I did everything but have sex-"

"Yeah, you were right about that," she mumbled as her stomach clenched in a tight knot.

"Over sharing?"

"Maybe just a little."

"You let me know, then, alright?" Buffy nodded. "There isn't this grand explanation about why I haven't had sex yet. I just haven't."

"Please don't take this the wrong way and this is one of those 'leave out the details' times but you were with Dru for a couple of months and you did whatever it was that you did together...and sex never came up? She didn't want to, either?"

"No, she did. At least that's what her reason was for cheating on me," he shrugged. "Two months is nothing, Buffy. In the grand scheme of things, it's no time at all. Nobody needs to jump right into it."

"So if I said I wanted you to take me now, you'd say no?"

He hesitated at first and then said, "Yes, I would." Buffy stared at him wide-eyed, her mouth opening and closing. He laughed softly, reached a hand out and ran his fingers down the exposed part of her arm. "But I'd want to say yes."

"Oh," she squeaked.

"You asked..."

"No, no, it's fine. I...So, why are you waiting?"

"I'm not telling you that. It's silly. Makes me seem overly romantic and like quite the poof."

"Just tell me. I'm not all judge-y, you know." He shot her a look and she smiled shyly. "Most of the time, I'm not."

"I wanted it to be special."

Buffy felt her skin tingle at his admission. "And it wouldn't have been with Dru?"

"Someone special," he amended quietly.

"She wasn't?"

"Don't make me say it, Buffy."

"Say what?" she asked, confused. "Spike?" He reluctantly looked at her before he leaned down and softly touched his lips to hers. When he pulled away from her lips, his mouth went to her cheek and down to her neck. "Spike?"

"Hm?"

"Am I special enough?" she whispered.

He removed his lips from her neck and looked at her. He moved closer to her and cupped her jaw in his hand. Before he had the chance to kiss her, Buffy ducked and swam away from him. Spike shook his head free from the haze his brain was clouded with and looked over to where she was.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, before swimming over to her.

"Stay right there," Buffy told him sternly.

"I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Spike. But you have a question to ask and I think that's what we should be doing."

"We don't have to continue..."

"I think we should. We seem to be having the sex talk so you should ask me."

"How'd you know?"

"It was about as obvious as what my question was going to be," she told him with a smile.

"Who's the second wanker and where is he?"

"His name is Riley and I used him to rebound. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't great. He was nice enough but not what I wanted. I think I was just looking for someone to treat me like a queen."

"And he didn't?"

"No, he did but he joined the army, so off he went. Like I said he wasn't what I wanted so it all worked out in the end. So, yeah, what you said...last night? About me using it to get over Angel? That was the right assumption."

"How long did that go on for?"

"Um, Angel left at the beginning of July...I met Riley about a week or two after that...About a month."

"A month?" he asked, surprised.

"I'm not...I don't hop into bed with men. I know it may seem that way but-"

"But nothing. You don't need to explain anything to me."

"I want to, though. Angel and I...our entire relationship was for show. Who knows when we stopped liking each other...probably after the sex. I loved him but I don't think I liked him for a long time. Does that make sense?" Spike nodded. "And with Riley...it was part getting over Angel and part trying to see if I was really bad at all the sex stuff."

"All?"

"Everything having to do with it. Angel said...he said I needed a lot of practice," she finished, quietly.

He reached out for her arm and pulled her to him. He tried to ignore the feeling of her breasts lightly touching his own chest and said, "To think that blighter said...You are lovely, Buffy." He brushed his thumb along her lips. "If the way you kiss is any indication, you have nothing to worry about."

Buffy grabbed his shoulders and began kicking her feet. She propelled them over to the wall and stopped before Spike's back hit the rocks. She crushed her lips to his. His hands went to her wet hair and he moaned as she pushed herself against his body.

She ripped her mouth from his abruptly and panted. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Yeah," he breathed out before attacking her neck.

"I moved my bed over the summer...oh, that's nice..."

"I noticed and thank you." He laughed lightly against her neck and continued to nibble.

"I moved it so I could see...you." Spike looked at her and she giggled at the look of shock on his face. "I thought you would have figured that out by now."

"I wondered but I didn't presume to think..."

"Presume to think? That sounds so posh. Even your accent sounded more refined."

"Don't mock me. It's not nice." He snapped his teeth at her and she laughed harder. "Should we go?"

"Why don't we stay for a little bit?"

"Because you're still naked and leaning against me. It's taking all my strength not do go against my words from earlier tonight."

"So go against them," she whispered in his ear.

He clenched his jaw and moaned before pushing her away. "We can't. Not like this."

"But there's other...stuff, right?"

"Sure but..."

"But what? You did whatever you did with Dru without ever doing the deed...so why shouldn't we at least start? Get the ball rolling, so to speak."

"I don't want to rush into anything."

"We're not rushing, exactly. Okay, we haven't done anything but kiss in the last month but maybe we could...I don't know. I've not done anything but the sex so I'm not entirely sure what you do when you're not doing that-"

"Wait a minute, luv. What did you say?"

"Angel and I...we had sex that one time and before that, it was all kissing and a little groping on his end. With Riley...pretty much the same thing...and now I'm over-explain-it girl."

"You're telling me that those poncers didn't touch you, didn't kiss you? Didn't take full advantage of what you have to offer?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

"Bloody fools," Spike muttered. He ran his hand down her wet hair and smiled. "Some day soon, we'll teach each other all sorts of things."

+++++++++++


	6. 6

**Chapter 6**

"Okay, let me get this straight," Willow said, plopping down on her bed next to Buffy. "You two went swimming, naked, and nothing happened?"

"Besides a few kisses and not-so-subtle-but-I'm-trying-to-be touches? Nope," Buffy answered, popping a grape into her mouth with a large smile on her face.

"But Spike's...a man and men are known to only be interested in one thing. I'm thinking a naked Buffy probably wasn't the easiest thing for him."

"He's actually the one who said no." Buffy covered her face with her hands and let out an embarrassed cry. "I attacked him."

"No!"

"Yes and now I'm too ashamed to even talk to him." She removed her hands and looked at Willow. "He told me he wanted to wait. That we would learn together and teach each other. Romantic and sweet, right?"

"He wanted to wait? But he's not..." Buffy nodded her head to confirm Willow's unfinished sentence. "He told me that's where...ooh! That little...oh god. He isn't being jerky about your non-virginal status, is he?"

"Not at all, which is also irritating. I thought men were all about conquering and being the first and blah blah."

"Maybe he wants to be the first nice guy in your life," Willow pointed out.

Buffy sighed heavily. "I can deal with the emotionally abusive guy, I can even deal with the naive guy...but I don't know if I can deal with the nice guy."

"Is he trying too hard?"

"It makes me sound like a bitch if I say yes, right? Like it totally gives credit to those theories that women like men who treat them badly. I don't but I seem to be able to deal with them better. Compliments and lovey-dovey behavior put me on edge."

"Does he know this?"

"No..."

Willow immediately saw the look on Buffy's face and she shook her head. "No way. Uh-huh. Count me out. I've learned my lesson of meddling with you two and I'm not-"

"You owe me!"

"No, I don't, Buffy. I've already helped, remember? If it weren't for me, you two would still be bantering back and forth until Sunnydale imploded with all the sexual tension you two create. I'm out."

"Will..." Buffy dragged out her name and flashed her puppy dog eyes in her best friend's direction. Willow huffed and rolled her eyes in response before crossing her arms over her chest. Buffy sat up and saw Willow had resorted to her own resolve face and knew that she wouldn't be able to con her into helping. "Fine, be that way."

"So you attacked him?" Willow giggled as Buffy turned red again.

"I'm a slut," she grumbled, throwing herself back on the bed in an overly dramatic fashion. "I actually suggested that the quicker we get it over with the easier the next time will be."

"Was this before or after he said the thing about learning and teaching?"

"After. I said he could teach me then and he quietly told me no before he pushed me away, hoisted himself out of the water and got dressed. Did I mention that it was the second time he pushed me away? God, I am so embarrassed."

"You saw him naked?" Willow's mouth dropped open and she could feel her cheeks burning.

"Great ass," Buffy answered and the two fell into a fit of giggles. "What am I going to do, Will? He had to have known I was ducking him at school today. How do you say stop being so nice and understanding to someone?" Buffy closed her eyes and rolled onto her stomach. "He gave me his t-shirt to dry off with. It's the littlest gesture and yet it made me feel..."

"All warm inside?" After a few moments of silence, Willow, swallowing her nervousness said, "Buff, you have to talk to him. You'll get nowhere fast if you're going to cocoon yourself away each time something a little on the heavy side happens."

"I'm not."

"Sure." Willow's face expressed her disbelief in Buffy's statement but she let it rest for the time being. One way to get on Buffy's bad side quickly would be to call her on the way she was behaving and Willow had no intentions of dealing with a grumpy Buffy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike was at the end of his tether. He'd had enough. He wasn't going to be bandied about at her whim. He wasn't going to sit by and watch her walk away every time he tried to talk to her. He had stopped trying come Wednesday. Two days later, a mere week from their first "date", and he hadn't heard hide nor hair from her.

He watched her walk to her locker, seemingly lost in her own world. Element of surprise worked in his favor. As long as she didn't know he was coming, she couldn't run away. For Spike, the time for her to run had ended.

Spike stood behind her, waiting. For what, he wasn't sure of yet but he felt he had taken the first move too many times already. Plus, he knew that he'd get enough of a thrill once she saw him in such close proximity. He refused to say anything, though. He would sit none-too-patiently for her to turn and acknowledge his presence.

"Hey, Spike!" Xander called from down the hall and Spike saw Buffy's fingers turn white around the door to the locker. Her shoulders visibly tightened as well and he rolled his eyes in annoyance. So much for surprises. Spike looked over to Xander and shook his head and made an indication for him to not bother them. Xander took the hint and stopped from coming any closer.

Buffy slowly turned around and brought her eyes to meet his. "Hi."

"She speaks."

She lowered her eyes and shuffled her feet. "I've been-"

"Busy, right." Spike placed his hand on the locker next to her, effectively boxing her in. "Let's try something else, shall we?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"For starters, the truth."

"I have been busy, though." Quickly looking at him and seeing the disbelief in his eyes, she sighed. "Okay, maybe not that busy, not like a queen bee busy but maybe one of those little worker bees?" She looked again and saw that his stoic expression had not changed. "So, I'm mortified by my behavior and ignoring you. Whatever. I was the tramp of Trampidor."

"Now you're just being silly," Spike teased softly, running a finger down her jaw line.

Her eyes snapped up at him and he could see the fire in them. "You're the one who asked, I'm telling. And don't tell me I'm being silly!"

Spike took a step back and cocked his head to the side, trying to size her up. She rolled her eyes in response and turned around to face her opened locker. She began to slam her books around, trying to find anything to ignore the burning sensation down her back.

"Killing your books won't help." She shrugged and continued on. He put his hand on her shoulder and tried to turn her back around only to be met with resistance. "Why are you being like this?"

"Why are you acting like you care?"

"Not acting, Buffy. I do."

"Don't." She slammed her locker shut, wrenched her shoulder from his grasp and ran down the hall, leaving Spike to look after her retreating form in confusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Talk," Xander commanded as he sat next to his friend outside of the school. He grabbed a fallen a leaf from the ground and twirled it between his fingers.

"I don't want to talk," Buffy told him. "It's no one's business anyway."

"I'm not entirely sure what's going on but to the casual observer, it would seem as though you and Spike just had a lover's quarrel. That's weird because last time I checked, you hated each other."

"We were sort of seeing each other."

"Were and sort of?" Xander hated this part. Being the best guy friend to the girl you had a crush on since the day she moved here is not the easiest of things to do. He didn't want to hear how much she had seen of Spike but he couldn't help the incessant curiosity as to why no one knew about it.

"For about a month, we've been, you know..."

"If I knew, I wouldn't be oh!" Xander's eyes bugged out and he did his best impersonation of a fish out of water.

"Ew, Xander, not that. I wouldn't talk about that other thing with you because that's plain creepy."

Xander exhaled and his lips twitched in an embarrassed half-smile. "Not that I need to justify my train of thought but you said 'you know' in your shy, innocent voice and one thought led to another and-"

"And we all know you have sex on the brain 24/7. I'm not surprised by your conclusion jumping, Xander," she interrupted, a small smile playing on her lips. She nudged her shoulder into his arm playfully and he couldn't help but grin back.

"So do you want to talk about it?" Xander asked, reluctantly.

"I have to walk over and get Dawn. Wanna come with?"

"Spending time with Buffy Summers? Only a fool would pass that up." Buffy opened her mouth to say something when Xander quickly cut her off. "And no me being a fool comments are allowed." Buffy snapped her mouth shut and smiled. He hoisted himself off the grass and held a hand out for her.

They walked in silence for a while both lost in their own thoughts. Buffy contemplated asking Xander about Cordelia and his relationship with her. Buffy had always considered herself to be like Xander in that department, as neither one trusted people right off the bat and they both seemed to wait until the trusted party destroyed it. She wondered how Xander let go of that and let Cordy in or if he had at all. On the outside, it looked as if they were your average teenaged couple but maybe Buffy had it wrong. Maybe they didn't get on as well as she thought. Anything was possible with those two. No one expected the queen of the school to date one the dorkiest guys. When it came to them, you had to expect the unexpected and that's why Buffy stopped giving Xander such a hard time about his romantic choice. Scratching Cordelia's surface had been like a archeological expedition. There was so much there under it. Watching her wall crumble over the last several months had been strangely rewarding to Buffy. She knew everyone put those walls up; she was as guilty as anyone on that front.

But the real question that plagued her mind was, how do you even begin to chisel away at it to let someone see the other side?

"Xander?" He looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "When you and Cordy...when you two got together, was it hard? What I mean is, was it a struggle to let her in knowing she could hurt you? Or trying to break through her hard exterior? Did you ever think it was too much of a hassle, that it wasn't worth it?"

"Buff, that's the beauty of it, though. Everyone knows Cordy and I have our differences and we fight like cats and dogs but getting to know her...that's the pay-off. It makes it worth it."

"Oh." She took a deep breath and continued on. "It's just...we're kind of similar in how we deal with people, don't you think?"

"Sure."

"So when you decided to open that piece of you up to Cordelia, weren't you petrified that it would backfire?" Her eyes never left the sidewalk as she walked and she was nervously flicking her fingers, needing to do something with her hands. He patted her gently on the shoulder in effort to give her some comfort but if she noticed, she gave no indication.

"It's Cordelia...of course I was worried. Scared to death, actually. Since our relationship started with groping in broom closets, I figured the ball could drop at any moment."

"But it did, though. There was that whole debacle with her bitchy friends."

"Yeah, but she did the right thing in the end."

"Uh-huh, if you consider her sticking with you the right thing," Buffy joked. "I don't know...I'm not exactly letting people in girl and my experiences with men leave little to be desired."

"Putting aside my own personal feelings here, I'm going to tell you that they weren't worth your time. Granted, I may be a little biased here but it's how I see it." A shy grin formed on his lips. "You tell Cordy that and I disavow our friendship."

"My lips are sealed." Buffy thought for a minute, biting her lower in lip in concentration. "Okay, here's the thing. I like Spike. I really like him. He makes me laugh, he surprises me, he's passionate and I don't mean that in a sexy way, although-"

"Got it," Xander interrupted quickly.

"But sometimes that scares me."

"Sometimes?"

"Fine, all the time. I'm scared of him all the time and because I'm afraid, I cut myself off and then I'm bitchy Buffy. I'm going to end up alone with fifty cats and kids tping my house on Halloween."

"Sounds like a bright, shiny future for the Buffster."

"I'm very self-aware," she said, her voice more cheerful than she felt. " I hate how I know exactly how I'll be and I know that I don't want to be that way but since I don't know any other way to be or I'm too afraid to be the way I want to be, I don't do anything change the way I am. And does any of this make sense?"

"Strangely, yes," he smirked. "I want to tell you 'buck up, champ, you'll be fine' but I can't."

"Good because I think I need tough love."

"As we've established, we're not the over sharing type so if I'm a bit," Xander made a flittering motion with his hands, "it's because I'm not very good at this." Buffy nodded in understanding. "You have to make a choice, Buffy. You either let go and fall or you don't. I'm not saying it might not hurt but it's the risk you take. I keep wondering when my other shoe is going to drop. When Cordelia Chase will wake up and think what the hell am I doing with that Xander Harris? But until that day comes, I do what I can to make sure it doesn't."

"And if it does?"

"If it does, I'll grin and bare it, like I do with everything else life throws at me. This is living, Buffy. It's messy and painful, you'll get no argument from me there but it's what we have to do. If we didn't take those risks, grasp those moments, what's the point?"

"Moments," Buffy muttered softly to herself. She wrapped her arm around Xander's waist and looked up at him and smiled. "I kind of love you right now."

"Well, I'm easily lovable." Buffy halted their walking and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "And huggable."

After she released him, they began walking again in silence until they reached the front of the elementary school. They found Dawn sitting on the brick wall, reading a book. She looked up at her sister and her eyes went wide when she saw that Buffy had brought Xander with her. She hopped off the wall and ran over to them, smiling brightly.

"Took you long enough."

"Sorry, grown-up talking time. You're not dead or anything so don't start with the guilt trip," Buffy warned.

"Hey there, Dawnie," Xander greeted cheerfully, giving her a quick noogie. She giggled like an eleven year old with a crush would and averted her eyes. "Let me get that bag for you." She handed it to him and he dropped to the ground, sighed and dramatically wiped his brow. "See this is why I don't bring any books home."

Dawn laughed too loud and too quickly and Buffy looked at her like she had grown three heads. "Are you alright?"

Dawn sobered considerably and narrowed her eyes at her sister for interrupting her and Xander's moment. "Fine. Let's go."

"She's so grateful," Buffy whispered sarcastically in Xander's ear. He grinned in response, following the two Summers girls' back to their house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Her lights were out in her room. She couldn't be doing what she was if they weren't. He'd be able to see her. He might be able to see her now but she was holding onto hope that he couldn't. She watched him walk around his room, putting things away, changing CDs, sitting at his desk and writing. She wondered what he was writing as it would eventually aggravate him to the point of tearing it out of the notebook, crinkling it into a ball and throwing it across the room. She watched the tenth ball of paper fly and stifled her giggle. It had been the same repetition of movements for the last hour. Scribble, scrunch, toss and up out of his seat to pace and change the music and sit again, scribble... 

At this time last week, they were already halfway through their date. Talking, getting to know one another with the idle chit chat that comes with it. She had felt guilty that she knew nothing about him and he had lived next door to her for two years. That was when the idea of the question game hit her and she couldn't wait to get back to his house in order to delve a little deeper. There was still so much she didn't know and she hungered for the knowledge. Of him. To know him. Their first kiss had only been a few weeks ago and she knew his lips better than she knew the man. She knew that wasn't right. It wasn't how relationships were formed. At least not the kind she wanted to try and have with him. Willow had been right. There was so much more to him than what met her eye. She saw that now but she had made a mess of everything. 

She didn't think an apology would get it done this time. Nor could she climb into his window with her inhibitions gone. Attacking him had occurred to her but seeing as her embarrassment over their first naked encounter had resulted in her being irrationally cold, she didn't think that was a good plan. Talking, she decided, was her only viable choice. 

And, boy, did she suck at the talking. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

He knew she was watching. Let her watch, he thought smugly. Stupid bint. She was under his skin, crawling around in him, making him itch to touch her again, talk to her, apologize for doing nothing. And he hated it. Hadn't he promised himself after Dru that he wouldn't let another girl run him around again? He tried to dismiss the fact that it was BUFFY. His dream and nightmare rolled into one. He had made a vow to himself to not be swept up again. Yet, here he was writing a letter thinking this was the best way to get to her because trying to talk to her hadn't gone so well. 

Everything he wrote made him feel like a ponce. He continually ended up declaring feelings that he didn't want to. Why couldn't he just go next door, pound on the door until she let him in and force her to listen? He had also come to the conclusion that simply grabbing her and kissing her with all that he had wouldn't work, either. Their skinny dipping escapade from the previous weekend can attest to that. He didn't know how to communicate with her. Dru might have been off her rocker, but she would always tell him when he did something wrong. Granted, they were more thinly veiled criticisms than anything else but at least she didn't give him the cold shoulder with no explanation. 

Should he have just said the hell with it and taken her in the spring? No. It would have defeated the whole purpose as to why he waited in the first place. Blame the eternal romantic in him that believed that although most of life was shit and you never got what you wanted, sex was something to be cherished. A tad on the Puritan side, he knew, but it was just the way he felt and nothing had dissuaded him from that. 

Well, until Buffy, that is. 

He growled and ripped another page from his notebook. He left his chair and stood at the window. He could only see the clump of hair that escaped from the pillow she had over her head. He sighed and pulled the shade down. This wasn't going to work. Letters wouldn't help, either. Damn her and her stubborn nature, he thought. Two years of pining and he was better off having never known what it was like to know her. 

Spike went around his room, picking up the discarded paper balls and cursing the day they moved here. Particularly his father. If he hadn't insisted on moving to this hell hole of a town, Spike never would have set eyes on his next-door neighbor and he would be happily living in ignorance. Perhaps when it came time to fill out the college applications, he'd concentrate on going home. He could try to convince Anne that they were better off in England, that life here didn't work out as well as they hoped. His useless cad of father wasn't coming back and there was no point in waiting around for him to return. 

He stopped what he was doing and stood to his full height. Not waiting, he thought. Isn't that exactly what I'm doing for her? That ends right now. 

Smiling smugly, he threw on a t-shirt and headed down the stairs and out the front door. She didn't know what was in store for her when- 

"Hi." 

Spike looked up from the ground, surprised to see her standing on the lawn between their houses. He nodded his hello and looked her up and down. The fact that she made the baggy knit pants and tank top she was wearing look amazing really irritated him. It bothered him so much that he thought the best way to let her know that was to grab her and kiss the hell out of her. 

He broke away and stared at her, his fingers wrapped around her upper arms. She looked at him, wide-eyed, before a smile flashed across her mouth and she latched onto him again. 

They both knew they should be talking, knew they should quit kissing and they both thought the same exact thing... 

Talking was way overrated. 

+++++++++++


	7. 7

**Chapter 7**

Buffy placed the kettle on the stove, her back turned to her company sitting at the island. Spike watched her and smirked. He couldn't help it. She couldn't have been more obvious. His leg was shaking out of nervousness and he mused that never before had a nervous tick. He assumed they were going to talk as soon as she stopped fussing over the stove. He wasn't sure, though, as she had only taken his hand and led him back into her house. They went into the kitchen and she grabbed the kettle and filled it with water. 

"What are we doing?" he asked, breaking the silence. 

He could hear her breath in heavily and then watched her turn slowly. "Well, I know that I've been...distant...this last week. Since our date. And I want to-" 

"No, right now. What are you making?" He nodded his head towards the stove. 

Buffy flushed. "Oh, hot chocolate. Mom said you liked hot chocolate. I don't know how she knows that but I love chocolate in any form and if you like it, too, well, I thought it would, you know, make things more comfortable." 

"Your mom knows I like hot chocolate from that freak snowstorm we had last winter. I shoveled and she made me a cuppa." 

"Yeah, that was weird. You shoveled for us?" 

"See how well you pay attention?" Buffy rolled her eyes, but smiled before turning around again. "So what were you saying before?" 

"Oh, you want to do that right now?" 

"You started it." 

"Only because I misunderstood what you meant. I'd rather wait until I have chocolate-y goodness. Is that okay?" 

"Sure." 

"How was your week?" She cringed at her lame attempt to make conversation. She could feel him watching her as she took the two mugs out of the cabinet and pour the hot chocolate mix into them. "You like marshmallows, right?" 

"Only if they're little," he answered. She turned to look at him, an eyebrow quirked in amusement before she grabbed the bag and threw them in front of him. 

"You can put in how many you want." 

"Thanks ever so." He opened the bag and popped one into his mouth. 

"So, your week. How was it?" 

"Lonely." 

Buffy's mouth formed an 'o' shape before she decided, not surprisingly to Spike, to brush right past his admission. "How did you like that English test, huh? I swear Mrs. Hennings has it out for anyone below the age of eighty." 

"She's not so bad..." 

"Spike, she's bald." He gave her an amused look and she shrugged before placing his hot chocolate in front of him. "Well, she is. I think I counted fifty hairs on her head one day. That's how much she bores me." 

"She has tenure. She's not going anywhere anytime soon so get used to her, pet." 

"The great thing about being seniors is I don't have to get used to her. I only have to deal with her for another," Buffy counted the months on her fingers, "nine months! That's nothing." 

"No, it's nine months. A lot can happen in that time." 

"Are you trying to destroy my not-often-used optimism? Because I have to tell you, it's the only thing that's getting me through English this year." 

Spike held up in his hands in supplication and shook his head, smiling. "No, no. Wouldn't dream of it." 

Buffy smiled and picked up her mug. "Let's go in the other room." She walked out of the kitchen and turned her head slightly to see him following her. She sat on the couch and curled her legs under her. She watched him sit on the opposite end of the couch and she frowned at how far he was from her. When he looked at her, she quickly smiled, not wanting him to be aware of her disappointment. 

"You have plans for the weekend?" Buffy asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of her voice. She knew he heard it when he quirked his brow and a small smirk appeared. She really needed a lesson on how to start a conversation properly. 

"You asking me out, Summers?" 

Her eyes went wide and she began to stutter. "Uh, oh, I didn't mean with **me**, I was just-" 

"No, no plans. I wouldn't object to someone offering, however." He slid closer to her and she felt her skin start to burn. 

"Dinner and a movie after I get out of work tomorrow?" she asked quickly. 

He smiled briefly before nodding. "That wasn't too difficult, was it?" 

"And I'll try really hard to not freak out afterwards." 

"Are we going to discuss that or merely pretend it never happened?" he asked. 

"We should." 

"Yes, we should." 

"But I really don't want to," Buffy said softly. 

"I'm of the opinion that if we don't, it could keep happening," Spike told her. She nodded her head in agreement but remained quiet. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to delay time before he spoke again. He was growing a tad weary of always being the one to initiate everything between them but if he wanted answers, he was going to have to do just that once again. 

"Spike, I like you." 

Or not, he thought. 

"Which, I guess, is not a big revelation," she continued. "Or maybe it is, I don't know." 

"I like you, too, Buffy. It isn't about that." 

"No, you're wrong. It is about liking each other. That is the basis of everything. Maybe if this was only about kissing, I wouldn't..." She took a sip of her drink before placing the mug on the table. She adjusted her legs so she was kneeling on the couch, her arm draped over the back, her fingers lightly brushing against his arm. 

"Buffy?" 

"How much truth do you want?" 

"I want all of it." 

"But-" 

"Nothing. I want all of it," he stressed. 

"You fill me with utter dread." 

His eyes bugged out and his brow furrowed in his confusion. "Wow...didn't expect that." 

A small laugh escaped her, which caused him to smile, as well. "I probably could have been more tactful." She moved towards him until they were only a few inches apart. "I'm scared of you or more specifically, us...the idea of us, I guess. You, personally, don't scare me." 

"Thanks for clarifying." 

"I had a talk with Xander today and it had me thinking about things. I wasn't scared with Riley. I don't know why that is and I'm not about to examine it but I just wasn't. But you...you're different. It's all or nothing with you-" 

"That isn't true," he interrupted. 

"Yes, it is. That day when you said we should go out and I didn't answer right away, you threw me out. You said you wanted all of me or none of me. You remember that, right?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Well, that's all or nothing, Spike." 

"I don't mean to push you." 

"No, that isn't..." She sighed and closed her eyes briefly, trying to collect her thoughts. "We've only been doing this for a little while but I know already that I never want to hurt you. That wigs me out because I'm bound to do just that." 

"You don't know-" 

"I do. I do, Spike. I know. I know how I am and what a freak of nature I am when it comes to relationships." She paused, thinking. "Or maybe I'm a freak of nature due to my past relationships...whatever, the point is I will hurt you somehow and I don't want to do that." 

"Do you think you don't scare me? Dru invaded me in such a short time and she tore me apart. I've known you a lot longer and if you think the idea of us doesn't have me as on edge as it has you, you're quite daft." 

"We've only been doing this for a little over a month, Spike-" 

"And I've liked you far longer than that," he admitted quietly. 

"Oh." How she wished she had something better to say than that. She had known, though. She just never allowed herself to acknowledge his feelings because then she would have to admit to hers, as well. Knowledge was a bitch. 

"So, yeah, I see exactly where you're coming from." 

"I know you think I like you now because you changed your look." 

"Can you blame a bloke?" 

"No, I can't, but you need to know that it's not true." He looked at her, surprise in his eyes. "It's like...you know how when you were a kid and say you wanted a big wheel, right? And everyone else had a big wheel but you couldn't afford one and all the kids laughed at you because you were the only one without the big wheel. So then you had to pretend that you hated big wheels so no one would be the wiser but secretly you always wanted the big wheel." 

"I'm a big wheel?" he asked, his voice full of amusement. 

She laughed. "Yeah, pretty much." She gingerly touched his face and sighed again. "You are the equivalent of the big wheel I never got as a kid. I wanted that big wheel so much but Mom and Dad kept insisting it was too dangerous and too expensive. I'd have to listen to everyone go on and on about the god damn big wheel and I eventually started to hate it, as well. It represented everything I wanted and couldn't have." 

"You could have-" 

"No, I couldn't. You barely spoke to me, Spike, and when you did, it was just to get on my nerves." 

"That's because I liked you." He ducked his head down, away from her fingers. "So, are you saying you've liked me all this time, too?" 

"Yes." 

"I'm not really sure what to say to that," Spike said honestly. "Forgive me in being hesitant to believe you." 

"If I were you, I'd feel the same way. Look, there's no excuse that I can give that will make everything better or any different than it was. I was with Angel, anyway, and so the idea of you and I...that was never there. I just thought you were cute and infuriating...wondered what it'd be like to kiss you. I guess it was a crush or something idiotic like that." 

"Did Willow know about your...crush?" 

"I never told her but she's a wily one, our Willow. She knows what's up long before anyone else figures it out." 

"And Angel?" 

"I've told you about him, about our relationship. I'm not proud of this but sometimes it was just easier to pretend he was someone else or more to the point, acted like someone else. It made things easier to disregard the bad and only focus on the good. Even now, I sometimes forget what was real and what I made up in my head." 

"I don't think I'll ever understand why you put up with his behavior. You're a smarter woman than that, Buffy." 

She smiled and blushed a bit at his compliment. "If someone tells you you're not good enough for x amount of time, you start to believe it. I didn't think I was going to do any better or any worse than him. He wasn't bad all the time. Sometimes he was downright sweet and romantic and I don't want to talk about Angel." 

She took the mug from his hand and placed it on the table. She took note of his fingers, which weren't shaking, exactly, but fidgeting and she felt that pesky pride flow through her again. She never thought about the effect she had on a boy, probably due to the fact that she didn't think she had any effect, but with Spike it was very clear what she could do to him. She liked it. She decided to embrace it. 

As she reached for his hand, the thought that she was still going to hurt him flashed through her mind. She pushed it down. She wanted him. He wanted her. Now was what mattered. She would worry about the future later when it was time. She was going to take Xander's advice. 

Buffy was going to fall. 

The landing could be rough and she knew the both of them could end up battered and bruised as it so often goes. Right now, though, it didn't matter. Like Xander said, take the moment and try not to let the other shoe drop. Yeah, it was extremely optimistic. Not her usual style but damn if she didn't want this. 

She felt his fingers curl over hers and it snapped her out of her reverie. When she looked up, she found his eyes burning into hers and her mouth went dry. There was no explanation for it, really. She tried to justify the tingling sensation in her fingers, the rapid beating of her heart, the shallow breaths she was inhaling but she couldn't think of one good reason other than the obvious. 

It was Spike. 

She wondered why she needed to have another explanation besides that; wondered why her feeling this way scared her when she only had the one answer. She smiled when she finally realized it was normal to feel like she did. The boy beside her made her dizzy and it was perfectly normal. There was nothing wrong about being scared. There was no point in worrying about what might happen. The here and now is all that mattered. 

And right now, she was going to kiss him and she was going to keep kissing him until he made her stop. 

And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Spike watched her as she put his mug on the table and saw that she noticed his twitching fingers. He cursed his nerves for making him shake. Why couldn't he just act cool and indifferent? Why did he revert back to his old self when it was just the two of them? How did she have the ability to get under his skin so quickly? 

He didn't want to be vulnerable. That way led to sudden pain. A pain he knew all too well thanks to Drusilla. What had happened to that commitment he made after they split? It wasn't supposed to go this way. He was supposed to be in charge of this. He didn't want to be dragged around by his heart again. But he knew as clear as day that as long as the girl was Buffy, he would allow her to. 

There was a large part of him that resented her for it. He knew that for however long this went on between them, she would be the leader and he would follow without question. He shook his head, trying to negate his own thoughts. No, they would be equals in this. He would just have to make her realize that. He would not, could not, allow himself to be another girl's puppet. He had more self-pride than that...didn't he? 

She told him that it wasn't this new him that caused all this but he was still having trouble believing it. Despite what she said, her actions then spoke volumes to him. She treated him like dirt on her shoe. The girl couldn't even be civil to him most days and that only egged him on further to be as horrible to her as she was to him. He shrugged internally. Maybe she had a point with her big wheel analogy. Maybe it's easier to pretend you don't want something when it's all you really want. 

Isn't that exactly what he did for the last two years? 

Her fingers brushed against his and he looked at her, seeing that she was staring unseeing at their hands. He suddenly didn't know why he felt so vulnerable when she looked to be just as, if not more so, than he thought he did. He watched the internal debate play out on her features and he wanted more than anything for her to tell him. She didn't want to talk about Angel anymore, which was more than fine with him, but he still wanted to suss this all out before they started up again. 

He needed to know everything, well, maybe not every single thing...a person still needed some mystery, but he needed her to let him in. He feared that if she didn't, they would only continue on this path of getting along, fooling around and running away. He felt a sudden surge of confidence and he knew he had to get her attention. He didn't think they were done talking this out. 

He wrapped his fingers around hers and gripped them lightly. She looked up at him, startled at first before she seemed to just give over. He didn't understand that but it was there, staring him right in the face. There was a realization spreading over her, a light shining in her eyes and a smile so full of feminine charm and mystique playing across her lips that could easily drive him to the brink of disaster and he wouldn't care in the least. 

His head jerked a bit when her thumb brushed lightly against his bottom lip and guilt clutched him when he saw the confusion on her face. He smiled shyly and she returned it, her thumb returning to its previous endeavor. The way she was looking at him did nothing short but set him on fire. They weren't going to talk anymore and he was, not so surprisingly, fine with that. Any man who had this girl kneeling beside him, tracing her thumb along his lips and looking the way she was looking and told her to stop was a right fool. 

They could always talk tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. But now, he was going to kiss her and keep kissing her until they couldn't stand it anymore. 

And there wasn't a damn thing that she could do about it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Buffy wasn't sure who started the kissing. She wasn't even sure how long they had been kissing or how they got into the position they were currently in. However, she was sure that she wanted to stay here for a lot longer. Nestled down into the couch, half her body lying on his, his hand under her shirt and stroking her back lightly, her arm under his neck, her fingers massaging him, her other hand under his shirt and drawing circles along his stomach and chest as they went on and on. They were moving together, rocking against each other, kissing, nipping and touching. She had never, in her young eighteen years, ever wanted anything so much in her life. 

Not even that blasted big wheel. 

God, this was good. This is what passion meant, she was sure of it now. This undulating of bodies, the touching, his tongue doing those delicious things to her lips, neck, fingers. How did he know? She hadn't even known what was good and yet every little thing he did set her ablaze. A realization hit her hard. 

Her first time with Spike would be her first time. 

She smiled against his neck as she continued to kiss along the length of it. Sex with two people and she was ultimately as much a virgin as he was. She had only done it with Angel because she thought she was supposed to and he had grown restless. That had only served to make everything worse. With Riley, it was more to prove to herself that she could be desirable, although looking back on it now compared to what Spike was doing, the noises he made when she kissed him...she didn't feel any more wanted with Riley than she did with Angel. 

For the first time, she understood what desire meant. What she thought was passion was anything but. Spike was drawing out her inner vixen which she always felt the need to keep hidden as to not scare anyone off. She could tell that she was doing the same with him, as well. She wasn't sure if he felt the same way as her, this sudden understanding of what real passion was like, but she didn't care. He was teaching her; they were learning together. 

Just like he said they would. 

She remembered that he told her that he and Dru had done everything but have sex. She felt a bit sickened at the thought as most of this stuff was new to her where it wouldn't be to him. The idea of him experiencing certain things with that girl wrenched her stomach and she tried to regain her focus and concentrate on the feeling of his mouth on her collarbone. He wasn't as inexperienced as he proclaimed to be; he knew what to do, how to touch and she was fumbling around like a kid in a closet playing seven minutes in heaven. 

What did he expect from her? How long can a guy kiss a girl before he wants it to progress? Isn't that what she wanted? Sure, now she did but she knew come the time, it would be an entirely different story. There were so many things she wanted to do to him and have him do to her but what if she screwed it all up? What if it wasn't as good as the crazy girl did it? How could she live with that? 

"Buffy..." he moaned out and she suddenly didn't care about his ex-bitch because that sound went straight to her sex. 

Feeling emboldened, she let her hand stray down his stomach to the hardness in his jeans. She cupped her hand over the bulge and his hips bucked in response. 

"Christ, luv." 

She quickly removed her hand. "I'm so sorry." 

"No, it's good..." His hands went to her hips and he moved her on top of him. He stayed his hand at the small of her back and pushed slightly causing them to press into each other. 

"Oh!" Buffy exclaimed before feeling embarrassed by her reaction. 

"It's okay?" 

"Oh, yeah, it's...okay," she whispered before attacking his mouth. She moved her hips against his and she couldn't stop the continuous groans that escaped her. And she loved and stored to memory all of his. There was only one thought running through her head now. Oh God, oh God, oh God over and over again. 

If she had even the slightest clue as to what this was all like, she would have gotten over herself a long time ago and thrown him to the ground. She was burning from the inside out. 

And she loved every minute of it. 

"Spike?" 

"Mmm?" 

Could his voice be any sexier? "Is this...um..." 

He stopped kissing her neck and looked at her quizzically. "What?" 

"Is this hurting you?" 

"It's fine. Good," he said quickly, before going for her neck again. She rolled off him and he looked surprised. "I said I was fine. Come back." He tried to pull her over but she shook her head. 

She didn't say anything as her hand went to the button on his jeans and undid them. She heard his deep intake of breath and she hid her smile. She pulled down the zipper and reached her hand inside only to squeak in surprise when she didn't encounter underwear, just him. 

"Should have warned...fuck," he grounded out as her small hand enveloped him and she slowly moved her hand up and down. His mind was a blur. This was the last thing he had expected her to do. 

"Is this okay?" She couldn't believe this was her voice. It was just as low and husky as his was. Apparently this is how she sounded in this situation. Color her surprised. 

"It's bloody fantastic. You are..." 

She hated that he didn't finish his sentence. She wanted to know what she was. 

"You have too many clothes on, pet." He moved his hand to her tank top and tried in vain to push it up. 

"I'll get it," she offered and he put his hand over hers. 

"Don't stop." 

She nodded silently, her eyes wide at the naked lust on his face and in his voice. She'd never heard a guy plead for her to not stop. 

It was an amazing feeling. 

"Oh," she moaned as she felt his tongue lick up her cleavage. She really needed to find a synonym for 'oh' she thought absently as his hand moved to lightly grope her breast, his thumb circling her nipple. She couldn't help but smile at just how clever he could be. He couldn't pull the top off her but he could pull it down and stretch the hell out of it. Buffy couldn't have cared less. 

He loved that she had a simple, cotton black bra on. Dru had always been wearing something extravagant, which was nice enough in its own right, but Buffy didn't seem like a corset girl. This fit his whole ideal of her and all he wanted to do was rip it off and taste what he had gotten a quick peek of the previous week. He was a gentleman, but he was still a man, and there had been a naked Buffy drying herself off with his t-shirt. He didn't know of anyone that wouldn't have looked. 

Spike couldn't stop his hips from moving in sync with her hand. He didn't want to scare her again and if she stopped now...he didn't even want to think about that. Her leg was still lying over his and her pelvis was rocking against his outer thigh in time with his own movements. He wanted to touch her in the way she was touching him. He wanted to feel her surrounding his fingers. He wanted to give her what she was giving him. 

He tried to move her leg off of by moving his own leg over but that didn't work. She clamped down harder, her movements intensifying. In trying to move, he had opened his legs more and she decided take advantage of it. That hadn't been the plan but he certainly wasn't going to complain. 

Buffy moved her head from his shoulder and strained her ears. "Did you hear that?" 

"It was me. Jesus, you're..." 

"What? What am I?" She couldn't let this one go. 

"Wonderful," he breathed out. 

"Take this off," she demanded, removing her hand from him for a minute and sitting up. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head before tossing it onto the floor. 

"You, too," he said as he quickly pulled the tank off and threw it behind him. "You're so warm, luv." 

Her hand went back to work and he clenched his jaw. They moved faster together, their bodies continuing on as if they had never stopped. 

"Buffy?" 

Oh, shit. She quickly removed her hand and sat up. In her haste, she accidentally kneed Spike in the groin and he instantly doubled over in pain. 

"Holy fucking hell!" 

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" He only looked at her, not able to say anything. "Stupid question. I'm sorry." She looked to the room's entrance and grimaced. "Hey, Dawn." 

Dawn smirked before grabbing their shirts and throwing them over. "You better put these on quick. Mom will be inside in about ten seconds." 

She quickly threw on her top and helped Spike put his t-shirt over his head. 

Buffy looked at her sister and gave her an embarrassed smile. "Please, Dawn. I'm begging you. Don't say anything. Please." 

"You owe me." 

"I owe you big time. Huge. Anything you want or need with no arguments what-so-ever," Buffy promised. 

"Me, too, Bit," Spike grunted out, still bent over and clutching his stomach. 

"And I thought today was going to suck," Dawn mused. 

"Hi, honey," Joyce greeted as she walked into the house. "Spike..." She studied the two of them and they both averted their eyes. It wasn't hard to miss the swollen lips, the messy heads of hair, and the obvious breathing issues the two were having. "I think it's time for Spike to leave." 

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow," Spike said quickly, getting up from the couch slowly. He glanced at Buffy and smiled softly, which she returned. 

As he was walking to the door, Joyce stepped in front of him and opened it for him. She smiled warmly as he nodded his goodbye and stepped onto the porch. 

"Spike, just so you know, your t-shirt is on inside out." He looked at her, aghast, and she grinned knowingly and only like a mother could before shutting the door. 

"Bloody hell," he mumbled before making his way home. 

+++++++++++

to be continued


	8. 8

author's note: As the story goes on, it will get a bit racier so anything that isn't allowed by ff.net will be edited. 

**Chapter 8**

"Movie?" Buffy asked. 

"You pick." 

"Um...Sun's running a scary moviethon for Halloween." 

"Yeah?" 

"Tonight is _ The Exorcist_." 

"Fine..." 

"You don't seem too enthused," she said, turning her head to look at him. 

"Busy." 

"Rubbing my leg?" 

"It looks sore." 

"It looks like a leg." 

"Been working all day, running around the gallery, thought maybe..." He kneaded the skin of her calf and she closed her eyes, silently patting herself on the back for wearing a skirt. 

"You know, there's not a whole lot of running going on in the gallery. I mostly sit." 

"You want me to stop?" Spike asked, his hand now reaching under the hem of the skirt. "Because I will." His hand stayed but his fingers stopped moving. 

"Do whatever you want," she answered, hoping she sounded aloof. 

"Well, if that's the case..." He finally looked up at her and the look in his eyes made her smile nervously. The hand under her skirt went to her hip while the other worked it's way under her stomach. He flipped her onto her back and moved above her. "You sure I can do whatever I want?" 

She nodded her head dumbly, not even attempting to find her voice to answer him. Her mind was too busy trying to process anything other than, "His hand is under my skirt, his thumb is moving across my hipbone, he can feel my underwear...".

"That's good to know." He rose from the bed quickly, grabbed her hand and lifted her. "Best be off. Don't want to miss the movie." He walked out of his room and she could have sworn she heard him laughing softly to himself. 

"Son of bitch," she mumbled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Where do you like to sit?" Buffy asked. 

"Back. You?" 

"Middle." 

"Then that's where we'll go." 

"Spike, if you want to sit in the back, tell me you want to sit in the back. I know you can be assertive when you want to be." 

"I want to sit in the back." 

She studied him for a minute and nodded. "Okay, I'll meet you at the door when it's over." She walked up the stairs and headed for the middle row. She stopped when his fingers curled around her upper arm. 

"_We're_ sitting in the back." 

She smiled and walked up the stairs to the back of the theater. He waited until she sat before he followed her. There was something different about her tonight. She wasn't acting as nervous as she had been, which was great, but he wondered what had happened. After the previous night, he didn't expect her to be so...carefree. 

He expected her to put up her defenses, break their date, barely speak...whatever. He certainly didn't think that she would have launched herself at him before he barely closed the door to his house. That was the first thing that struck him as odd. He thought she would be averting her eyes and looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. Instead of all those things he wrongly thought, she entered his house and kissed him. It was short and sweet and she didn't say a word about it. She simply acted like it was the most normal thing to do, which it was, but this was Buffy. If Spike had learned anything in last month, it was that she could be anything but normal. 

They had gone upstairs to his room where she had immediately stretched, face down, on his bed and picked up the entertainment section of the newspaper. They had made idle chit chat about their respective days but Spike was still thrown for a loop. There was no discussion of the previous night, she didn't retreat from him, if anything she was more forthcoming than ever before, and it struck him that they were acting like a couple. If anyone had actually looked at them tonight, they would think just that but the thing that bothered Spike the most was that he didn't even know. He was going to find out, though. Tonight, in fact, and if she didn't like it...well, that was too bad for her. 

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked. 

"I'm not." 

"You were staring at the screen and unless the dancing popcorn really holds your interest, you were thinking about something." 

"We'll talk later," Spike told her and she shrugged, nodding in agreement. 

"You want some popcorn?" 

"No." 

"Well, if you do it's right here." She picked up his hand and brought it to the container resting between her legs. "Think you'll remember?" 

"Yeah, think I can." He grabbed a handful of popcorn anyway and Buffy watched as his tongue darted out and grabbed a kernel from his hand. She continued to watch until all the popcorn was gone. 

She didn't realize his tongue was so long. 

"Something the matter?" Spike whispered. 

"Nope. Napkin?" 

"Thanks ever so." 

She watched him wipe his fingers and mouth clean and decided that he was far more fascinating than a movie she had seen a dozen times. Besides, she never really understood the beginning with the archeological dig. She always fast-forwarded this part. 

"Hey," she whispered. "You missed a spot." 

"Where?" 

She smiled as she leaned over the armrest and licked the skin near the corner of his mouth. 

"All better." 

Spike tried not to have a reaction, he really did. He tried to stay in his seat and keep his hands to himself. However, if she felt like she could act like that, she had no idea what she was playing at. He decided to play it cool, bide his time until the opportunity presented itself for a little payback. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, being as discrete as he could, feeling confident that she had no idea that he was sitting there waiting. 

Her lips wrapped around the straw of her drink and he couldn't prevent the thoughts that it conjured; her hand reached over and squeezed his thigh when they gave Regan the spinal tap and he couldn't help to wish she would move her hand just a wee bit higher; she turned her head, burying it in the folds of his leather jacket and he wanted to rip the armrest out of the way so she could properly hide using any part of him that she wanted. 

"You alright, pet?" 

"Sure, I just hate that part. It's a crucifix for goodness sake," she whispered harshly, feeling her cheeks burn in embarrassment. She took a handful of popcorn and brought it to her mouth, gobbling it up. A piece fell down the front of her shirt and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. She briefly wondered if guys had to search for popcorn. She opened her shirt a little and peered inside, not being able to see anything. 

"Problem?" 

"No," she said quickly. She lifted the bottom of her shirt and as she went to put her hand under it, Spike's hand covered hers. "What?" 

"What are doing?" 

"Popcorn." 

He leaned over the arm rest, his mouth coming to her ear. "I can help you look." 

The soft noise that escaped her was involuntary and she was thankful for the darkness because he wouldn't be able to see the deep red that now stained her cheeks. His mouth moved down to her neck, the tip of his nose and lips barely grazing her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. He kissed her collarbone, his tongue darted out to lick it lightly and he heard her sharp intake of breath. 

She wasn't stopping him, wasn't planning on it, in fact but that didn't mean her brain wasn't telling her to make him stop. What he was doing was driving her crazy and she had to bite the inside of her mouth to make sure she make any more noise. His hand slipped under her shirt, fingertips trailing across her skin from side to side and then up. 

"Nothing there." 

She could only nod. 

He moved his lips further down to the v in her shirt, his chin pushing the shirt down as he continued. When she felt his tongue lightly lick her cleavage she wished that she had worn her push-up bra. When he moved to the swell of her breast, her hand shakily reached out to touch his head, threading her fingers in his hair. 

"Spike..." 

"Mmm?" 

"You have to...not do that." 

"Mmm?" 

"We're supposed to be watching a movie." 

She felt him shrug and then his hand moved her shirt down just a bit. Just enough that most of her lace covered breast was showing. 

"This is indecent." 

"Don't care," he mumbled. 

"Maybe I do." 

She could feel his warm breath on her nipple, his mouth a fraction away from it and there was a part of her that wanted to just take back what she said and push his head down but the larger part of her, the part that knew that the first time he did that, it shouldn't be in the back of a crappy movie theater, stopped her from doing or saying anything. He quickly pushed her top in place and leaned back in his chair. The adjustment of his pants didn't go unnoticed by Buffy and she tried to stifle the grin that wanted to form on her mouth. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," she said, turning to look at him, making sure she wore a smile. 

"That was...inappropriate of me. I shouldn't-" She put her fingers on his lips, halting his words. 

"It is fine," she stressed. "I'll be right back." 

He watched her as she put the popcorn container on the ground and she walked by him quickly and down the stairs. He picked up the popcorn and turned it from side to side, a sly smirk forming on his mouth as he realized she must have crushed it with her legs. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Buffy pushed the bathroom door opened and headed straight to the sink. She glanced in the mirror, feeling her skin burn even more at the sight of her overly flushed cheeks. She pulled a few pieces of paper towel out of the dispenser and ran them under cold water, blotting her face and neck. 

"Sit in the back, Buffy. Brilliant idea. There's no other reason to sit in the back other than to do...those things," she chastised her image in the mirror. "Stupid." 

She heard a toilet flush and the lock being undone and she groaned. She was standing here talking to herself and someone overheard her. Great. Wonderful. Couldn't get any more embarrassing than that. 

"My boy always did love to sit in the back." 

No wait. It could. 

Buffy remained stoic, not saying a word as her eyes moved in the mirror to look at the dark beauty that stood next to her, washing her hands. How did Spike go from this girl to her? They were nothing alike. She couldn't find one physical attribute that could even remotely be seen as similar. And she knew, without knowing her, that they were as different as night and day when it came down to their personalities. 

"You do well not to refuse him. There isn't anything that I didn't teach him to do well."  
  
"I've heard there's one thing," Buffy retorted. 

Drusilla stared at her a moment and reached across her to the towel dispenser. "He may be right. He may never...pry apart those dimpled knees after all." 

"Excuse me?" 

"He's an impatient boy, dearie. He thinks he's never going to get to the gold but you should tell him the pot is all his." 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Buffy asked, growing increasingly irritated. 

"Mind the car. You might scratch something." 

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned from her, throwing the wet paper towels in the trash. She looked at Drusilla again and they both looked each other over. 

"The bed of roses is lying in wait. Be careful or you may prick yourself on a thorn." 

Buffy snorted and shook her head slowly. "Oh, that's right. Spike mentioned something about how you thought you were physic." She walked over to the door and opened it. "Tell me. Can you read my mind...right now?" She arched her eyebrow and didn't wait for a response as she exited the room. 

Drusilla turned back to the mirror, her smile growing cold as she primped the curls in her hair. "Well, that wasn't very nice at all." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

As Buffy turned the corner from the bathroom, she crashed into a hard body. His hands quickly went to her waist to steady them and she looked up, ready to give this person a piece of her mind before she saw that it was Spike. 

"You alright? Mumbling to yourself is always a sign of..." Spike trailed off as he saw Drusilla walk out of the restroom. She looked at them smugly, a look he knew could only mean one thing. She was trying to stir up trouble. When she was out of earshot, he turned back to Buffy, who was staring in the direction that Dru had gone. "She bother you, pet?" 

"No." 

"Funny how I don't believe that." 

"God, how did you date her? She has to be one of the creepiest people I have ever come across. Ooh, I'm psychic, look at me! Look at me!" Buffy mocked. "I ** really** don't like her." 

Spike contained his smile and then realized what she said. "Wait...Buffy, did she tell you something?" 

"No, she's just weird." 

"Still not believing you." 

"What? Are you psychic now, too? Am I being left out of some cool new club or something?" 

"No, you're averting your eyes. When you have something you don't want to tell me, you avert your eyes." 

She looked at him then and said, "She didn't say anything. Can we please drop it?" 

He studied her for a moment and nodded. "Right. You want to get out of here, then?" 

"Yes." She walked away before he could do or say anything else. 

He followed a few steps behind her as she walked to his car. When they approached, she spun around and the fire in her eyes was unmistakable. 

"Did you think that we would just sit there in the movie theater and make out the whole time? Or that I thought gee this would be a great place for us to do it?" 

"What?" Spike asked, flabbergasted. 

"We haven't been going out that long, Spike. I'm not a prude but I don't jump into bed with the first cute guy that shows an interest in me. So, if you're looking for a quick fuck, it's not coming from me. I'm sorry that you're not going to be able to pry apart my knees right away but you're just going to have to deal with it or decide you don't want to do this anymore." 

"Christ, Summers, if I had a sodding clue as to what the hell you were talking about right now, I might be able to respond properly but since I don't, I'm at a loss." 

"You know ** exactly** what I'm talking about." 

"Let me guess. Dru said I wanted you for a shag and that's about all I want from you." 

"Look, I don't know why you didn't have sex with her and I don't care but I am not going to be used. I've been there, done that." 

Before she saw him coming, he was grabbing a hold of her arms and pushing her against the side of the car. He clenched his jaw, trying to reign in the aggravation that was consuming him and loosened his grip. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting it out slowly. 

"I don't know what she said to you, Buffy, but it's not true." 

"Yeah," she said her tone dismissive. 

"It is not true. I'm not using you, I could never use you and the only thing of yours I'm looking to pry open at the moment is that bolted door you lock yourself behind. Do you want me to deny the fact that I don't want you? I will. It won't be true but I'll do it. You want me to tell you that I don't think about you lying underneath me, naked, those lovely little noises you make coming out of you as I touch you? I'll do that, too, but it's just as much a lie as the other. I'll tell you whatever you want to hear to make you understand that this is not about that. Not for me." 

"But you think about it," she stated, softly, her anger burning away to nothing. 

"Bloody hell, Summers. I'm eighteen and I date you. It's all I think most days but it's not why I'm with you. It's not why I want to be with you." His hands moved to her waist and he lifted her to sit on the hood of the car. One hand stayed while the other went under her chin, lifting her face to his. He kissed her lightly and sighed. "I'm sorry that she upset you. I told her to stay away from you. I warned her not to-" 

"It's okay. I'm fine...She got under my skin. I let her get to me. I shouldn't have. I know better than that." 

"Are you mad about what happened in there?" 

She took a moment before answering. "No." 

"You can tell me if you are, luv. I acted like a total git...I thought you were playing around. I thought you wanted-" 

"I did...but not there." He didn't say anything but his thumb started moving in circles on her hipbone. "I think about it, too," she admitted, her voice so soft he barely heard her. "Like all the time and it sort of terrifies me but in this really great way that I can't explain." She looked at him, her eyes searching his. "Does that make sense?" 

"I've been waiting for you," he whispered. 

"What do you mean?" She didn't know why they were speaking in hushed tones, there was no one else around to hear them. It seemed to make their conversation all the more intimate and that scared her even more. She realized then that they were both so afraid of sharing these things with each other that they couldn't speak any louder if they wanted to. 

"When we moved in and I saw you...I've placed you on this pedestal and I've wanted you for so long, thought about you, dreamed about you...I've been drowning in you for years, Summers, and now that you're here..." 

"Spike, you should have said-" 

"Said what? Dump the poofter and be with me? That wouldn't have happened." When he heard her begin to protest, he shook his head. "It wouldn't have. When I left this summer, I wanted you gone. I wanted you out of my mind. You were driving me crazy...even in the first weeks I was there, you were all I bloody thought about it and when I met her...I thought she could save me. And she did. I'm not denying that I loved her or that I wouldn't still be with her if I hadn't caught her but I wonder..." 

"Wonder what?" 

"I wonder if I threw myself into it because it wasn't you. She opened me up to things-" 

"I really don't want to know what she opened, thank you very much." 

He continued on, though, needing for her to hear this. "She opened me up to things that I am grateful for. She stripped away parts of me that I didn't know how to do on my own and the entire time I thought when I get back, you're going to see me, this new me and you're going to regret not snatching me up when you had the chance." He laughed lightly and Buffy smiled. She put her hands on his waist and brought him closer to her, opening her legs to fit him between them. 

"Go on," she urged as her fingers pulled his t-shirt from his jeans and made their way under. 

"There was this part of me that couldn't give her everything, though, and she knew that. She hated it and when she found a picture I had of you-" 

"You had a picture of me? From where?" 

"It's not important." 

"How did you get a picture of me, Spike?" 

"I stole it from your basement when I was down there getting something for your mother one day, alright? I'm deeply shamed," he said, with a roll of his eyes. 

"No, you're not," her voice light. 

"She found it and was not pleased. After that she was always prattling on about my secret crush, teasing me about how I was waiting for a bleeding pot of gold." 

He didn't notice the sharp breath Buffy took when he said that. Her mind went completely blank for a second before she realized he was still talking and she could always examine that further after they were done. 

"And when I found her with that wanker in the park...and she went on and on about my glowing girl, the one I was waiting for, I knew she was right." 

"So you did know what she was talking about that day she said I glowed." 

He nodded his head. "What I'm trying to say, Buffy, is that I've waited all this time for you. You. I can wait even longer now that I have you." 

"What if...what would you have done if I wasn't here, though? You couldn't wait forever." 

"I'd force myself to move on like I did with Dru. I was happy with her and I could be happy with someone." He leaned in closer to her, his lips brushing hers. "But I'd always wonder what it would have been like to have you." 

She kissed him then. How could she not? He waited for her...for something he didn't know if he would ever get but he did. And she believed him whole heartedly. 

He gripped her waist and pulled her closer until every part of their bodies that could be touching was. He groaned as he felt her fingernails dig into his back and her thighs tighten their hold around his hips. He followed her actions, his own fingers tightening their hold on her waist. She bucked her body against him when he pushed his [edit] against her. 

"Oh..." she whispered. "We shouldn't-" 

"You're right," he agreed as he continued to move against her. "We'll stop." 

"Yeah..." 

"Right..." He broke away from her mouth and looked at her, his eyes heavy with lust and satisfied that she looked the same way. He began to back away when Buffy lunged forward, putting her hand on the back of his head and smashing his mouth to hers. Their tongues dueled, in her mouth, then into his, licking lips, teeth nipping, lips sucking. Their breath seemed to combine into one harsh pant as they continued kissing on and on, barely breaking away to suck in a breath before attacking one another again. 

"I thought...we were...stopping." 

"Shut up," Buffy demanded lightly, taking his bottom lip into her mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head and he pulled her even closer. "Spike, I'm going to...fall off the...car." 

"Sorry," he mumbled, lifting her a bit and placing her back where she was. "Good?" 

"Mmm-hmm." 

Her hand slid down the front of his jeans, cupping him. He groaned and she smiled against his lips. She wasn't getting the upper hand in this, he decided and mimicked her actions. He had to repress another moan at the feel of her heat seeping through her silk panties. He thumb brushed across her [edit] and she jumped in response. 

"Ow!" 

Spike immediately stepped away, his eyes wide. "I hurt you?" 

"No...no, no you didn't. I think I scratched my leg..." She lifted her leg slightly and saw that there was a small gash in the paint, which was lifted up. "Looks like someone keyed your car." 

"What?" he growled and stepped over to look. "Fucking assholes..." He saw her trying to see the cut on the back of her leg without lifting her leg too high. "Let me take a gander, pet." 

"It's fine. Didn't do anything but kill the moo..." she trailed off, embarrassed. 

"Moo?" he asked, smirking, eyebrow cocked in amusement. 

"Hush." 

"Let me." He bent down and turned her leg slightly and lifted it. There were about five different scratches and he instantly felt bad for moving her back and forth so much. 

Buffy saw his frown and rested her hand along the side of his face. "It's not your fault. I didn't even notice before." 

"Yeah, looks like it got you good. Must have been the last time. You're going to be fine. Get you home, put some medicine on it and you'll be good as new." 

"Will you help me?" 

"Just the job I was looking for." He kissed near the cuts and put her leg back down. He kissed her knee and she giggled, which caused him to smile against her skin. He continued up and when she felt his tongue slide ever so slightly against the skin of her inner thigh, she shivered. 

"Spike..." 

He shot up and grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off the car and set her on the ground. 

"Let's get you home and fixed up." 

++++++++ 

to be continued 


	9. 9

author's note: Sections have been edited out. And thank you for the reviews. Glad you like the story :) 

**Chapter 9**

"But you promised!" Dawn whined. 

"I swear to God, if you stomp your foot, you won't go anywhere!" Buffy warned. 

"This is soooo unfair, Buffy, and you know it! You said you owed me and it's payback time." 

"You are such a brat," Buffy muttered. "Look, I know what I said but, Dawnie, Mom would kill me if I let you go out by yourself on Halloween. Dead Buffy Walking. Get me?" 

"I won't be alone. I'll be with Janice!" 

Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Just as bad. You know as well as I do that she will leave you alone in an alley somewhere if one cute little boy shows an interest in her. Mom would have a fit if she knew I let you out with Janice." 

"I'm twelve years old! I don't need a chaperone anymore." 

"Mom thinks you do and by the way you're acting, I don't disagree. Take Janice with you and Mrs. Howard." 

"That is too embarrassing, Buffy. I can't do that." 

"Well, I can't go with you. I have to hand out the candy. Either go with Mrs. Howard or stay here and don't do anything at all." 

"William!" Dawn exclaimed, her eyes wide in realization. 

"Huh? Where?" Buffy asked, spinning around. 

"No, he owes me, too. He can take us out trick or treating and smelly Mrs. Howard can stay at home and give out raisins and grapes." 

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Buffy shot down quickly. "Spike is helping me pass out candy." 

"I bet he is." 

"Dawn!" 

"You tell him he has to take us out tonight or I'll tell Mom what I can only guess the two of you will be doing in the house all by yourself," Dawn bribed, folding her arms across her chest and arching an eyebrow. 

"When did you become so duplicitous? It's Janice, isn't it? She is such a bad influence and...and how would you even know anything about what Spike and I definitely won't be doing tonight as we don't do those things because we're too young and not married and-" 

"I saw enough of what you were doing before," Dawn interrupted and then laughed out loud at the look of horror that passed over Buffy's face. "Do we have a deal?" 

"I can't guarantee that he'll say yes." 

"He'll say yes." 

"I wouldn't be so sure. I know I wouldn't want to watch after the two of you for a few hours." 

"I'll leave you guys alone after we get back. I promise. I'll go right up to my room and do my homework and stuff." 

Buffy sighed and nodded. She simply couldn't resist that desperate look on Dawn's face. She knew her sister was well aware of what that look did to her but she didn't care. Buffy wouldn't have wanted to go around with smelly Mrs. Howard, either. 

"I have to ask Spike first, Dawn," Buffy said as she watched her sister run up the stairs to get ready. 

"I'm not worried!" she yelled down to her. 

Buffy went up the stairs, as well and into her bedroom. She walked over to her window and opened it, along with the screen. She could see Spike sitting at his desk, reading and jotting in his notebook. She thought he spent entirely too much time studying; he thought she spent entirely too little. Buffy ducked her head out the open window and yelled for him. 

Spike looked up from his physics book and towards the window. He smiled when he saw Buffy leaning out, waving for him to go to his own window. 

"Hey, whatcha doing?" 

"Studying before I come over tonight." 

"Um, do you think you could maybe come now?" she asked, biting her lip. 

"I suppose. Everything alright?" 

"Uh, yeah. I have to talk to you about something. Bring your books if you want. You can help me with Chem." 

"I'm not in Chem." 

"I know but I am so you can help me." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Buffy was waiting with the door open as he walked across the grass to her house. He flashed her a smile, which she instantly returned. 

"Thanks for coming over." 

"Sure," he said as he walked into her house. She motioned for them to go into the living room and he sat down on the couch, his book bag landing with a thud. 

"I didn't mean for you to bring your entire locker over," Buffy joked. 

"Have lots of work to do." 

"Oh..." she sighed, frowning. 

"Buffy? What's wrong?" 

"Dawn is looking to cash in on her IOUs." He nodded for her to continue. "She wants you to take and her friend out trick or treating." She saw his eyes go wide and she quickly added, "But you don't have to. We have Mrs. Howard all set to take her out but she wants to go with her friend and claims she will die of embarrassment if Mrs. Howard tags along." 

"I thought we were going to..." 

"Hang out. Yeah, we were. Are, I mean. We are. Sort of. See, if you take Dawn out for a couple of hours, I'll pass out the candy and then you'll come back here and Dawn promised me that she would stay up in her room and not be a pest." 

"Buffy," he began. 

"No, it's fine. I understand. Oh! How about I take them out and you stay here and pass out candy? That way you can study. I know you have that test tomorrow and-" 

"I'll do it." 

"No, I'm not going to let some twelve year old dictate what she is going to do. I shouldn't have let her think-" 

"Buffy, I'll do it," Spike said, strongly, hoping he got his point across. 

"I can help you study after you come back," she suggested. He quirked an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. "I can ask you questions and stuff..." 

"Stuff?" he asked, moving closer to her. 

"Mm-hmm," she nodded. 

"Like?" 

"What year did the Crimean War start?" 

"Not studying the Crimean War, pet," he told her as he bent towards her, his lips brushing the skin of her neck, causing her to shudder. "War of the Roses." 

"The movie? You're watching a movie in history class? Damn honor students getting all the privileges." 

Spike chuckled against her skin. "Not the movie. The actual war." 

"Oh! Yeah, right. Duh on Buffy." 

He could feel her skin flush and he knew it wasn't from kissing her neck. "I wouldn't refuse some help." 

"Spike, I don't even know what you're talking about. I couldn't possibly help you." 

"I have a question sheet. You could ask me those." 

"Are you two ever not all over each other? God." 

Spike backed away from Buffy and they both looked at Dawn. Buffy looked aghast and Spike began to laugh. 

"What? It's cute!" 

"You are not leaving the house like that. I highly doubt that Mom okayed that little costume of yours," Buffy said. 

"She did, too!" 

"Should I call her and find out?" 

"Fine, we did some altering in crafts class today. Can't do anything about it now." 

"Yes, there is. You take it off and find something else to wear." 

"I don't have anything else," Dawn argued. 

"And you're not leaving this house looking like Dorothy in the Wizard of the Red Light District." 

"It's not so bad," Spike put in. 

"Thank you!" Dawn said feeling vindicated. 

"Are you kidding me? That skirt barely covers her." 

"It comes to the middle of my thigh." 

"It used to come past your knee," Buffy pointed out. "Do you have white tights?" 

"Dorothy didn't wear tights, Buffy." 

"She will tonight if you want to leave this house." 

"Bitca," Dawn mumbled. 

Buffy shot off the couch and grabbed her sister's arm. "What did you just say?" 

"Nothing." 

"You think I don't know what bitca is? Xander's my idiot friend, I know what bitca means!" 

"Sorry..." 

"No, you're not but you will be. Go upstairs, change and stay there. You aren't going anywhere tonight." 

"You can't tell me-" 

"I most certainly can! Go!" 

"You're only doing this because you don't want William to take me tonight so you can boff all night long." 

"Dawn!" Buffy yelled, completely horrified. 

"Now, now," Spike said, getting off the couch. "Let's not say any thing else that could be any more damaging." 

"Spike, I can handle this," Buffy said tightly. 

"I know you can, pet, but you also look like the top of your head will pop off at any 'mo. Take a seat. Let me talk to the bit for a spell." 

"Like anything you can say will help," Dawn said, snidely. 

"You are soooo grounded when Mom gets home!" 

"Buffy, luv, please." He took her arm and led her back to the couch. He turned to face Dawn, who now had her hands on her waist and making her best effort of looking extremely put upon, which only resulted in her looking far younger than she was, Spike thought. "You and me, nibblet, are going to have a little chat." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Spike leaned over the island in the kitchen, resting his arms on the counter top, watching Dawn through his lashes. She sat on the stool, her arms crossed, a look of pure petulance on her face. A look he knew she inherited from Buffy as he had seen the same many a time before. 

"Are we meeting your friend or is she coming here?" Spike asked, hoping that by confirming that he was still going with her, talking with her would be that much easier. 

"You mean you still want to take us?" 

"I don't renege. I owe you and considering, I think I'm getting off light." 

"I'll call and tell her to be dropped off here." She looked at him for a minute, trying her hardest to suppress her smile. "If you don't want-" 

"I love a spot of trick or treat." 

She giggled and said, "They're not going to give you any candy. You're too old." 

"Then you'll just have to share the loot." She didn't say anything and he didn't continue. Sucking it up, he said, "Look, Bit, I know this is none of my business but your mum left big sis in charge. You know you're taking advantage pulling the stunt you did with your costume." 

"She acts like I'm a kid. That I can't take care of myself," Dawn lamented. 

"No, she acts like someone who cares deeply for you and wants to make sure you're safe." 

"You don't know. You're not here." 

"You think I don't know the wrath of one Buffy Summers? Where have you been the last two years?" 

Dawn smiled and ducked her head. "It's just...she's not that much older than me and it's like she's completely forgotten what it's like to be my age. She's so bossy and mean, she never listens to anything I have to say and I don't think she wants me around her ever." 

"I'd say that's not true." 

"William, you don't have any annoying sisters, you don't know what it's like." 

"Name's Spike now." 

"It's silly." 

He laughed at her bluntness and shook his head. They probably drive each other crazy because they're two peas in a bloody pod, he thought. 

"Are you in love with her?" 

He snapped out of his musings and looked at her wide-eyed. "Uh...what? What was that?" 

"Buffy. Do you love her?" she asked, the innocence of her curiosity so easily readable by Spike. He knew she wasn't asking for any other reason than to know but that didn't mean he'd say anything other than... 

"I like your sis quite a bit." 

"Uh-huh. Is it because I'm young no one talks to me? They think I won't understand." 

"I'm talking to you now." 

"Yeah, but you're still not telling me the truth," Dawn stated quietly before hopping off the stool. She sighed, not bothering to look at Spike and the look of awe on his face. "I better go find some tights and call Janice. Could you remind Buffy to call Mrs. Stinky?" 

With that, she walked out of the kitchen, leaving a dazed Spike to wonder how a twelve year old just bested him. She also brought forth what he tried in vain to keep buried in the recesses of his mind. He knew what he felt for Buffy. Being asked point blank, was an entirely different thing, though. It was something he wasn't ready to divulge to anyone and only allowed himself to think about it during quiet times late at night.

Yeah, he loved her. No, he wasn't telling her.

Spike made his way out of the kitchen, his head bowed, lost in his own thoughts. The next thing he knew he was being pushed against the wall with Buffy pressing her lips against his.

"Thank you," she whispered against his lips.

"I didn't do anything."

"She's up in her room, putting tights on and calling Janice. You calmed her down." After a beat, she added, "You calmed me down. So thank you."

He shrugged, a little embarrassed. "She's a good kid."

"She's also too nosey for her own good."

He bent his head back to look at her. She had heard them. More importantly, she had heard him. Good thing he didn't decide to be entirely honest with Dawn.

"You like me, huh?" she asked, her voice cheerful and teasing.

A grin crept onto his lips as he felt his anxiousness slip away as she smiled up at him. "You'll do for now."

She rolled her eyes and huffed. "You always know just what to say to turn me into a big pile of goo."

His hands moved to the sides of her face. He pulled her up and kissed her gently. "You know I'm crazy for you," he whispered and she felt his words flow through her, tingling every nerve she had.

"I'm coming downstairs! Put your clothes back on!" Dawn yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Are you sure she's only twelve?" Spike asked, amused.

"I blame Britney," Buffy deadpanned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Just a few more houses, please?" Dawn begged, fluttering her eyelashes and making him chuckle. She took that as a good sign and gave a thumbs-up to Janice.

"You're Buffy's boyfriend?" Janice asked.

"I suppose I am," he answered.

"Are you guys like doing it?"

Both Spike and Dawn began to choke at the bluntness of the question. Dawn gave him an apologetic look before grabbing her friend's arm and walking ahead of him. He merely shook his head at the audacity of the girl who had been nothing short of a pain in the ass the entire night. He felt justified in saying that three hours with her and she was no friend to Dawn. And he couldn't find one redeeming quality about the girl that Dawn could possibly like. Up until now, he had thought Dawn a bright girl and hoped that her other friends weren't as irritating as this one had been.

"Dawn says you dress like that every day," Janice stated as she stopped, waiting for him to catch up with them.

"Yeah, what of it?" He silently berated himself for letting the little girl get under his skin.

"I don't know...It's just...Don't you think you should step into the now?"

"Black and leather are classics, girly. If you were better educated you might know that."

"I learn what I have to," Janice told him, running her eyes up and down his body.

"How old are you, little girl?" he asked, dropping his voice and sounding a tad more menacing on the last two words.

It worked. She visibly straightened and threw her hair behind her shoulder before walking away.

"I am so sorry," Dawn said.

"I don't want to lecture you or come off as a big brother type but, Dawn, that girl...she's of no use to you. I've known those types of girls. They want what they can get from you and then they'll leave you high and dry, mocking you the entire time. You're better than that."

"Yeah," Dawn snorted. "Am I?"

"Aren't you?"

They both heard his name called and looked away from each other, both sad and relieved to drop that topic of discussion. Spike didn't know what to tell her. He didn't know her all that well. Not yet, at least, but he saw something in her that reminded him of what he was like when he was her age. As much as Dawn wanted to know what Spike thought of her, she was terrified that if he found out how much of a dork she really was, he wouldn't be so nice to her. She liked him and he made Buffy smile. And when Buffy was a happy camper, Dawn was treated more like a sister and not like someone who trespassed on Buffy's life and took away everything she had.

"What are you doing out here, Red?"

"Oz and I took his cousin Jordy out. Dawnie! You look too cute. Love the tights."

Dawn rolled her eyes and saw Janice motioning to her out of the corner of her eye. She was standing there with Zack and Justin, who she knew played on the Junior Varsity football team. They were two years older but she remembered Justin from when he was at the same school as her. They had the same lunch period and she would try not to make it obvious that she was staring at him. Wishing with all her fourth grader heart that he would notice her and send her a note or offer her one of his Swiss Miss snack cakes.

Needless to say, that never happened.

Janice motioned for her to join them and she looked back at the small group she was standing with, thinking over what Spike had said to her. She was well aware of how Janice operated but if she could put herself in Justin's line of vision, she was going to do it. She'd deal with the consequences later.

"I'll be right back. I see some friends."

Spike's eyes went over to the corner and he frowned. "You know those boys?"

"We used to go to school with them."

"That's Justin Freely and Zack Baker. They're fine," Willow informed him. "Well, Zack is a little loopy but I used to baby-sit Justin."

"Alright, I'll be here if you need anything," Spike told her, giving her a small, reassuring smile. It grew, though, when he saw her face light up before she walked casually to her group of friends. He watched her as she made her way over and he could tell that she was trying to be as aloof as possible. He laughed softly, remembering what it was like; how nerve-wracking it was. He stopped himself when the thought that he still felt that way every time he saw Buffy emerged in his mind. Hell, even when he knew he could see her or was about to see her, it happened.

"Are you ready for the physics test?" Willow asked.

"As ready as I will be. I'm going to help Buffy with her chem."

"Ha, good luck," Willow exclaimed, before slapping her hand over her mouth. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"That's right. You used to help her. She can't be that bad off." When Willow remained silent, he began to get nervous. "What aren't you telling me?"

"She understands some concepts. Like the basics but otherwise..."

Spike's eyes rolled up and he sighed. "I'll just have to see for myself, then. She's going to quiz me on history and I'll help her with chem. It can't be that bad."

"You should have a rewards system. She responds better to that. Get an answer right, give her a cookie."

"I don't have any cookies."

"Chocolate?" Willow asked, hopefully.

"Nah, none of these blighters would give me any candy."

"Well, I'd get some," Willow advised.

"Or you could alter the rewards system," Oz offered, quirking an eyebrow, hoping that Spike caught on.

He laughed and slapped a hand on Oz's shoulder. "Right you are, mate. A rewards system. That'll do just fine, I think."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you two have fun?" Buffy asked as Spike and Dawn trudged through the front door.

"So much. Thanks," Dawn said, a large smile on her lips.

Buffy was taken aback at first and then shook it off. "Sure...get anything good? Perhaps a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or Nestle Crunch that you could bribe me with."

"Why am I bribing?"

"So I don't tell Mom what you did to your costume."

"Do you two do anything for each other without blackmail getting involved somehow?" Spike asked, plopping himself down on the couch next to Buffy.

"No," they answered.

Dawn set her pillow cover down on the table and began sorting through it. She pulled out about ten different kinds of chocolate bars and pushed them towards Buffy.

"Okay?"

Buffy made a show of looking them over and shrugged. "This'll do."

"Do you want any, Spike?" Dawn asked.

"No thanks. I'll just eat your sister's goods."

Buffy slowly turned to look at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open just a bit. He wiggled his eyebrows just a bit, enough to let her know that what he said did have the meaning she took it as.

"Good luck getting any from Buffy. She hordes the stuff," Dawn warned, oblivious to any and all sexual innuendoes and looks between the two. She picked up her sack and made her way to the stairs. "Have fun. I'll be up in my room, pigging out."

"Don't forget your homework," Buffy called out to her, not taking her eyes off of Spike.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. Hey, Spike?" He tore his gaze from hers and looked over to Dawn. "Thanks a lot for coming with us. I know it wasn't exactly how you wanted to spend your Halloween."

"Nonsense, Bit. It was my pleasure." And he meant it.

She smiled and ran up the stairs. As soon as they heard the door close, they were on each other. His hands to her back, pushing her to him. Her hands to his head, moving him to her. She opened her mouth when she felt his tongue sweep across her bottom lip and he instantly deepened the kiss. He slowly moved forward as she pulled him down, the both of them working so in sync with the other that they were both equally surprised by it.

He settled between her legs, his left arm holding him up and over her, his right hand running down the length of her body. She sought out the roaming hand, grabbed it and brought it to her breast.

"I want you to touch me." She bit back her giggle at the look on his face and instead nodded her head slightly to confirm that she did, indeed, want to be touched.

Spike watched his fingers lightly skim over the curve of her breast, move down the underside and back up again. Coming to rest on the outer curve, the side of his thumb moving softly over her nipple, making Buffy tingle just so but not enough.

Was he teasing her? Was he scared? Was she not direct enough? She thought that she was. Thought "touch me" pretty much got the point across that she wanted him to touch her. Now. So why was he being so hesitant? He'd already seen her in just her bra. He was going to kiss her there just last week in the movie theater. Hell, they'd been skinny-dipping and she knew that he'd gotten a peek even if he acted like he hadn't.

If he was waiting for her take control, then she would.

She turned her body, knocking him off balance and onto his side. He looked at her quizzically and she shot him what she hoped was her most vixen-ish half-smile. She placed her fingers at his lips and moved them down his chin, neck, pulling lightly at the collar of his t-shirt and continuing down until she reached the waist of his jeans. Buffy moved his shirt and slipped her hand underneath, trailing back up his stomach and chest, feeling herself grow warmer as she felt every muscle constrict under her touch. She reached her destination and lightly ran her fingernails over his nipple. She smiled when he gasped and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"When I say touch me, I mean touch me." Her hand traveled back down to the button of his jeans and she undid it quickly, pulling on the material and causing his zipper to go down. "Do you want me to?"

He nodded, his eyes on hers but she had the feeling he wasn't seeing her at all. He seemed in a daze and she tried not to giggle, knowing that would only ruin the mood.

"Buffy?"

Or, Dawn would.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Um, I ate all this chocolate but I didn't get a drink and I know I promised to not disturb you but I really, really need a glass of water or milk. I mean, really. I think I might die."

Buffy rolled her eyes and started to get up when Spike's hands moved abruptly from their place on her body to cover himself.

"She's not coming down."

"I don't want you kneeing me in my crotch again. Be of no use to you then."

"Who said that was going to be of any use to me anyway?" She winked and let the laugh escape her at the disappointed look on his face. She carefully got off the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs.

"So, milk or water?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was right. Dawn ruined the "mood" and when she came back to the living room, she found him zipped up and sitting on the couch with a textbook in his lap and his notebook full of notes on the seat beside him. She sighed, picked up his notebook and sat next to him.

"Still want to help?" he asked, not looking up from his book.

She made a face but said in a cheerful voice, "Of course. What do you need me to do?"

"Ask me the questions on this sheet."

She looked it over. "Okay, how long did the war last, what period of time was it and who was the dispute between?"

"Thirty-two years, from 1455 until 1487 in Medieval England and it was between the House of Lancaster and the House of York."

"Very good!" She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Nothing better than that?"

"Not until we get to the harder questions. Number two, why was it called Wars of the Roses?"

"Based on the badges. Lancastrians were red roses and Yorkists were white."

"Number-"

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Reward?"

She smiled and continued. "Number three, what were the five major causes of the conflict?"

He ticked off the answers with his finger as he listed them. "One, both houses were descendents of King Edward the Third. Two, Henry the Sixth, the ruling Lancastrian king, surrounded himself with unpopular nobles. Three, civil unrest amongst the people which always leads to blood shed. Got to love unrest. Four, too many powerful lords with their own armies. Finally, five, good old Henry went a bit mad." He took a deep breath and looked at her. "That gets me something. Has to."

She took his outstretched hand, lifted it to her mouth and kissed each finger, the palm, his wrist and back up to his index finger. She wrapped her lips around the tip, moved her tongue around it and bit it gently. She released his finger and took his middle finger as he quickly threw his book off his lap, grabbed the notebook off hers and threw that on the ground, as well. He yanked his hand from her and brought it to her neck, under her hair and moved her to his mouth.

"I think you're a bit evil," he mumbled against her lips.

She laughed softly before grabbing his t-shirt and dragging him down to the couch with her. He shifted to lay on his side, like he was before Dawn had interrupted them and she immediately went to the button of his jeans.

"You don't have to-"

"I know, but I want to," Buffy interrupted. "Don't you?"

There was that look in her eyes again. The look he still couldn't place or figure out what it meant. Not just simple insecurity but something bigger, deeper and something he still couldn't put his finger on. He had figured most of them out by now but this one remained evasive and made his heart ache for her and whatever it was she felt during those moments. He wanted to hold her and tell her not to look like that, not to think or feel whatever it was that made her react that way but he knew that wouldn't help. Whatever it was, it was ingrained in her. Probably had been for a long time, before he ever knew her.

"If you touch, I touch," he answered. His hand moved to her breast, giving it a light squeeze before moving down to her pants, pausing at the button. "Yeah?"

"Okay but..."

"But?"

She pulled on his t-shirt. "Will you take this off?"

"Will you?"

Buffy blushed. "I can't...I mean, I don't...I'm not wearing..." She sighed in frustration. "I'll be naked," she finished softly.

"We could put this over us," he offered, reaching towards the end of the couch for the throw that was draped over the arm.

"My mother made that!"

"And?"

"And I don't think it was for the purpose of covering up the naked parts of her daughter."

"Fine."

"Don't get huffy."

"I'm not getting huffy."

"That fine had an edge to it."

"Bloody hell, Buffy. Drop it."

The doorbell rang and they looked at each other. Buffy shrugged and got up to answer the door.

"Trick or treat!"

"Um, it's nine o'clock. Trick or treating is officially over and I have no candy left."

"You suck."

"And a happy Halloween to you, too," Buffy said as she shut the door on the kids. She leaned against it and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a long, pent-up sigh. Were they just fighting? Over a blanket? How ridiculous is that? She heard him shuffling around, unzipping his book bag and the thud of books being jammed into it. She frowned, wondering what she could do to make sure he didn't just take off.

"You're leaving?" she asked as she came back in the room.

"I should study and being here, with you, isn't entirely helping me."

"Oh."

"I'll see you tomorrow at school?" Spike asked as he stood up.

She nodded and watched him bend down to pick up his bag. In that instant she decided he wasn't going anywhere.

So she ran at him and tackled him onto the couch.

They landed with an "oomph" and Spike looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"What in the hell are you doing?"

She grabbed his head and kissed him, hard. Her tongue slipped out and ran along his lips until he opened his mouth and she slipped inside. She adjusted her body to straddle his hips, slightly grinding down on the hardness she could feel between her legs. He breathed in harshly and mumbled her name. She let go of him, sat up and bent over backwards to grab the blanket.

When she returned to her upright position, she saw the odd look on his face. "What?"

"I didn't know you were so...bendy."

"You haven't seen anything yet," she joked.

A soft moan escaped him before he asked, "Is that a promise?"

She laughed and shook out the blanket. She nodded her head in his direction. "You first."

"Should we be doing this here?"

"Well, we can't go upstairs. Dawnie..."

"I remember the last couch incident we had and-"

"The door's locked, the curtains are closed and if Dawn comes down here without announcing herself first, she knows she'll lose a limb. We're covered."

"Hopefully, not for long," he muttered. He sat up and before he could reach for the hem of his shirt, Buffy already had it pulled up and was waiting for him to lift his arms. "Impatient."

"Yup," she said cheerfully as he lifted his arms and she pulled the shirt off the rest of the way.

He leaned back on his elbows as her hands slid down his chest. When she got to the waistline of his jeans, she stopped and raised her hands over her head. He tilted his head as he looked at her and bit back the laugh at the look on her face. Her eyes were screwed shut and she was almost grimacing as she waited for him to take her shirt off.

One eye popped open and she looked down at him. "Well?"

"You sure? You look like you're about to keel over from embarrassment."

"The quicker you do it, the quicker I can put the blanket over me. Come on before I change my mind."

Not one for being told twice, he pulled her shirt over her head in one swift motion and threw it next to his on the carpet. He barely got a chance to look before the blanket was wrapped around her.

"If this makes you nervous, we really don't need to-"

"Spike, I appreciate you being all gentlemanly and whatever but I'm fine. Yeah, I'm nervous but I'm thinking you can help me with that if you just shut up and kiss me."

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned towards him and shivered when her nipples grazed his naked chest. His mouth found hers and she felt like they sat there like that for days but it had only been a couple of minutes. They broke apart and she gently pushed him back down to the couch and went to follow when his hands grasped onto her upper arms.

"Can I see?"

She gulped. "You want me to just sit here and have you look at me?"

"Yes," Spike answered and tried not to smile when her eyes bugged out.

"But...but," she stuttered, not able to think of one coherent thing. "You won't laugh?"

"Why would I laugh?" he asked, completely astounded that she would even ask such a ridiculous questions.

"I'm not...there are...flaws." Her voice was so low; he had to strain to hear her.

"I doubt that."

"I'm telling you. Angel-"

"Stop right there. That wanker has proven he knows fuck all about you." He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her in for a quick kiss. "You are the most enticing, radiant, divine woman I have ever seen. Believe me."

"I'm not."

"Buffy, are you going to believe whatever bogus rhetoric he spewed on you to beat you down or are you going to believe me?"

"I want to," she admitted.

"Then do because it's true."

She pulled away from him and he dropped his hand from her head. He thought he'd gone too far until she rolled her shoulders back and subsequently dropped the blanket from around her. He looked at her face and her eyes were closed, the blush that reddened her cheeks spreading down her neck to her chest.

He breathed in deeply at the sight of her. Flawed? Not bloody likely. If he ever saw Angel again, he'd be sure to beat his ass for making this girl think that she was anything less than sublime. He didn't want to scare her away but he did want to touch her. _When I say touch me, I mean touch me_. Did that still apply now? He shrugged and traced his fingers along her collarbone, moving down slowly, smiling as he felt her skin rise up from his light touch.

His fingers grazed the top of breast and slid down center to her puckered nipple. He ran the pad of his thumb over and she gasped. He looked up to see her head bent to the side and her mouth slightly parted.

Fuck this, he thought as he grabbed her around the waist again and brought her down to the couch with him. Before they even landed he was on her. One of his arms trapped under her but not unmovable so he massaged the tension knots from her back. His other hand was a blur of movement. He couldn't settle on one place to touch her.

Buffy having got over shock of being pulled down so quickly, flung her leg over Spike's, inching towards him. Being on her side didn't give her left arm a lot of leeway for movement but her hand helped its right counterpart in unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. She cupped him through the material and he broke his mouth from hers to take a breath. She took the opportunity to do the same.

She brought her hand to her mouth and licked it from the base of her palm to the tips of her finger. He looked at her, brow furrowed. She did it again and moved her hand back down. Her other hand pulled his jeans open and she wrapped her wet hand around his cock. She waited a moment before she began to move slowly up and down, down and up, remembering to use the pre-cum to help lubricate. Thank goodness for Cosmo, she thought absently.

"How'd you..."

"I read something once. Slippery when wet, right?"

"Uh-huh," he muttered as he moved his head down to her breast and without a moment's hesitation, took her nipple into his mouth. His hand massaged around the breast as he laved her nipple with his tongue. He bit at it gently and Buffy groaned loudly which spurred him on further. He tried to move his arm from around her back as gently as he could without making either of them stop what they were doing but it proved fruitless. Buffy caught on to what he wanted and lifted herself a bit for him to move. He glanced at her, smiling gratefully, and quickly went to work on the buttons of her jeans.

Buffy was dizzy. She felt there but not there. Like she was watching her do these things on her mother's couch and it was disconcerting. She was trying to focus but kept being distracted from the feel of his mouth on her breast and his rock hard erection in her hand. Her breath caught in her throat altogether when she felt his hand cup her mound over her panties. Breathe, Buffy, breathe, she kept telling herself. But she couldn't; didn't remember how to do so.

[edited]

"Pet?" He waited. "Buffy?"

"Shh, shh," she whispered.

"You alright?"

"What _ was_ that?"

"What do you..." And then he got it and he tried to contain his surprise. "You've never..."

"Okay, a) I've read about orgasms. The best way to go about having them, the things that make them better, blah blah. b) It never, ever said it was anything like **that**. c) They should really tell you exactly what it's like because I probably would have tried to have that happen a loooonnng time ago."

"I didn't hurt you then?"

"No, of course you didn't. Although I did think my head exploded at one point." She brought her arm up and cupped his face. "Thank you."

"Any time. I'm going to need my hand back," he said, lightly, nodding his head in the direction of their hands that were still in her pants.

"No."

"No?" He laughed and she followed him. 

[edited]

She settled down next to him and he pulled her closer. Buffy snuggled her head in the crevice between his head and shoulder. He grabbed the blanket and draped it over them. He loved that she wasn't automatically going for her shirt to cover up and seemed content just to lie there with him.

"Happy Halloween," she giggled.

"Best damn Hallows Eve I've ever had." His hand sneaked under the blanket and he ran his index finger down the center of her breast before going around to her back. Her breath hitched and he smiled. "So tell me, pet, why weren't you wearing a bra? Not that I'm complaining, believe you me but..."

"It was annoying me so I took it off," she told him simply. "Should we study some more?"

"Nah, too tired now but I'll be sure to keep you in mind next time I need to. You have a bloody fantastic rewards system."

They laughed together and she cuddled into him even further, her breasts now squished against his chest. She moved her arm under his and around his back. They stayed like that; not even realizing they both fell asleep in the comfort and warmth of the other.

tbc...


	10. 10

Chapter 10  
  
Dawn didn't know what to think of this. Buffy always closed her door when she went to sleep at night and here it was, wide open. The second thing that struck her as odd was that Buffy's bed was made. Without their mother at home, Buffy's bed was never made and if it was, it certainly didn't get fixed in the morning as she was always running late. Then a thought struck her by force.  
  
What if she hadn't slept in her bed at all last night?  
  
Her eyes went wide and she smiled just thinking of all the useless crap she could get Buffy to do for her so that Joyce didn't find out. She hummed to herself as she made her way down the stairs and found Buffy sleeping on the couch, the blanket wrapped around her. She tip-toed over to her and reached over to grab her when her eye spotted the shirt that Buffy had been wearing the previous night.  
  
Did I hit the jackpot or what? she thought excitedly. She leaned over and gently pushed her sister's arm. Buffy made a sound but otherwise didn't move. Dawn tried again, a little harder. Same result. She stood up to her full height and put her hands on her hips, trying to decide the best way to wake her up without getting herself killed. They only had twenty minutes to get to school and if they wanted to make it on time, Buffy needed to get ready now.  
  
"BUFFY!"  
  
Buffy shot up from the couch, eyes wide and searching, before coming to rest on Dawn. Her eyes than narrowed to slits as she gave her sister the dirtiest look she possessed.  
  
"What is your problem?"  
  
"We're going to be late for school."  
  
"School?"  
  
"Yeah, Thursday? School day."  
  
"Oh, yeah..."  
  
"Want your shirt?" Dawn asked as she leaned over and grabbed it from the floor and dangled it from her index finger.  
  
Buffy quickly tugged it away from her and ducked under the blanket to put it on. "If you tell Mom, Dawn, I will kill you."  
  
"I'm sorry. What was that? You're muffled from the blanket," Dawn teased, having heard her.  
  
Buffy sighed heavily and tried to get out from under the blanket but she was tangled all around it. Finally and with much effort, she wrenched the blanket off her and threw to the end of the couch.  
  
"God damn it!" she yelled, giving it a final kick. She stood and ran her fingers through her hair and looked at her sister. "You can not tell Mom that I slept on the couch...like that. Do you understand me? She'll tell me I can't see him anymore or something completely inane."  
  
"Did Spike spend the night?"  
  
"Wasn't he here when you woke up?"  
  
"No. Just you."  
  
"Oh..." Buffy averted her eyes but Dawn saw the wetness come to the surface.  
  
"Buffy? Are you okay?" she asked, putting her hand on Buffy's arm.  
  
"Mmm-hmm. Fine. I have to get ready." Buffy walked around her and went to the stairs.  
  
"Do you want me to put a bagel in the toaster or something?"  
  
"No, thanks, Dawnie. I'm...I'm not hungry."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He just left her.  
  
On the couch.  
  
Half-naked for her sister to find.  
  
Nice. Really nice.  
  
They had English together next and up until this point, school had been going fine. She was tired, sore for more reasons than just sleeping on the couch and she was miserable. Oh, boy, was she miserable. Even Willow had stayed clear from her after Buffy spat out one too many answers about what she had done the previous night. Oz had even told her that she needed to calm down. Oz, for Christ sakes! The guy you had to literally pull words out of had told her to calm down.  
  
She had told him to fuck off.  
  
She wasn't proud of herself.  
  
How could he have done that? Why didn't he try to wake her? Why didn't he say goodbye or, at the very least, leave her a note? It wasn't too much to ask, was it? They had fallen asleep together, practically naked, after having done some things that Buffy was still processing that she had done and he couldn't even tear out a piece of paper from his notebook and write a quick "See you at school" on it? Pig.  
  
She should have known. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did she believe him? Why did she think she could trust him? Why did she allow herself to fall-  
  
No, she thought, shaking her head. Not going down that road. Not even thinking about that.  
  
They really were all the same, weren't they? Maybe he didn't get everything he wanted from her, but he had apparently received enough. God, was she that hideous? Was she really as bad as Angel had told her she was? Apparently so, since Spike went running for the hills, as well.  
  
All she wanted was to ditch school but she knew Snyder would jump at the chance to tell her mother that Buffy flaked on the rest of her classes when she was away. The last thing she wanted was her mother coming down on her when she got home. It was going to be difficult enough to get Dawn not to say anything. Although, she had to hand it to her little sister. She didn't pester Buffy on the way to school, she didn't even talk and when they parted ways, she gave Buffy the sweetest smile she had. It spoke volumes to Buffy and had made her feel a little bit better about going off to school.  
  
She could do this. She would simply walk into class, take her seat and pay attention to Baldy. Maybe she could even learn something today. He probably wouldn't even try to talk to her, anyway, so she didn't know why she was getting all worked up about it. She had all these feelings running through her and she didn't know what to do with them.  
  
She felt humiliated. Out of all them, that was the strongest and the one she was least thrilled about. She could deal with the hurt, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness and confusion but humiliation? She hated that. Give her pain any day of the week; just don't make her feel ashamed. She's always tried not to, despite some of the decisions she had made through out her life. She tried not to hold onto regret, to not feel badly about wrong choices.  
  
Now was different, though. She let herself believe in him, in them, whatever that was. He did a fantastic job of convincing her that he was sincere, that she meant something to him. She let her guard down for him and now all she could do was kick herself for being such a fool.  
  
Buffy rounded the corner and looked up. Her heart stopped and leapt to her throat. She could feel the burn in her cheeks spreading through the rest of her body. She couldn't breathe and her eyes went wide as she began to visibly have trouble taking a breath. The last the thing she wanted was for him to see her like this.  
  
To see her broken.  
  
And there he was, in all his black-wearing glory, with Drusilla. Leaning into Drusilla. Talking quietly with Drusilla.  
  
Why would he do this to her? Say those things to her? Act like he cared, like he...Why? Just so he could get Drusilla back? Something was off; all of it was off. Buffy finally took a deep breath, walked backwards around the corner she came from and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes and took small, shallow breaths, trying desperately to regain her composure. She needed to get to class.  
  
All that stood in her way was Spike and his companion. She peeked around the corner, her heart lurching again.  
  
They were talking. Intimately. He didn't look angry or put off to be doing so. He looked very much like he had when he confronted her at her locker a few weeks ago. Was that his thing? Box a girl into a corner and use the low, sexy voice on her?  
  
She banged her head against the wall. God, I really am that pathetic, aren't I?  
  
"You coming to cla- Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked, rushing over to her friend.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Stop saying that. What's wrong?"  
  
"Spike."  
  
"Did something happen?"  
  
"Take a look," she told her friend, nodding her head in the direction of the other hall. Willow peered around the corner and her eyes went wide. "Exactly."  
  
"You don't even know what that means. Please, don't do this to yourself until-"  
  
"Until what, Willow? Until he hurts me like Angel did? Screw that. I know exactly what that means. Buffy Summers, duped again. And now they can share a nice, British, laugh over it. I don't care."  
  
"Buffy-"  
  
"I. Don't. Care." Buffy pushed past Willow and took another deep breath as she started down the hall again. She held her head high, mentally replacing each brick of her crumbled wall. This would not, could not, happen again.  
  
She would not give another boy the satisfaction of seeing pain on her face.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike stood in the hall and waited, knowing that Buffy should be coming soon. He had a bad feeling that when she woke up and saw that he was gone, she didn't take it too lightly. Not that he could blame her. He wanted to apologize and then he wanted her to kiss his swollen cheek and have everything be okay again.  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the locker. Despite that there could be a potential fight between them, he was still on cloud nine over the night before. The way she looked, felt, the things that she had done...It was by far better than anything he had cooked up in his imagination. She was so soft and warm, surprisingly demanding and the sounds she made...It was enough to drive any sane man mad.  
  
And he couldn't wait to do it again. Over and over, whenever, wherever. He didn't care as long as the end result was her moaning out his name.  
  
He was half convinced that it had been wet dream number 20 when he had woken in a daze that morning but then she had curled against him even more, he realized it had really happened. He kept repeating it to himself all morning to solidify the reality of it. However, in the four hours he had been at school, he hadn't seen her once and he was beginning to wonder if it really was a dream or worse.  
  
What if she clammed up again? What if last night was too much for her? Did he push her into it?  
  
No, he thought, she attacked me so I wouldn't leave. She was fine with it. Wasn't she?  
  
He needed to see her, to talk to her, to make sure everything was a-okay between them. They'd come this far and he be damned if he was just going to let her retreat. If she was embarrassed, then he would just have to prove to her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. If she had trouble believing that, he would just have to prove it to her somehow, in some way. All he knew was that he wasn't letting her go.  
  
"Something troubling you, my pet?"  
  
Spike opened his eyes and sighed when he saw Drusilla standing in front of him. "What could you possibly want now?"  
  
She lifted her hand and ran it over his risen flesh. "What happened, dearie? She get a little rough with my delicate boy?"  
  
He grabbed her hand and held it away from his face. "I'm not your anything, Dru. Get it through that thick noggin of yours."  
  
"Why must you persist in delaying the inevitable, William? It will take too much groveling to win her back now and-"  
  
He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around, forcing her against the wall. He dropped his hands and leaned into her. His voice low, harsh and menacing. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Your chippy is not pleased."  
  
"You've seen her today?"  
  
"In more ways than one," she sing-songed. "You shouldn't stand so close someone might get the wrong idea."  
  
"You tell me now."  
  
"And what do I get?"  
  
"Me not beating you black and blue."  
  
She laughed. "Oh, my boy, you know I like it rough. Don't tease me so."  
  
"You listen to me, you half-witted-" He stopped abruptly when he smelled Buffy's perfume go by him. He turned his head quickly and saw her walking towards the classroom. Not paying any further attention to Dru, he went after her.  
  
"It won't help. Don't even bother," Drusilla called out to him but he ignored her in his pursuit. "Suit yourself." She turned to leave and stopped short when she took notice of the red headed girl standing in front of her.  
  
"I think we need to have a little talk," Willow said, her face broaching no argument.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Buffy, will you hold up a second?" he asked, grabbing a hold of her arm.  
  
"Let. Go. Of. Me."  
  
"No, come with me." He tried pulling her towards the doors to the hall but she wouldn't budge. "Don't be like this. Please, let me-"  
  
"You don't get to do anything. Now let go," Buffy interrupted, her voice soft and measured. She yanked her arm from his grasp and winced when he accidentally pinched her skin, trying to keep his hold of her.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
"Like you care."  
  
"Look at me, pet."  
  
"No and if you ever call me that again, I will castrate you. Do you understand me?" She didn't wait for his response and continued on her way.  
  
Spike ran up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, lifted her and started walking to the doors.  
  
"Put me down!" Buffy shrieked, her face burning in embarrassment as the other kids in the hallway stopped to watch them.  
  
"No."  
  
She started swinging her legs and smiled when she knew she clipped him a couple of times. She dropped her books and began to slap his hands and arms, hoping she'd hit him hard enough that he would drop her. He made it through the double doors and walked behind the staircase. He let go of her and as soon as her feet hit the floor, he turned her around with her back against the wall.  
  
"Now you listen to me, you stubborn chit-"  
  
"Name calling won't help, you idiot!"  
  
"I'm an idiot?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You may be right because I can not for the life of me figure what's got that temper of yours flaring up."  
  
"Oh, please," she huffed.  
  
"I'm sorry I left-"  
  
She pushed him away from her. "You're an asshole, you know that? I don't want your apologies. Shove them some place really painful." He lifted his head to look at her and she took in a sharp breath. "What happened to your face?"  
  
"You happened."  
  
"I did that just now?"  
  
"No, you did that this morning when I tried to wake you up."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I woke up, saw what time it was, knew for certain my mother was probably having a coronary and I tried to wake you. You wouldn't budge so I shook you a little, tried every trick I could think up and when none of that worked, I shook you a little harder than I probably should have and you punched me."  
  
"I punched you?"  
  
"You clocked me good and you went right back to sleep. I figured I couldn't wake you without taking the risk of more harm so I tucked you in all nice and snug-like, left you a note and went home."  
  
"Wait," she said, holding up her hand. "You left me a note?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I didn't want you to think-" He stopped talking when she broke out into hysterical laughter. "It's not funny."  
  
"You left me a note?" she repeated.  
  
"Yeah, we covered that bit already."  
  
She laughed harder, bending over and holding her sides. "You left me a note..."  
  
"Let me guess, you didn't see it?" She shook her head, continuing to laugh. "I put it inside your book so you wouldn't miss it."  
  
"What book?" she asked, wiping her tears away.  
  
"MacBeth. I knew you didn't read the assignment and I figured you would've during your study period."  
  
"No, I was trying to understand chem for the quiz today..."  
  
"So it's-"  
  
"Still in my book, which is now on the floor out there." She gasped and put her hand to mouth. "What if someone saw it?"  
  
"Who's going to care?"  
  
"Mr. Alden, Miss Summers, come with me, please," Principal Snyder said. He held up a piece of notebook paper and grinned maliciously. "I believe we have something to discuss." 


End file.
